Just want to go home

My eldest is 12 and my youngest is almost 2. We travel frequently, all over the world and also do lots of camping and music festivals. I have learned that travelling with kids is almost never as good as the memories of travelling with kids. I have had to catch poo into napkins whilst halfway up a mountain in a ski lift. I have washed sick out of my own hair into a tiny basin (with next to no water pressure) on a sleeper train in the middle of a desert. I have thrown clothes from a balcony in Greece in a fit of rage whilst other holidaymakers filmed me... It's proabably on TikTok. I have changed nappies on the tarmac of Barbados airport. I have jumped from a moving vehicle in order to save "Bobby" - a pink bunny that I guard with my life.

On top of this, we have had knocked-out teeth, grape choking, sun burn, allergies, heat stroke, an over-interested bear... You name it.

Plus, I am the one who organises, packs, unpacks, washes 20kg of laundry... And I also have to get everything for a song, because I grew up with no money and still can't bear to waste a penny of my own now. This can make it even more stressful.

OP, I honestly, honestly don't know why I do it. We're taking our non-school aged one to Glasto in 3 weeks and I think I might actually be insane.

I think it is normal to want to come home, especially when the hotel is a bag of dicks. I can remember weeping over a runny blancmange in a particularly shabby hotel in Agadir a few years ago. (What can I say? I was tired.)

My kids do constantly talk about how amazing our holidays have always been. In fact, the one I hated the most was their "favourite".

I don't have any advice, because I'm clearly insane but... Solidarity, sister. Holidaying with kids is no holiday.

We tried that too. All inclusive. 9 months. We were used to nice holidays travelling and backpacking. Baby crawling and falling over and burning themselves on the hot floor. In the end I stropped at staff so they got us sunbeds and we made it through. We then spent 7 years on holidays in Cornwall, Devon, Scotland and France where we could throw everything in the car.

I know travel bloggers say you can travel with kids but I don't want to spend £4k on flights to use a playground I could use in South West England.

We're now back to our old pre baby holidays with the kids. Backpacking. Interrailing. They love it. We keep the same bedtime hours - kids will stay up chatting in restaurants until 11pm whilst we drink wine and play games. They're now 8 and 10 and it's glorious. It will pass.

Just make your life easier until it does.

We had a fantastic holiday in a villa in Florida when dc was 20 months. Villa was lovely own pool (all safety fenced/alarned), kitchen.
We went when it was cooler.
We very much went with flow so dc slept late, we had lie ins and was up late.
Everything was very child friendly.

I don’t think it’s the being abroad that’s necessarily a problem, but more the type of holiday. We have always booked villas with private pools & a garden and got a hire car, rather than hotels / apartments with shared pools. That way you can shape your holiday to fit your little one a bit better and everything is much more relaxed and enjoyable for everyone. We took our first son abroad for the first time at 3 months old, and have been doing hot holidays and skiing hols several times a year since.

Also, Greece at this time of year is pretty hot, you might have been better going to France where the weather is warmer than Britain but not so hot, for a first attempt with your toddler. Hopefully you’lol have some better days before you fly home, and can recharge your batteries a bit.

This is why I didn’t take my children abroad until they were old enough to understand. Much older than yours. They were happy in this country. I noticed on a recent flight the amount of small children that became upset with having to keep a seat belt on etc. It’s hard when you can’t explain it to them. To me that isn’t a holiday. If it’s just a week it will go quick. Maybe book a spa weekend or something to recover! I feel for you hope it improves.

We have twins and would regularly stop at holiday destinations enroute to Australia with them from the age of 6 months.

The only one holiday we had with issues was the one we where we were holidaying with others for a wedding so was trying to fit the twin's routines around trying to work in being with the other people. ie need to have a nap now as we are going to dinner at x. or need a bath now as need to be at dinner at x.

the thing is as your toddlers first trip abroad they are likely feeling misplaced and likely they want some control over their environment to help with this anxiety so that's why they are fighting you.

need a nappy change? ask them - your nappy is full shall we change it? if they say no - leave it and ask again in 10mins.

would you like to go to the pool - we need swimmers for the pool like the other children - shall we put your swimmers on too ?

