Pregnant to another woman’s husband

OP has a daughter (of unknown age but in school). She is also pregnant with a second child. The affair partner has a son (same/similar age to the OP's school-aged daughter). The fetus is a half-sibling to both the OP's daughter (through mother) and affair partner's son (through the dad).

The OP's daughter was bullied by the affair partner's son. These two kids have no relation to each other (though they will share a half-sibling).

Apparently.

Yeah

The wife must be a super sleuth to have discovered the affair and OP's identity when the husband was not in contact with her, had changed his number, given a false address and was not possible for her to reach via Tinder or any social media.

she did not protect her self enough not to get pregnant let alone what diseases he has

all intercourse (=vaginal intercourse between a man and a woman) can lead to pregnancy.
OP cannot eliminate that risk (except for certain fairly invasive surgical measures).

But is that really the yardstick we want to judge women by? "You did not get a hysterectomy and therefore did not protect yourself sufficiently"?

The person who could have prevented this whole shit show is the "father". But he chose to deceive her instead...

Jesus fucking Christ, what a way to mess up your kid.

Are you for real?

The man who had the affair with the op has a son. The son is bullying the OP’s daughter.

He probably wants to have 50% custody so that he can wriggle out of paying child support but you don’t have to let him. Let him go to court if he wants to - they are unlikely to grant this, especially as the two of you have never been married.

This won’t even be important until your child is at least 2. He won’t be able to have them overnight until then. Research shows that babies should be with one care giver the majority of the time.

I’m confused, your DD who is being bullied is your affair partners child, and it was her half sibling that was bullying her? Or a different child of yours was being bullied by your affair partners son, who is a half sibling of your DDs sibling?

Not a single person - apart from you - has mentioned abortion.

How can you give advice on a situation that, one way or another, is clearly not the way it's being presented?

I agree you should move and have nothing to do with him. Don't add him to the birth certificate. While in an ideal world a child has a right to know its father, it's a horrible situation for a baby to be born into and I think you need to weigh up the pros and cons here. Start afresh and raise the baby alone or put up with years of uncertainty and resentment. You have no idea how this family will treat your baby and your daughter will always be linked to her bully.
Move away and cut contact.

Did the school call you in via phone? I would do a subject access request to school to get evidence of that bullying. Then offer him contact at your house (suitable anyway when baby tiny). If he takes you to court you take your evidence that his wife is and other child are high risk of doing emotional even possibly physical abuse depending what type of bullying happened. The main thing is to not stop contact that will be what has you loose the most in court just insist on never at his

Why would she? I have no idea who any of the parents are at my ds school. He gets a bus and there is very little involvement with the school except for the odd parents evening.

Presumably OP didn’t have a vested interest in lying about her identity to cover an extramarital affair.

A random man she slept with turned out to be a loser go figure she chose him, she slept with him, she did not protect her self enough not to get pregnant let alone what diseases he has

she chose that

It’s all about your new child’s rights, not its father’s.The first thing your baby has a right to is financial support, so unless he starts now with generous voluntary support go straight to CMS.

The physical custody side is a nightmare given the bullying of your DD by his son and his wife’s presumed role in that. You need legal advice.

Unprotected sex?

I must have missed that update.

The man's child goes to your daughters school and you didn't know?

What choice? The choice to have intercourse with a man she believed to be single?
The "choice" to not suspect that he was leading a double live?
The "choice" to keep the baby instead of terminating the pregnancy because she should have known that the nice man she met online was leading a double life??

He deceived her.

He was the one that intentionally engaged in risky behavious (all intercourse can lead to pregnancy, it is therefore inherently risky) despite obviously knowing that he was a married father.

He also changed his phone number and made sure that OP could not contact him.
Which meant that she did not have the information (married, father etc.) required to make an informed "choice" in this situation.

She can definitely blame him for that. Endlessly.
Whether that qualifies her for victimhood is fairly irrelevant imo. But he absolutely screwed her over.

Wtf is it with people having unprotected sex with folk they barely know?

There's so little mention of your eldest child in this that it's scary. Or compassion for a boy who is dealing with his dad's emotional betrayal of his mum.
Can you trust this bloke to not lie and betray his daughter? He is riding rough shod over his family - it's all about what he wants.
Be very wary of him.

“Baby shite”? 😏

It's a mess. Fair enough you didn't know he was married but getting pregnant such a short time into a relationship isn't a very good idea. The number of unplanned pregnancies on here makes me think is there such a thing as contraception in this day and age.

I don't think the three of you having a discussion is a good idea. I agree you should move away. Why should your child and indeed the other child suffer because of irresponsible adult behaviour.

Unfair on Lisa Jewell, her plots are tighter than this!