To think that 4/5 year olds should not be learning about d-day deaths?

It's fact and the young children at the time lived through it. No I don't think they're too young to learn about history, which usually encourages empathy and respect. Xx

I’d ask the teachers about the content, I really doubt they will have been taught about the beaches turning red, but other kids might have talked about various things related to that.

I think teachers should be considering the needs of everyone in their class of course and tailoring the curriculum appropriately!

This would be considering the needs of a specific one or two. Not ‘everyone’. You can’t change a whole class curriculum because some kids are anxious.

Was this a reception class lesson or an assembly? D-day is the type of event that would have been used as an assembly topic rather than main curriculum when mine were in primary.

He’ll get over it. Move on

This is the sort of nightmare 2024 parenting that makes teacher’s lives hell, leads to anxiety in children, and deprives kids of the small moments which develop them as people, leading them into adulthood as nervous wrecks used to life in a sanitised jar.

I don’t think a 4 year old should learn about “France turning red” as he describes. It should absolutely be built upon with context which I could’ve helped with had I known this would be taught to him this year.
And how can you be sure this is what he's been taught? If he's able to turn the Queen dying into the Queen is coming yo get him he obviously does have a very vivid imagination. And could easily have turned a simple explanation that a lot of soldiers died into this idea of France running red with blood. Still very specific to him and far from evidence it wasn't age appropriate in general or shouldn't be taught at all.

How is your child coping at play time? Whenever I've been in the playground there's a load of children running around 'shooting baddies' in the playground, or 'investigating a murder'.
I'm sure what they hear in the playground is worse than what is being taught in the classroom.

It will almost certainly have been done in an age appropriate manner, using age appropriate materials. Schools have been covering such topics for decades, working with all manner of children. He won't have seen anything specifically scary or anything gory or even details.

The France being red - I assume he saw a picture of poppy fields perhaps.

He won't have been told of soldiers coming and grabbing children, etc especially as that's not an aspect of the D Day landings remembrance.

Unfortunately some children are more sensitive than others with quite active imaginations where they can turn what they've been told into whole new scenarios in their head.

You can turn some of his stories into new versions - the red France is easy to,address. Show him a red poppy and show a field of poppies growing close together. The poppies aren't scary. They are just flowers. And so on...

Ds was fascinated with WWII by that age, so if your dc had been in his form then statistics and information could well have come from him. When they did WWII in year 6 his teacher told me (luckily amused) that the other children kept turning to Philip and asking if things were correct. Apparently he was always right and the teacher wasn't, when checked.

I remember at that age he was playing a game with dd1 (aged about 10yo) and he wanted to play war and she said "but I don't like playing war. Could we play something where I'm neutral?"
Quick as a flash he said: "Yes, we'll play Pearl Harbour-you can be America."

In a lot of ways the interest he had was very much about the machines and the facts, but he did have a good knowledge and it wasn't ghoulish at all.

My DD is nearly 5 and we have discussed Jesus dying on the cross (Catholic school), the deaths of people we know, that the police will take mummy and daddy away if we don’t put her seat belt on, and showed her photos of her cousin who bashed her teeth out because she climbed on the side of the bath when her mum wasn’t looking (to discourage DD from doing the same). She doesn’t have nightmares; she’s a happy confident little girl.

Your son has specific circumstances that drive his anxiety. Why is that evidence that the material wasn't taught in an age appropriate way?

You can’t shelter your child from everything In the world I’m afraid. Him being told the queen died is just a natural part of every day life, it’s a normal part of growing up and is good for learning about his feelings.

Im sure they were taught about D day in an age appropriate way.

You can’t shield your child from every negative topic in life otherwise they’ll never form proper social skills or be able to handle their emotions.

Well, children will have been learning about D-Day and war in an age-appropriate way for decades. I remember doing it in school at a similar age and that was thirty years ago now.

I'd also say that lots of children love all this stuff - there's a reason why shows like Horrible Histories are so popular, after all.

If you feel the school should have given you a heads up then it's fine to address that, but not to go in and criticise the subject in general imo.

Here we go again

Kids are so screened yet so ‘anxious’

Because parents make such a big deal out of everything

it will have been done in a very age appropriate manner. It will form part of a much larger curriculum. It is an important part of this countries cultural history and should absolutely be taught.

But you must know his reactions aren't within the realms of normal - he needs outside help and support, not for you to go and criticise the school for teaching the standard curriculum
This. Your thread title is really general and about all 4/5 year olds. There's no reason for the vast majority of children not to learn about war in an age-appropriate way as it will have been. YABU on that. Are you BU about your specific child and whether he should have been taken out of the lesson given that the school are aware he was significant issues? Maybe not. But what would you want? There's no mention of war at all? They are told soldiers went to France and everyone came home and lived happily ever after? Neither are really plausible.

I'm with your DH.

The D doesn't stand for Disney and it will have been taught in an age appropriate way.

I'm with you OP, I don't think it's age appropriate to teach 4 year olds about war, in the same way that school wouldn't teach them about PIV sex at that age (even if these things would get talked about at home). I also don't think it's age appropriate to teach them about Jesus being nailed to a cross either but you can expect that at Easter if it's a C of E school.

This certainly isn't the first thread I've read where a child has been negatively affected by being taught about war at school in reception. I think teachers should be considering the needs of everyone in their class of course and tailoring the curriculum appropriately! It's called differentiation and happens all the time.

Yes, you've said the school are aware several times

But you must know his reactions aren't within the realms of normal - he needs outside help and support, not for you to go and criticise the school for teaching the standard curriculum.

Don't ever go out with dog for a walk ,go out to the petting zoo to feed the baby lambs Don't ever go to visit The Crown Jewells or Tower Castle the will rock you socks .