It's really tough and a huge adjustment of expectations the first time. My kids were hard work as babies/toddlers and I just vetoed holidaying with them until they were 2.5. (Luckily my parents live by the UK seaside so we did have a few days "holiday" there before then.) It's much easier when they can walk a bit, follow basic instructions/be bribed with smarties and don't need bottles made up etc.

When we started holidaying abroad with our eldest we did eurocamps. It was great as we could have our own space and he had his own room. He was a good sleeper but if sharing with us that was too exciting! We did Italy, France then Slovenia/Croatia, all in June before it got too hot. It helped to break the day into lots of little bits as he couldn't settle at anything for long. I was shellshocked by how non stop it was but we'd sunbathe outside our cabin while he had an afternoon nap. We had to get used to not being able to have long lazy boozy dinners. It was get it done and go! Then have a glass of wine on the veranda once he was asleep. Once he was 5+ it got better and easier each year though we would often go May half term (and then somewhere else October half term if we could afford it) rather than in the heat of summer. Did first long haul with him age 7 and he coped brilliantly.

Our second was born when he was 9 so we started all over again, though not with eurocamp - it's far too expensive in school holidays. Tui holiday villages were great though as they have loads of kids clubs from age 3+ which she loved and which gave us a couple of breaks each day from running after her. Once she was 8 we started long haul again and like her brother is now a great traveller.

Hang in there, it's worth it. In the meantime work out what works and do those things in bite size chunks. (We used to bring a portable dvd player and watch a disney film in the room during the hottest part of the day. These days it's a tablet with stuff downloaded from Netflix!) I was quite firm about healthy eating at home but on holiday i let them eat what they wanted as it kept them fed and sitting at the table. The fight to apply sunscreen however is still a battle grrrr.

That's why we bought a really cheap touring caravan when the kids were tiny. They grew up caravnning in our beautiful country. Best thing about a tourer is you can have the weather. Check out the forecast in the week and go where it looks best for the weekend. It's a home from home for them, and loads of other kids to play with whilst you chill with a cup of tea 🍵

Holidays with little ones are overrated. You’re better off staying home as a family and doing treats.

Can you ask the hotel to switch your room? The rattling glass balcony doesn't sound very safe and you have a toddler.

As for towels on the sun bed - sling them off! People shouldn't be able to baggsy facilities they aren't actually using, so they are sitting empty while others would like to use them. Doesn't matter if you piss people off - you don't see them again next week.

Maybe investigate whether there are more child friendly excursions you could take, at different times of the day - I wouldn't worry about keeping your child in their normal routine. You have to adapt to the weather and follow more what local people do with their kids.

We always self catered when our DC were little, usually a gite in France or eurocamp static caravan in Tuscany etc.

we were in Tuscany during a heatwave one year- we love medieval towns, castles etc so we would just go on a long drive in the heat of the day, AC on full, and the kids would sleep whilst we admired the countryside.

by the time we got to town/castle/lake etc everyone was rested and ready to eat pizza and ice cream and stay up late.

We always had simple holidays either in UK or in France, when kids were little.
I must say I am always amazed at the number of families with very young children at airports and faraway resorts. Just stay nearer to home, bucket and spade, and enjoy. Time will come for the other type of holiday later on.

I refused to go abroad until our DC were over 3 for this reason. Pre kids we always went long haul 5 star and our first holiday to a family friendly AI in Majorca was a shock!

For the first two holidays abroad we went AI even though it wasn't our preference and DD refused to eat anything at all from the hotel. Walks to the local shop to get food she would eat and she would nap in her buggy saved our sanity. By 4 she would take a two hour nap on the sun lounger while we relaxed with a sangria or two so it does get easier.

Another thing that has worked for us is book a decent hotel ideally with a room with its own pool / hot tub or a big balcony you can put a paddling pool on and they have space to play. Sometimes this isn't that more expensive and it's made a huge difference to our holiday.

Honestly our best holidays have been to Center Parcs though and the DC agree with this too.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

I agree with others though - just relax your expectations. Don't bother putting her in a swimsuit if she doesn't like it. Buy a child's t-shirt from a shop and put that on her if you want her covered a bit. Let her sleep in the bed with you and then transfer her. Let her eat ice cream and omelettes all week.

Hope it gets better.

Yours is the experience of people I knew when my children were small. We didn't bother going away for years until they were much bigger. Never regretted it.
It sounds really exhausting. Hope it gets easier for you.

