DH wants to Move us all to NZ…

You all do realise that that Hague Convention isn't just enforced in NZ? Why don't all of you with your pitchforks warn women moving to the UK that they might be stuck there?

Oh don't be so bloody ridiculous. The problem of taking children out of the country is the same in many countries of the world, hardly unique to NZ. Women in NZ are not the delicate flowers they are in the UK, and we don't take everything so seriously (re the swimsuit picture). Lighten up - women in NZ overall appear to be more chilled out than women in the UK.

@TomPinch It's lazy, no mention of the problem of taking children out of the country and the swimsuit picture just confirms the mysogynistic attitude. Women in NZ are indoctrinated to accept low standards.

Interesting..

@Witchesandwizards I always mention to people the facts when people suggest these things- because no one thinks they will split up when they go to these places but a large percentage do - partly because being away from family and friends and job situations can cause extra stresses too . If you are somewhere like Spain or Sweden etc whilst it's rubbish it can often be worked out- I know someone doing this with wife in Spain with kids - guy in UK - but it's not the same when 'home' is across the other side of the world -

@Witchesandwizards and your warning is far far more important and valuable than my casual observation that I am more interested in history than geography. Eye rolling.

As others have pointed out this is does not matter. As I said in my earlier post, it the children's habitual residency that is crucial.

I know mums stuck here with British American, Aussie, Canadian ex's.

Honestly, if everyone knew the details of the cases I now know about, few would move abroad wth kids or have kids abroad if they didn't intend to remain in that country.

For example. Couple with kids live in country X but mum and dad are from country Y and Z. Dad moves to country A. Mum cannot leave country X to return home because that is where the kids are habitually resident...
Dad doesn't even live there any more but is a controlling mother f**ker and the Hague Convention allows this.

I was really happy to see my 2020 post referenced on here - people need to know this shit.

I’m sure they could find someone to dig you a four hole privy ?

I have immense respect for the seamanship and navigational skills of the Pacific and Polynesian tribes @pollyglot and the cultural legacy and art are interesting but my knowledge is limited to what I gleaned during two or three trips to Te Papa when my DC was 8.

Cook went further than Kupe too, when it comes to that.

This is amazing stuff, hats off to you

The voyaging of the Polynesians across the entire Pacific is one of the marvels of human achievement. The Maori did not simply rock up from Taiwan one fine day in the 13th century. Thousands of years of wisdom and knowledge went in to their movement to every habitable piece of land across the vastness of ocean. They have a fine tradition of art, oratory, epic. They made and used pottery until they no longer needed it, and even had writing on Rapa Nui. They have been called "the Vikings of the sunrise"...however, their voyaging was so infinitely more skilled and their voyages so much longer, that they're actually incomparable. It irritates the hell out of me when people display ignorance of their culture and history.

The Maori arrived (from Taiwan, according to DNA) in about the mid 13th century. So their history in NZ is not particularly lengthy either, and their built environmental legacy is fairly thin. I always wondered what the black fly ate before humankind arrived there.

And I take exception to your not-so-thinly veiled accusations of racism. Celts, Phoenicians, Romans, Nordic tribes and Norman invasions happened in the UK and across Europe, Byzantium and Asia... that's the deep broad span of history and science and literature I was referring to.

NZ has a fascinating history. i used to work as a field archaeologist, and find it simply amazing. Educate yourself before making such inane comments.

Crikey, that's quite the education gap there. 🥴

You mean deep historical history of white people. Which I guess is….fine if you prefer it to be white people all the way down, but that’s what you’re saying you prefer.

Brrr cold I'm currently in Thailand enjoying the heat

The mountains get snow, although we have a ski field nearby which is looking pretty bare right now. It's extremely cold at the moment however, so there is hope!

Oh I bet the Queenstown skiing resorts are not happy about that

This is the dilemma I will face if one or both of my children decide to stay in NZ. I cannot afford to retire in NZ, and I do not have the social support system to ensure that I won't be lonely - having moved here in my late 40s has given me little opportunity to make lifelong friends.

That said, all my 14 year old's friends are all talking about studying abroad and cannot wait to leave. Unlike my generation they know what's out there from social media and all recognise the limitations here in NZ. There just aren't as many opportunities or choices, and while now they are probably basing that on Taylor Swift missing NZ on her world tour, and not being able to get the latest cult makeup, eventually they will realise that this also applies to jobs, homes.......even boyfriends. Many will go to Aussie because it's so easy and a much more favourable wages to cost of living ratio.

It's a pisstake out of some of the comments here.

NZ is beautiful. But while I liked the people and the way of life (we were there for three months) I found the lack of deep historical roots unsettling. My mum grew up in a farmhouse mentioned in the Domesday Book, and it didn't have an indoor lavatory until well after the end of WW2. There was a four hole privy instead.

Yes, it is cold in winter - but it's hardly extreme!! What snow, we haven't seen more than a flake or two where I live for years, which is disappointing.

I don’t agree it’s OTT at all. If I divorce in the UK, I will end up with at least partial custody of my kids and I will eventually be able to live in the same country as my adult children and any grandchildren. In the OP’s situation, even if she manages to stay when her child(ren) is/are young, she will be trapped thousands of miles from her family with the risk of being forced to leave when her child becomes an adult.

The OP is married to a man who wants to impulsively move to the other side of the world because of the risk of the UK being invaded whether she wants to or not. That doesn’t sound like the most stable of marriages to me.

Only if you divorce - which creates custody issues regardless. Not saying it’s a good outcome but your phrasing was a little OTT.