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Original poster

What are good ways to get dopamine?

33 replies

wiseoldsnail · 06/06/2024 19:15

I've realised I need to find new ways to get dopamine. Trying to break a trauma bond from my ex husband on my own....10 months separated and haven't dated anyone. I want to heal as much as possible before I do this.

I do know that I relied on dopamine from my ex husband who was always hit and cold...the usual you get from a narcissistic person.

I just need to make myself feel good and confident and get that 'rush' feeling from myself to myself and no one else.

I have a job interview tomorrow so I'm hoping that goes well! First time I've been back to work in years - I've been a full time carer for my autistic son.

OP posts:
bluecomputerscreen · 06/06/2024 19:45

exercise

combat sports are really good (ime) for switching the brain from flight to confidence (boxing, judo, fencing...)

broccolienthusiast · 06/06/2024 19:44

Long-distance running

Garlicker · 06/06/2024 19:41

I was in a similar state after divorce #2. I remembered that I love automated car washes 😂 so took my old banger for many good scrubs!

Walking and really getting involved with your surroundings is helpful for shock. This is a good time of year for it - lots of flowers to examine, birds to watch, swans on the river, etc.

Vigorous exercise.

Do things 'just for you' and savour them. One of mine is loafing outside a café, coffee and a brownie, just enjoy watching the world. Find some of yours.

Go to a supermarket and buy foods YOU like, all the better if he didn't like them, and new stuff you'd like to try. Go for it! Feel smug.

'Extreme' experiences give exactly the same dopamine hit. I don't know you and your situation, but some examples could be: big theme park rides; ski-ing or snowboarding; trampolining or aerial gym; diving off the high board; racetrack driving. If able, you could take a course in something like circus skills or judo for a regular boost and sense of mastery.

Cold showers.

Advising caution with this one ... A no-strings shag. It helps to over-write the ex and feel in charge of your sexuality. Choose your target and timing carefully, though. It should be fun!

Theyweretheworstoftimes · 06/06/2024 19:21

Exercise. Fresh air. Balanced diet removed processed food.

Original poster
wiseoldsnail · 06/06/2024 19:20

olderbutwiser · 06/06/2024 19:18

Do you just mean 'get happy'? Maybe just identify what makes you happy and what doesn't, and do more of the happy stuff and less of the not stuff? Am I oversimplifying here?

The thing is I don't know what makes me happy anymore as my whole world for years was constantly trying to please someone else. If I made him happy then I was happy. Very sad but true.

I should have maybe been more clear - I mean specifically in terms of trying to get over some trauma.

OP posts:
olderbutwiser · 06/06/2024 19:18

Do you just mean 'get happy'? Maybe just identify what makes you happy and what doesn't, and do more of the happy stuff and less of the not stuff? Am I oversimplifying here?

cardibach · 06/06/2024 19:17

As @CroftonWillow says - exercise.

CroftonWillow · 06/06/2024 19:17

Exercise. A brisk walk for half an hour is enough (try to be 'present' in your surroundings and not your thoughts for added sense of well-being). But any form of exercise.