To think that 4/5 year olds should not be learning about d-day deaths?

He suffers with anxiety due to me having an illness that requires hospital appts, blood tests, IV etc every week/fortnight.
You have no problem sharing all that with him n though, even though you know it makes him anxious?

OP, maybe ask MN to edit the title so that it states your child has a diagnosis of anxiety that you are getting treatment for professionally, that he is under CAHMS, and that the school are aware of his particular issues.

Or at least remember to put these things in your first post if you post again.

Anyone would think 4 and 5 year olds lived through the War, lost fathers, uncles, whole families.
Oh... wait...

When my children grew up they were pad prats . One of them was born when husband was away at Christmas time no family around , it was heart breaking . But I do have to say one of my sons was very taken with the story of Bambi and Peter Pan .
We just had to get on with it as best we can .
Because it will soon be over and then we can get on with it as best we can .

I’m shocked you’re getting so little understanding. I totally agree children don’t need to know about this stuff till they’re older.

I agree. And you are being VU.

You have no idea what will upset the op’s child she’s already said he struggles with night terrors….

I find it hard to believe that most reception children are nt familiar with what a war is

On a separate note, if your ds is struggling with your condition, there's a nonprofit called the 3Dtoyshop, they send teddies with 3d printed medical equipment attached, that can help kids come to terms with their own, or their families medical conditions.

Worth having a look to see if they can make him something with an IV, and whatever other devices you have.

I've seen a lot of kids get a lot of comfort from their teddies. Worth a look anyway to see if you think it may help.

@Sue152
I'm with you OP, I don't think it's age appropriate to teach 4 year olds about war

Or asking our own parents and grandparents? My DF had memories of his sister missing a bomb when she crossed the street just before it landed. My DM's earliest memories were the Germans shooting in her house and her mum being held as a prisoner.

They didn't have a choice but to learn about war. Somehow our safest generation have the worst mental health.

@Sue152
I'm with you OP, I don't think it's age appropriate to teach 4 year olds about war,

Tell that to the Ukrainians, Gazans, Israelis and many, many other nationalities.

Wasn't so long ago it was an issue in N Ireland too.

They need to learn that the world isn't all about love and peace (without frighting them)

And it's clear the OP's son has other issues making it worse for him

You don't want him to know about d day but he knows his parent is seriously ill and goes to hospital all the time ? Why didn't you hide that from him If he is a worrier.

I agree with this 100%.

It’s odd, children are very very sheltered now yet their anxiety seems to be through the roof. Why?

It’s partly because they are both very sheltered and yet very exposed. They’re processing movies and online content without the capacity to make sense of it while parents protect them from real life stuff that they then also don’t understand. Throw in a dose of “resilience means nothing ever bothers you” and every difficult feeling becomes amplified and pathologised.

Yes some people experience extreme levels of anxiety and need support for that, but feeling sad, angry, upset, anxious is part of life, not something that needs to be cured.

Then that's what you need help addressing is there a support group for your illness and how to talk to young children?
Night terrors are a normal stage or do you mean nightmares?

Then you reframe it France was covered in red poppies. Soldiers wont attack you they are sent to protect countries where bad things are happening
Many 4 year olds and younger are dealing with death of lived ones experiencing it in pets, the plant I didn't look after etc are good starting points but you do need to talk about it pretending it doesn't happen sets them up to crash later on. Surely he's seen news, posters, the programme on cbeebies on remembrance day? Maybe it's more your fear he's picking up on.

It also shows that he wasn’t ready to learn about this as he’s put two things together and got something else.

I don’t think it means he’s not ready to learn about an important part of history, it’s our job as parents to help our kids when they put two and two together and get five, no matter the subject.

I’d have had conversations about no the soldier weren’t chasing children, the sea and beaches weren’t red - maybe the teacher meant X or Y. Or exploring why he thought what he did which would help you separate out what was said, his understanding of what was said and what was being driven by a different anxiety.

I often need to correct misunderstandings or explain something more fully, because kids get confused and their imagination takes over. My DS refers to our “random conversations” on the way to school which is usually me covering something he’s needed fuller or better explanation of - it’s just part of being a parent.

It’s odd, children are very very sheltered now yet their anxiety seems to be through the roof. Why?

Also when I was a kid I actively sought out things like horror films! I used to sneak downstairs to catch a glimpse of what my parents were watching when I was 5 or 6. As a child I watched the twin towers burn on the TV (as did my little brother who was 5), enjoyed Jurassic park when I was about 6, and my parents had endless conversations about the Iraq war and gory news stories without a second thought as to my presence. When foot and mouth happened there were pyres of dead animals around our village very visible.

I suspect there are many with upbringings like this, and while mental health issues are high in general, there just seems to be so many more anxious kids now than when I was growing up.

I can't imagine the school felt the need to give you a heads up given the anniversary. I imagine they thought it would be obvious. I have a 2.5 year old, the memorial service was on earlier and she was interested. So I explained it was to remember people who had died while looking after us, a long time ago.
So a 4 year old I would expect to be told much more detailed information.

We've shared it today in Collective Worship and the children were happy to talk about it.

We all learned this same stuff as children and I don’t know about you but Iv never met anyone as an adult who have said they were traumatised as a child when learning this history.

They can’t do this OP. It’s unrealistic. So many children now have special needs or mental health issues that teachers can barely cope with their job as it is. I’m sorry to say you’re expecting far too much.

What does he know about your illness? I’m quite unwell and my child sees me do 7 injections daily and also I have dizzy episodes where she knows to bring me my orange juice (type 1 diabetes with various complications)

We can't pretend that history didn't happen just to shelter those with mental illness/behavioral issues.
I suspect it's your attitudes that's contributing to his problems.
The youngsters who lost their daddy in WW2 didn't get camhs & liaison.

I think its tricky tbh. Even if the school had pulled him out, his peers would have still been discussing it around him. Plus you still can't account for what the rest of the class are learning/doing out of school. My 5 year old returned to school after the Easter holidays and talked about her great grandfather's murder during the Troubles because we'd come back from an anniversary memorial.