Just want to go home

Spanish hours are different. Everyone goes out in the evening, eats late, children stay up among the adults. Playgrounds are out in the sun because they will be used at dusk and in the evening and they will retain the warmth of the day. If on holiday in Spain follow the local pattern with a siesta in the heat of the afternoon, eating late in the evening. Works ok, then.

I have never been overseas with the kids and me & DH.
We have gone with my parents & sometimes sister too.
The more adults you have, the more you can share the load.
We had 1 holiday where youngest just wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me.
I took most night shifts, DH & my parents the day shifts so I could rest....I took DS for naps and was just about sociable by eve meals lol.
Also had holidays where they have slept with us....just cose it meant we all got sleep.
Honestly, you have my sympathy, it must be so hard.

I think now mine are high school age I could manage with them and just us 🤣.

We learnt by this kind of mistake that we would only go to places that have kids clubs and childcare, activities, creches and a separate living room and bedroom for the room so we arent all stuck in one dark rokm come 7pm. If we cant afford that kind of holiday then we dont go as its not enjoyable. You are not being unreasonable. Next holiday then research this extensively, there are loads of hotels that cater for young kids and families. Or holidays like caravan holidays where you have a chill space once the kids are asleep. We went to a boutique hotel with our one year old and it was hell and I ended up drinking a bottle of calpol as I had an extreme headache and no tablets and then we got up at 5am the next day and went home early as it was awful. Ao no youre not unreasonable but take it as a learning curve and choose your hotels wisely. We have stayed in aome amazing hotels since that cater for families with creches, playrooms, activities and games etc.

That's an interesting thought. We didnt holiday much before we had DCs so there was nothing to miss.

We have never had a hotel based holiday, always self catered whether in our first ridge tent or a villa with our own pool.

DH does most of the cooking whether home or away. He does enjoy a mooch round a foreign supermarket. We kept meals simple and SC meant we could eat outside at a time which suited us and no worries about spills etc.

For DCs, holiday always meant a long drive - we never flew. The longest trip was down to Costa Blanca (decided that was a half day too far). DD1 had book tapes from the age of 4 then DVD players as they came along. Started with one between 3 then one each as prices came down.

Most holidays were in French campsites away from beaches which means bigger pitches. Mobile homes once funds allowed, they are designed for small children and still worked well when DCs were teenagers.

It does get better.

This!!
Next time book a holiday with a crèche or when old enough, a kids club where you can drop them off for half the day. they love it and they’re entertained and exhausted so will sleep at night.

I'd rather saw off my own leg than go to Butlins.

I hear ya sister! We went on holiday every year but each and every one was rubbish (overall, some nice monents notwithstanding) till the youngest was about 4 and out the buggy (they’re 9 and 11 now). Last few years they’ve been magical and everything we’d hoped for. Hang in there

One other thing - the sunbed thing is everywhere. We gave up complaining as it happens in every hotel, every nationality does it (not just the Brits!). The kids are up early on holiday so we tend to put a towel down (if thats the done thing) and go straight to the pool from breakfast.

I have to say this isnt our experience at all as have always loved all inclusives from that age. But like another poster said, be picky! I’d rather go every other year to a nicer one if need be. Read the reviews from people with similar age kids.

First, definately a very good toddler/splash area. Lots of space to play, pirate ship, shallow water they can paddle in. Check out the Tui holiday villages or Viva/Zafiro hotels in Majorca.

We dont worry about food on holiday - if they live off chips and ice cream, its one week. Get back to a balanced diet back home. Make sure they drink lots/lots of lollies etc.

I would find a villa hard work for entertainment. Much easier in a nice hotel with a waterpark, evening entertainment (even if they are asleep in the buggy), playground and not having to worry about cooking anything/shopping etc.

At that age, personally I wouldn’t holiday with others. Plenty of time for that when they are older and want friends to hang out with. I’d go as your little family so there’s no pressure to do anything other than what suits you.

Not sure Butlins will be anymore relaxing.

We have always holidayed with our children, it is the only thing that motivates us to go to work! Our children have been to many countries and always enjoyed it. But we have only travelled when we could afford nice hotels and keep the itinerary simple. Travelling with friends who have similar aged kids is also great. So mainly all inclusive 5 star resorts with good kids clubs and lots of activities. Try to make the most of it now that you are already there! Good luck!

We’ve always holidayed with our babies and young kids and had a good time. But we always stay in really decent accommodation, we don’t mind if we all end up swapping beds, nap times are out of the window and I don’t stress about their fruit or veg intake. Basically, I just go with it. Different to home.
I wouldn’t write off holidays for the next decade. Maybe just think about how you approach the next one and hopefully you’ll have better luck with the accommodation

I feel for you! We haven’t been abroad for 5 years now. We last went when our now 7 year old was just 2 and I was pregnant with our now 4.5 year old. All day every day our toddler kept saying he wanted to go home! The weather was warmish, but cool for the time of year there, so the pool and sea were freezing so he didn’t enjoy them. My partner and I got a sickness bug…it was just not great!! The last two years we have gone camping in Cornwall - first year was brilliant. Our now 2.5 year old wasn’t even crawling at the time so it was great. Last year, he was running everywhere like his two older brother and it was HELL. Absolute hell. I just kept crying. I wanted to love it so much, but honestly, out of two weeks we maybe had the total of 1 day that was great. We returned as much of our camping gear as we could as soon as we got home! We were going to brave going abroad this year, but the cost was eye watering for just half board and we’d also have to all get new passports. So we’re going to Cornwall again but staying in a brick structure this time 😂 I know it’s actual hell, but try to enjoy the rest of your holiday as much as you can. I really feel your pain! Our first holiday with our now 7yo was when he was 5 months and that was brilliant. I’m glad we have that memory as I think it’s going to be a while before we go abroad with them!