Also Aircon can be a local shopping centre or child friendly restaurants or other indoor area at the hotel.

We saved our money when they were small, and spent it when they were older. Even then we made mistakes, though. Paris is not a child-friendly holiday.

When you have very little ones you need to design your days around the kids. It's not like the old days. So, stay in the Aircon during peak sun hours 12-4. Go to the beach and find some playgrounds for early in the day and the late afternoon when cooler. Stick to meal and nap/sleep times and routines. Sun lotion, hat and cotton clothes that cover them up applied first thing and again at lunch or after water play. Get some new beach toys or toys for the pool for novelty value. Have calmer one to one time with the kids during Aircon time in the middle of the day, rather than have them out with the other families and kids all day long....it's exhausting for them. I know it's not a very exciting holiday but it's more enjoyable than the situation you have described.

I remember someone saying to me, Why don’t you take the children abroad and you can sit at the side of the pool with a book while they play? Omg I couldn’t read a single page. She knew my children as well! Not sure if any parent can do that anyway 😄

We've been on holidays when our kids were small, once when one of ours was still in nappies so I get where you're coming from.
One tip I would make is to get bottles of water and if you're in a room with a fridge that has an ice box at the top of it, put the water there. Let it freeze overnight and then in the morning, take the bottles out and wrap them in a face cloth or hand towel from the room. Then as the ice melts you can sip freezing cold water throughout the morning and repeat as needed.

For your little one @holly201 - I'd make sure they had ice or ice pops (more watery based pops than creamy) because they are probably trying to make the adjustment to the heat - sleeping in it and doing things during the day in it.

For your next holiday with the little one, I'd look at an All Inclusive family friendly holiday because it sounds like you booked somewhere that is more couple friendly but doesn't restrict families from staying either. Some places are better equipped to deal with families than others.

Think of the rest of us sitting under cloudy skies with temperatures not even getting into the mid 20's while you're by the pool or even in your room sipping cold drinks with umbrellas in them! We still need the umbrellas to protect us from the rain here (lol)

We've been on holidays when our kids were small, once when one of ours was still in nappies so I get where you're coming from.
One tip I would make is to get bottles of water and if you're in a room with a fridge that has an ice box at the top of it, put the water there. Let it freeze overnight and then in the morning, take the bottles out and wrap them in a face cloth or hand towel from the room. Then as the ice melts you can sip freezing cold water throughout the morning and repeat as needed.

For your little one @holly201 - I'd make sure they had ice or ice pops (more watery based pops than creamy) because they are probably trying to make the adjustment to the heat - sleeping in it and doing things during the day in it.

For your next holiday with the little one, I'd look at an All Inclusive family friendly holiday because it sounds like you booked somewhere that is more couple friendly but doesn't restrict families from staying either. Some places are better equipped to deal with families than others.

Think of the rest of us sitting under cloudy skies with temperatures not even getting into the mid 20's while you're by the pool or even in your room sipping cold drinks with umbrellas in them! We still need the umbrellas to protect us from the rain here (lol)

Random thought....why are you bothering with swim suits and so on? Can the little one do without?

Don't think this will lead to the more pleasant holiday if the owners come back and find a frazzled mum and overheated toddler on their chair.

Best option is to pay a bit more for a hotel with pre-reserved sunbeds, beach beds, umbrellas or some kind of guaranteed shade. Or indoor pool area to avoid the midday sun. The right resort makes a massive difference.

We went through many disastrous holidays before finding a few perfect hotels that have beach access, reserved loungers, indoor activities and food that DD always eats. (Not a fan of self catering because food shopping and cooking in a foreign place makes the holiday even more strenuous).

Not if you find the right place. Honestly.

Drove to France overnight ferry and had an amazingly relaxing holiday with kids aged 2-8 for 3 years running (I know it’s a bit dull going to the same place but it as so relaxing we daren’t do it differently).

You just have to find the right set up. Somewhere with a nod to being child friendly (most places) versus child centred (so parents can relax) set up by parents for parents.

I’m struggling to remember the name of it but it was between La Rochelle and Bordeaux and nearest holiday resort type place was Royan. I think I actually saw an advert on here.

Move the towels on the sunbeds?