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AIBU?

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DH wants to Move us all to NZ…

589 replies

Notnowbarnaby · 06/06/2024 16:21

… because he’s had a job offer and he’s increasingly concerned about the threat of war. (We are in the UK).
we have one DS who is just about to start school in September and is currently getting settled into the idea/going to taster sessions.
im not currently working. I was self employed previously. I’ve had a look online and it seems like DH would get the visa for the job offer and we could apply for a NZ Family Visa and try to get residency there once there, but I’m unclear about whether I’d need to work in order to hold that Visa - I’m not against working at all and we agreed I’d pick up my self employed business again when DS goes to school but I don’t think that would be an option under the working requirements there.
DH keeps saying the company would sort it all but I think it’s such a sudden huge decision and I’m worried that he’s just forging ahead with it because of his anxiety about the world situation.
weve never even been to NZ. We don’t know anyone out there, I don’t know anything about it or the schooling system etc.
it’s so far away as well we wouldn’t be able to see friends and family regularly. I’m worried about how DS would adapt.
im not enthusiastic as you can tell but DH thinks it’s a smart move
AIBU to want to dig my feet in about this and say no?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
escarg0t · 09/06/2024 10:15

NattyTurtle · 09/06/2024 10:10

Oh, so we should have welcomed 'the plague' with open arms and let our citizens drop like flies, as they did in the UK? Okay then ........

Grow up.

Looks like we found one of the team of five million 😂😂😂

NattyTurtle · 09/06/2024 10:10

Horseebooks · 09/06/2024 09:41

A thing happened in Covid in NZ where everyone got really smug about being ‘safe’ and ‘keeping the plague out’. I’m sensing that worldview is still prevalent in some sections of NZ society. It wasn’t nice.

Oh, so we should have welcomed 'the plague' with open arms and let our citizens drop like flies, as they did in the UK? Okay then ........

Grow up.

OVienna · 09/06/2024 10:09

Also make sure the "very very very" good pay relative to whatever he is earning here is contextualised. Does it seem over the odds? Is it a new role or could he speak to the previous incumbent? What does he actually know about this company? How long have they been trying to recruit for the role? It could be that your DH does indeed have a specific niche skill but if not (or not really) I'd be asking many, many more questions about the job too. I'm thinking about various sectors this could be and also wondering why they would need to fly someone over from the UK and pay for a family visa when bluntly there is probably someone in Oz who could do it.

Calliopespa · 09/06/2024 09:51

Horseebooks · 09/06/2024 09:41

A thing happened in Covid in NZ where everyone got really smug about being ‘safe’ and ‘keeping the plague out’. I’m sensing that worldview is still prevalent in some sections of NZ society. It wasn’t nice.

There have been many times when nz’s remoteness has fostered a sense of safety. For example they were not bombed in the war. Yes, they lost soldiers fighting for the cause, and yes life was tough. But the war years were not blighted by evacuation or children or bombings.

The fact that nz has a combination of political and physical remoteness ( relatively speaking) while at the same time high living standards is something that will naturally appeal to many. To me that’s fairly axiomatic. I’m not sure why the sour grapes responses round that.

OVienna · 09/06/2024 09:49

@Notnowbarnaby

@FlapJacksy How did he come to have a job offer without this being pre discussed ?

I have been wondering much the same myself. I can understand it more if it's with his current company and he became aware of it internally or if he was talking to headhunters generally and this came up and they passed it by him (this has happened to friends of mine who ended up taking up jobs in various places for a few years.)

If he's gone out and sought a job in NZ under other sorts of scenarios and is just telling you now, I'd be pretty freaked out I didn't know this is where his head was and I'd think it wasn't really a 'what do you think' situation but 'this is what I'm doing, actually.'

Horseebooks · 09/06/2024 09:41

A thing happened in Covid in NZ where everyone got really smug about being ‘safe’ and ‘keeping the plague out’. I’m sensing that worldview is still prevalent in some sections of NZ society. It wasn’t nice.

NattyTurtle · 09/06/2024 09:36

changeme4this · 09/06/2024 08:14

No we won’t be. I’m rural nz and poachers are on the increase.

no one is going to line up at a supermarket when it comes down to starvation and best you read up on experiences overseas where horses were let out of paddocks to be driven down and cut up for meat… it’s not polite society.

Oh for goodness sake, the chances of it happening, in our lifetime at least, is so remote. Btw I'm also in rural NZ and there have always been poachers - I haven't heard of any increase in this area, although we are mostly full of dairy cows and crops here.

Calliopespa · 09/06/2024 09:35

MarshmallowChocolate · 09/06/2024 00:23

Everyone moving to NZ would have quite the impact driving up NZ's already out of this world house prices.

