DH wants to Move us all to NZ…

Can't agree with you on the Whittikers. :-) However you are right that wages are low, food is expensive, the houses aren't generally well insulated, and public transport might take a bit to adjust to if you're used to something as amazing as the service of the London Underground. Tall poppy syndrome is definitely a thing (but maybe not with sports?).

Every country has it's poverty and social problems.

Well, ermm, it's 16 deg c outside here, 5.15 pm, will be dark in 30 mins. I have the wood burner going, not because it's particularly cold, but because it's useful to have my vegetable soup (all home-grown) pottering for supper. Cuts the cost of power enormously. And I want a cuppa. Actually I have 3 houses, not one is cold, 2 have wood burners, one has a very efficient heat pump, and is passively heated by the huge glass doors with a view across the Pacific. Our tenants are very happy. Yes, everything is expensive at the moment, and I keep my own grown kids fed by boxes of produce from my garden. The produce grows on compost from my bin and free horse manure. I learned at my Granny's knee how to garden. I trade eggs for oysters with the fishermen across the road. My English relatives-in-law think we're very primitive. We want for nothing by careful management of the environment, and can do it because of our wonderful climate. And earthquakes? None here in the North. Volcanoes, yes, but they died millennia ago. Actually, the last earthquake I felt was in Norfolk in 2009.

If they live in Rotorua, they'll get cheap geothermal heating!
Yes, there are differences in many aspects of life, but Jesus, it is so much better in NZ

I'm in NZ and have oil heaters in rooms. It isn't the same kind of warmth that central heating provides, and you don't stay as warm. It's also incredibly expensive compared to running a gas boiler.

Go to NZ
It is a fantastic country. Friendly people, interesting native culture, outdoorsy, smaller classes, so many opportunities.
So many ignorant and negative people responding here. Particularly from those with no idea, no imagination, and a lot of ignorance

'The houses don't have heating...' 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Houses in southern europe don't have heating
Some places in the world don't have electricity!!!!

OMG!!

I think you'll find that's wrong -

BUT shock news - You can buy heaters if you want them!!

Hi OP, I'm in NZ.

It definitely has its downsides. The worst for me is the houses have no central heating and are FREEZING in the winter. I am constantly cold for about 3-4 months of the year. I just can't seem to stay warm, maybe because I'm slim. If you move out here make sure you're carrying extra weight to keep you warm in the winter months or in menopause and having hot flashes.

That or get a house with central heating - there aren't many and they are more expensive.

Also, the cost of living is eye-watering. Much more expensive than the UK. Don't expect to pay less than half a million pounds for a house and it's often a flimsy structure, akin to glorified shed. For half a million quid.

There isn't much going on/much in terms of culture and I often have the sense that I'm at the arse end of the world.

@tiredinoratia
So, it’s ok for you to heavily criticise, insult and condemn your host country but it’s not ok for others to react those accusations without you then throwing out “mean” and “bullying” cards?? We are just being honest…

If your husband wants to go, let him. Don't stand in his way.

If you want to stay, stay. The company will look after him while he's there and you can sort out home and kids.

In the unlikely event of war, you're better off here as it will be not only global but you want to be among friends.

I think you miss the taste of home. No country has the remedy for that, and I think you'll find not even the one you left.

I’ve been a trailing spouse. Admittedly only in a few European countries. It can be very hard to adjust even if you speak the language (which I did in a couple of the countries and learned it in a third). I didn’t have children at the time, which made things infinitely easier for dh and I.

Moving away can put a strain on a marriage, especially where children are involved. I saw the breakdown of a marriage, where the couple had 2 children and the wife couldn’t cope with being away from home and her dh doing longer hours. She clearly had some mental health issues going on and felt a lack of support, especially as he worked later and had evening work events from time to time and there was some travel involved etc. Up until that point, she had lived near her family and until recently he’d been in the army and she couldn’t cope with his not having set hours anymore. Recognising her inability to cope, he allowed her to return home with the children and appeared on the face of it very reasonable.

