DH wants to Move us all to NZ…

Given his mental health issues I expect if you did go he'd refuse to move back and you'd be stuck there. NZ is very strict about not allowing kids to leave when one parent refuses. Moving is unlikely to give him back his mental health. He is very likely to find another thing to be anxious about, that tends to be how extreme anxiety works. The actual mental health problem needs to be addressed with therapy and/or medication.

I wouldn’t be moving to the other side of the world with a clearly delusional man. Not a chance.

If there’s a war (big if), I’d want to be with my extended family, not miles away.

"New Zealand China relations – Parliament of Australia" https://www.aph.gov.au/About_Parliament/Parliamentary_departments/Parliamentary_Library/FlagPost/2023/October/New_Zealand_China_relations

If your husband is being paranoid, then he should balance it out @Notnowbarnaby

This

Thank you! As with all the threads about moving to NZ/Australia/USA/anywhere but the UK the nonsense on this one is off the scale.

As for The houses don't have heating (although it doesn't get as cold in the winter). - of course the houses have heating, or you actually buy a heater, it's just not central heating (and it certainly does get as cold in the winter in some parts of the country).

Our nephew and his wife went out there about 15 years ago. They were both in the police in the uk and got jobs in the police over there. They are very happy.

DH had short term contract in Oz about 25 years ago, so I visited and during that trip we visited friends and colleagues in NZ. NZ is very beautiful but extremely remote and the conurbations are much smaller than in Oz. Ultimately, I could live in Oz but NZ just too remote. However, being so far from family was too much.

I find the posts about being 'stuck' in NZ very strange. Its isn't Bangladesh. Its a beautiful country. Personally I would find it far more appealing than the UK.

DH was offered a job in Australia a few years ago and got cold feet about it and turned it down. There hasn't been a week in the last ten years that I don't feel regret for not going. I am very resentful that DH wouldn't try it.

I'd say give it a try OP. Go for a year or two and see how you feel.

I had always heard nz was right behind the nordic countries ( so right at the top and ahead of uk) for literacy etc.

Their educational qualifications are fully accepted by UK universities do I’m not sure where you are getting this from.

As a Kiwi, I'm going to bite my tongue about some of the very interesting opinions on NZ and NZers (like about our supposedly very right wing govt and the anti-english sentiments 😳) but I absolutely don't think you should move here, or anywhere away from your entire support network, unless you are 100% keen to move, which you clearly aren't. It's a huge undertaking and will be a massive massive adjustment even if you were super excited and enthusiastic about it.

China is in a stronger position than Russia. Our Australian relatives are very twitchy these days about the asians there and the effect on the economy both business and domestic.

He sounds incredibly paranoid. Does he mean war with Russia? The Russians can’t even subdue the Ukraine. What chance would they have against NATO? For the Russian army to invade the U.K., they’d have to run their tanks across the whole of continental Europe ffs. They’d have to defeat Poland, Germany and France before they got to us. Then they’d have to launch a cross channel invasion. New Zealand is more likely to be invaded by China.

Has he considered the possibility of China starting a war with Taiwan? I’d imagine that NZ would not stand aside.

There’s a woman on here who emigrated to NZ with her husband, split and is now stuck there until the child becomes an adult because the child is considered a resident of NZ and can’t be removed without dad’s permission.

I have lived overseas (not NZ) and you need to assess if the pros of NZ outweigh the cons of the UK. Lots of people want to leave the UK but different countries have different pros and you need to work out do you want to move to NZ or do you want to leave the UK which aren’t the same things.

Running away is not the answer. He sounds very anxious and will probably find something just as worrying there.

We seriously considered emigrating to Christchurch , at 53, with a nine-year-old after a three month stay, and with a serious business venture in mind. But after a long reflection, we decided against it because variously of aged ill parents, (then) low salaries and high cost of living. For me, additionally, there was a lack of deep history and culture which I would have missed. There's a heap of geography and geology in NZ (and it's spectacularly beautiful) BUT I would have missed the history and archeology that's all around in Europe. And since then, I have learned that I really, deeply loathe most of the Asian holiday destinations frequented by Antipodeans.

Your husband is being ridiculous 🙄.
But suppose there was a war. How would he feel about family and friends you had left behind being caught up in it?
Aside from that many other OPs have given you very good reasons why his plan is not a good one.

Meet an aunt at family weddings . They fly over on average every two years. They originally went out for a job with three small children. They never expected to stay but the years passed, children grew up, got married had children. So now they are stuck there. She admitted they do miss home but their life is now there and they expect to die there.

their children know nothing else now.

Myself and my partner moved to NZ from the UK two years ago and think it was the best decision we’ve made. I had done a working holiday for 6 months prior and my husband had also visited so we k ew what we were signing up for!

We live in Auckland (because of our jobs) which is the biggest city, but still small by UK standards and heaps of green space and beaches. Rural NZ is extremely rural but there are plenty of towns and cities which are not.

Cost of living:

• salaries are slightly higher here for both mine and my husbands industries.
• rent/house prices are a lot in Auckland, but still less than London/SE, and outside of major cities things are way more affordable
• supermarket shopping is more expensive and more useful to shop seasonally. Now UK food prices have gone up though it’s not as different.
• eating out, activities, petrol all similar to UK
• household bills are definitely cheaper here
• clothes/books/appliances/furniture are expensive here

Healthcare:

• if your visa allows you to stay more than two years you get subsidised healthcare same as NZ citizens.
• you do have to pay for GP appointments for adults (unless low income), amount varies from £15-40 but you get to pick your GP and it’s easy to book in and they feel way less rushed. Prescriptions are free. Hospital care is free.
• dentists are not subsidized
• anything caused by an accident is super well covered so GP appointments free, get more funded time off work, super easy to self refer for cheap physio (like £10 a session)
• currently pregnant and have found maternity care good so far - normal to have an early scan at 7 weeks, you get to pick your midwife who will be with you the whole time

Visas

• ease depends massively on your job but once one family member has a visa my understanding is you are all on the same visa and the other adult can work or not work in any capacity they want
• you do have to have a medical, but I think they mostly want to check you are fit to work and don’t have any infectious diseases

lifestyle

• we love the outdoors and how clean and beautiful it is here. No sewage in rivers/oceans
• public areas are so well looked after - there is always clean public toilets, drinking fountains etc
• just feels wayyyy less crowded!
• work/life balance generally better than UK
• more public holidays (12), minimum annual leave is 32 days (including public holidays) but obviously companies can give more
• quite car centric but there is public transport in the cities
• in Auckland at least the weather is so much better than the UK!

Nothing wrong with emigrating to NZ if it’s what you both want and you know when’s you’re getting into.

But my concern is the reason he wants to. The whole war thing is crackpot - what does he think is going to happen?!

On the other hand, I was FO brat and spent my childhood Country hopping which was a great experience in some ways. Not so great in others

If you don't drive, NZ is not a place you want to live. You'd be seriously restricted

Prone to earthquakes so it’s still dangerous there . I’ve been and it’s like stepping back to the 80s . Beautiful but abit weird

Well put.

Does anyone remember the name- I think I read this one too !

Ha. I was in a very similar position a few years ago. Interested to see what you decide!

I’d go. It’s an opportunity of a lifetime. NZ is beautiful. You’ll get away from the overcrowding and all the other things that are slowly decaying in the UK. Your son is more likely to thrive in NZ than the UK. As to your job and working more generally, you’ll find something - after all, partners do work.