Truthfully though, that’s an aspect of why the prices are so high .

MarshmallowChocolate · 09/06/2024 08:43

NattyTurtle · 09/06/2024 07:31

Oh do give it a rest!! We could go on producing "evidence" from sources all night, and you can save yourself the trouble of providing links because I really can't be bothered to read them. I'm not planning on preparing for anything other than a big quake atm.

This has nothing to do with OP's initial enquiry, and you have no more idea than I do what would happen. Whatever does happen I would rather be here than in the UK - so I wish you luck. 😅

I'm not in the UK and it is relevant to the OP's original post if that's why her husband wants to move. I find it interesting to read but, if you don't, no big deal. It's easier to not think about it and there's probably no point, because it's not like we have any control over it anyway. What will be, will be.

I will never return to NZ. I don't feel it's a choice anyway. My child has a medical condition and returning would greatly reduce their medication and treatment options, since there is less available there. That is worth considering as you never know what is around the corner medically for any of us. I sure didn't anticipate it.

changeme4this · 09/06/2024 08:14

NattyTurtle · 09/06/2024 04:07

I do realise that no-one gets off lightly, but we are an overproducer when it comes to food so we will be okay there, although obviously medication would be a problem. None of us can really know what would happen, but the general consensus is that this part of the world is the place to be in such an event.

Let's hope that it never happens.

No we won’t be. I’m rural nz and poachers are on the increase.

no one is going to line up at a supermarket when it comes down to starvation and best you read up on experiences overseas where horses were let out of paddocks to be driven down and cut up for meat… it’s not polite society.

NattyTurtle · 09/06/2024 07:31

MarshmallowChocolate · 09/06/2024 06:53

The ability to overproduce food might be compromised, as might the ability to distribute food. Radiation sickness might be worse than being killed in the initial blast. It's naive to think NZ will continue functioning well in the event of nuclear war anywhere. Even if NZ was the safest place to be in the event of a nuclear war, it will receive huge amounts of fallout still. And the water supplies? You might find this study interesting:

THE ENVIRONMENTAL CONSEQUENCES TO NEW ZEALAND
OF NUCLEAR WARFARE IN THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE https://newzealandecology.org/nzje/1658.pdf

I agree though, let's hope it never happens.

Oh do give it a rest!! We could go on producing "evidence" from sources all night, and you can save yourself the trouble of providing links because I really can't be bothered to read them. I'm not planning on preparing for anything other than a big quake atm.

This has nothing to do with OP's initial enquiry, and you have no more idea than I do what would happen. Whatever does happen I would rather be here than in the UK - so I wish you luck. 😅

MarshmallowChocolate · 09/06/2024 06:53

NattyTurtle · 09/06/2024 04:07

I do realise that no-one gets off lightly, but we are an overproducer when it comes to food so we will be okay there, although obviously medication would be a problem. None of us can really know what would happen, but the general consensus is that this part of the world is the place to be in such an event.

Let's hope that it never happens.

The ability to overproduce food might be compromised, as might the ability to distribute food. Radiation sickness might be worse than being killed in the initial blast. It's naive to think NZ will continue functioning well in the event of nuclear war anywhere. Even if NZ was the safest place to be in the event of a nuclear war, it will receive huge amounts of fallout still. And the water supplies? You might find this study interesting:

THE ENVIRONMENTAL CONSEQUENCES TO NEW ZEALAND
OF NUCLEAR WARFARE IN THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE https://newzealandecology.org/nzje/1658.pdf

I agree though, let's hope it never happens.

NattyTurtle · 09/06/2024 04:07

MarshmallowChocolate · 09/06/2024 02:58

NZ would be seriously affected. In the event of a major nuclear launch, radiation will affect everyone around the world. No importing and exporting, medications not available because most of them are imported, food supplies impacted. NZ might be able to become insular and take care of themselves to some extent for food supplies, but it will be on a what is available basis. NZ would also not be free from invasion by another country that is also less seriously affected but needs resources. No-one gets off well in a nuclear event.

I do realise that no-one gets off lightly, but we are an overproducer when it comes to food so we will be okay there, although obviously medication would be a problem. None of us can really know what would happen, but the general consensus is that this part of the world is the place to be in such an event.

Let's hope that it never happens.