Your dh is the one with the mental health issues. He seems paranoid and appears to have gone down a rabbit hole. What next would be my question. Will he become more extremist in his beliefs? There is no way on earth I would move to a foreign land with my child under these circumstances, especially one, so far away from home. You will not be allowed to return to the uk if / when things become worse and you will be trapped with a child, who due to his young age will forever feel he is a New Zealander.

Innane? Or valid but contrary to your preference...

Don't be alarmed about the war scaremongering. But please do look at it for other reasons and form a balanced judgment as to whether your life will improve. Really do research and look at what is on offer job wise etc.

We lived in NZ and came back a few years ago. We are highly skilled so can move to pretty much anywhere but it is a huge huge huge regret we came back. Everything about this country is broken. An inflow of 1.4 million immigrants with no public services to support that.

We are lucky our kids are in excellent schools but we pay for private dentistry and also increasingly private GP appointments as cannot get appointments unless it is for children and urgent. Any hospital treatment unless A&E type stuff we now pay for. Our youngest needed a hospital investigation and late last year we got the appointment for October 2025!!. On top of that, I drove down one of the millions of potholes and caused £1500 damage to my car wheel and steering rack. It finished us off and we decided to look at returning to NZ.

We are well on with planning return now but my husband has an amazing job offer now in another country so we are having to mull that over. In any event we are deciding when to put the house up for sale as we don't want to rent before leaving.

Kids are ok with the move but they do still have memories and loved the outdoor life before.

Just be clear what things you like as a family and go from there. Yes there are downsides but frankly from talking to old friends we left behind, it is a lot better there.

Why not Aus....too hot!!

Well, that more than anything else tells me how worthless your opinion of anything is. 😂

Seriously, do you really think you are helping OP with your inane comments?

So is the bullying...

It tastes like shit. Can only get real Cadburys from Crackerjack and that's only when it's slightly out of date.

Trapped by circumstance a cautionary tale.

Funny how my honesty has triggered others cognitive dissonance because we may have different opinions...

Defensive and mean (get a plane out)

Name calling (whinging pom)

Case in point really...

OP. You do you but one of the best things about NZ is it's ability ro market itself as utopia to those not here..

In your shoes I'd want to hear the other side too not just the pollyanna story NZ is good at sharing.

Do your own research look up the bullying, tall poppy syndrome, poverty and deprivation stats.

Have a bar of Whittakers and chill out! 😀

I agree that the education system isn't what you'd move to NZ but as it's in the top third of the OECD (and still above the UK though the latter has improved) it's hardly substandard. It also has a different focus, meaning comparisons aren't that easy.

That would be my question too.

Granted, food is expensive. But it's certainly not boring here, we're out most weekends doing things (and we're not "sporty"). It's winter and I'm sitting at home wearing shorts and a singlet, I turned the heatpump off a while ago. Does it get cold outside? Absolutely, but so does the UK. And transport isn't crap everywhere, we have a great public transport system where I am.

We hated Australia, so we left. I know people who love their lives there though.

I came here 15 years ago because of my Kiwi boyfriend, then husband. We live in a Central Auckland suburb in a three bedroom house with a very large garden. Yes, being here has downsides, yes, the distance and its consequences are real. I do think that my children (11 and 14) have pretty good lives. Their schools are decent and not too stressful. They are out a lot just hanging out (the weather is generally good rarely too hot, rarely cold), play sports, go for bike rides, go surfing but also learn to play music instruments, do art etc. We have an amazing neighborhood several families with 2-3 children aged 6 to 16, all supporting each other, carpooling for sports practices, celebrating good things, helping when needed. This growing up together has been so good for them - learning how to share, resolve conflicts , work together.

Join a NZ expat Facebook group - get the lowdown from people who live there, not from people who've never lived abroad. I'm amazed at people here are saying they would never live abroad because they have no connections or family. I've lived on the other side of the world and it can be amazing and such an adventure! You can integrate with locals or you can live in a bubble with other expats in the same situation.

But I agree that your DH's reasons are not good ones and it sounds like it would be a permanent move for him.

Nah just honest...

I was thinking just the same thing. I can't imagine they will be missed - sounds like just another "whinging Pom". 😂

@tiredinoratia
Planes do fly out of NZ so I suggest you board one and leave. NZ would really appreciate that.