Had a really similar experience when our son was 18 mths and went to Spain with extended family. After that gave up on holidays abroad and embraced Bluestones, and other UK holiday parks. We soon learnt that a holiday where our child was happy and occupied was a holiday for us. We’ve just booked our first family trip back to Spain (two kids now who are 9 and 12 yrs), it won’t be exactly how we’d do it as two adults but we’ll get some sightseeing in.

This is the age we discovered centreparcs. Load up the car with kid stuff, spend the week among parents who are also beyond excited to have time in a different playground, pool or chain restaurant, and when we flopped at bedtime we were in a nice chalet.
Then they got older and we went to hot places again.
We went back to CP and hated it when they were older but it served its purpose!

Yes - we chucked all the kit in the car and drove to France with an overnight stop. Not too hot and very relaxed. There’s no way I would have done a hotel in the Med.

Yep, been there, it’s very stressful and you wish you never went indeed. Best to stick to the UK for the next few years, no heat for a start and you can save up more for a big holiday when she’s say 5. We are planning a safari in a few years time😅. Perhaps stay indoors more, the heat bothers toddlers big time.

I honestly think it's easier to stay closer to home until kids are about 10.
We always shared a larger house with friends in the UK and their little ones and at least we could all have a drink together when the kids were in bed or play games or whatever. Made it more affordable too.
We did France middle rather than south of france so temp wasn't above 30. Share a Gite and pool and explore the local towns.

Oh, OP I feel your pain but please don't be too hard on yourself. At that age, it is not the easiest to go on a holiday that you'd typically categorise as 'relaxing'.

I also think it's stressful, somehow, when you're away with such a young one with other families. We did it a couple of times but with ours at that point being the youngest (so wouldn't settle, other kids were toddlers), I think I felt more aware of the crying/not being settled than if if we'd holidayed on our own.

If in a hotel, I'd make sure there is ideally a separate bedroom or at least a corner where baby can sleep undisturbed (tbh we once even put baby for a nap in the bathroom in the cot provided, as DC would otherwise be woken up by us moving around) or where there is an outside space/patio/balcony you can spend time during naps.

Like someone else said, I'd rather pay more and go less often or on a shorter break to get the villa or suite type accommodation. For this reason, we didnn't actually go away in the peak summer months at all, as we weren't governed by school holidays at that stage so somewhere like Spain/Portugal is really lovely in March/October and MUCH cheaper.

Re accommodation, ideally with own pool so that you can enjoy it whilst babba is napping in the day. Don't go for the usual,, super expensive ones - there are others, look at Portugal (hot but lovely breeze, but beware of it being deceiving re sun protection/time in the sun).

I'd not worry at all about the food, tbh. Just let them enjoy whatever and have plenty of snacks to hand.

It WILL get better.

I disagree with most, it’s definitely different but I still loved holidaying when mine were that age. Although both mine got ill first holiday abroad and that was a bit tough (just nasty cold, probably from picking up germs on plane) Some things we did that helped:
let go of normal home routines
long afternoon walks for them to nap in buggy (we went with other families too and mums/dads would take it in turns for the post lunch walk, when the babies did drop off we would stop in a bar/cafe which served as a reward to us and also to keep them away from the business of pool and have a longer sleep - this is the hottest time of the day so the longer the better even if they stay up later.
if they were getting tired in evening before going out, feed them first, redo the walk and go enjoy a meal while they are sleeping. You could even send your partner out on the walk while you finish getting ready. They may wake up and want to run around later in the evening…so what, it’s holiday and lots of other children will be doing the same. It’s much cooler in the evening and therefore more fun for them. (Yes this involved a lot of time walking around behind them but you said you were with company so again take it in turns)
hopefully your pool has a baby area or shallow entrance to pool where you can sit with them with as many cheap plastic toys as you can carry. Don’t underestimate the fun of a watering can.
dont worry about getting them dressed after pool everytime, just pop the hooded towel and nappy on.
hope this helps, you may still decide it’s not for you, but I really think going with the flow is the best advice I can give for the rest of your holiday.

Never a truer word...😆

Take her skiing next year. Then you will appreciate the summer holiday.

It’s so hard I remember last year getting away and finding things like this so tricky. It’s easy to say but enjoy no dishes and chores for a bit and see if your baby doesn’t take to the water you don’t need to do it find something to keep her happy whether it’s snacks toys etc and try to get her tired out for a good nap. We used to put my boy in his pram and walk to a wee pier and the sound of the waves knocked him right out so we could have some relaxing time. Take turns as well you have an hour to yourself in the room go for a snooze or by the pool so that you each get a rest. Do what makes you happy and it will not do them any harm to skip a shower etc as well . The towels on the bed thing is unfortunately part of this kind of holiday experience I’m afraid so again take turns or if you’re putting baby to bed every night your partner could go down get the beds etc

Not read all of the replies OP, but this is precisely why we never holidayed in hotels.
Private villa with a pool is the way to go, and not as expensive as you may think.
All that nonsense about towels on sunbeds at 7am, who can be bothered!

we had a hol last year when toddler was 2.5 and older one 5 which was actually pretty fun. For the first time 😂 I’ve already booked my summer hol for next summer at a Cornish cottage as we’ll have a 1 yr old.

just take the towels off the sun beds in the shade if no one is using them. You have a baby, you need the shade.

work on your innocent face if they reappear hours later.