MarshmallowChocolate · 09/06/2024 02:58

NattyTurtle · 09/06/2024 02:43

Why do people think that deployment of nuclear weapons means the whole world would be seriously affected? Obviously nowhere is completely safe, but some places are safer than others, and I think you will find NZ is generally considered one of those places, and life may very well be worth living for longer than you imagine. Why would we care that the rest of you have gone (although guaranteed MN would be rather dull!). 😅

NZ would be seriously affected. In the event of a major nuclear launch, radiation will affect everyone around the world. No importing and exporting, medications not available because most of them are imported, food supplies impacted. NZ might be able to become insular and take care of themselves to some extent for food supplies, but it will be on a what is available basis. NZ would also not be free from invasion by another country that is also less seriously affected but needs resources. No-one gets off well in a nuclear event.

NattyTurtle · 09/06/2024 02:43

SwingTheMonkey · 09/06/2024 00:58

Do you really think Putin might drop one ‘tactical’ nuke and that’s it? Any deployment of nuclear weapons by Russia would result in mutually assured destruction.

Even if NZ survived, life wouldn’t be worth living.

It’s not something I’m worried about at all - if it happens, it happens. But showing off that you’d be left all alone, on a mostly uninhabitable, desolate planet, with a tiny population, isn’t a flex.

Why do people think that deployment of nuclear weapons means the whole world would be seriously affected? Obviously nowhere is completely safe, but some places are safer than others, and I think you will find NZ is generally considered one of those places, and life may very well be worth living for longer than you imagine. Why would we care that the rest of you have gone (although guaranteed MN would be rather dull!). 😅

xxwinterxx · 09/06/2024 01:07

SwingTheMonkey · 09/06/2024 00:58

Do you really think Putin might drop one ‘tactical’ nuke and that’s it? Any deployment of nuclear weapons by Russia would result in mutually assured destruction.

Even if NZ survived, life wouldn’t be worth living.

It’s not something I’m worried about at all - if it happens, it happens. But showing off that you’d be left all alone, on a mostly uninhabitable, desolate planet, with a tiny population, isn’t a flex.

I'm in NZ but if all out nuclear war ever happened i would definitely prefer to be in the instantly vaporized zone!

SwingTheMonkey · 09/06/2024 00:58

pollyglot · 08/06/2024 21:00

I can't believe the number of people in Britain who are sleepwalking into disaster. Do you really think that Putin is going to simply take the Ukraine and sit down, saying..."that's all I wanted, thanks"? A tactical nuke at the very least. the Baltic States...what then? Sorry, but we are indeed in the days of 1938. And I'd much rather be here in the South Pacific, where we can at least feed ourselves. There must be a reason why so much of our choice land is now owned by Americans fleeing the coming storm.

Do you really think Putin might drop one ‘tactical’ nuke and that’s it? Any deployment of nuclear weapons by Russia would result in mutually assured destruction.

Even if NZ survived, life wouldn’t be worth living.

It’s not something I’m worried about at all - if it happens, it happens. But showing off that you’d be left all alone, on a mostly uninhabitable, desolate planet, with a tiny population, isn’t a flex.

MarshmallowChocolate · 09/06/2024 00:23

Phantasmagorically · 08/06/2024 21:40

Because the 'end is nigh' brigade are tiresome. Another day I might laugh, but I've had a long week and this evening I just find it eyeroll-worthy.

It's okay that not everyone wants to move to NZ.

Everyone moving to NZ would have quite the impact driving up NZ's already out of this world house prices.

FlapJacksy · 09/06/2024 00:03

🥴

Friends Love GIF by The Bachelorette
pollyglot · 08/06/2024 22:19

Don't worry your pretty little head about me, dear. All is well in my world.

Phantasmagorically · 08/06/2024 21:45

I'm nodding kindly at you.

pollyglot · 08/06/2024 21:42

It's okay that not everyone wants to move to NZ.

And for that we are eternally grateful.

But it won't be long until everyone wants to. There are some advantages in being old and wise and experienced.

pollyglot · 08/06/2024 21:40

De gustibus and all that...
Nothing can be surer than the world will turn to shit, and in our lifetime.
Enjoy life on the edge.

Phantasmagorically · 08/06/2024 21:40

Calliopespa · 08/06/2024 21:37

Why are you so touchy if you’re so comfortable and so delighted with your lot?

Because the 'end is nigh' brigade are tiresome. Another day I might laugh, but I've had a long week and this evening I just find it eyeroll-worthy.

It's okay that not everyone wants to move to NZ.

Calliopespa · 08/06/2024 21:37

Phantasmagorically · 08/06/2024 21:34

'living life on the edge' means I'm not going to be getting myself in a tizzy over what Putin might get up to. Sorry if that bothers you.

you think the UK is doomed. you're happy to be in NZ.

And I'd rather be in the UK than NZ.

We're both happy.

Why are you so touchy if you’re so comfortable and so delighted with your lot?