Pregnant to another woman’s husband

Or more likely she found out about the affair and the husband told her who op was.

How vile to have these sorts of attitudes. Op is a “loose woman” therefore she deserves to have her children bullied?

op has done absolutely nothing wrong. She and her children are the victim of a horrible man and his cruel behavior.

This. I would move away. Don't put his name on the birth certificate. Let him make the effort to trace you.

What if you choose not to put him on the birth certificate? I wouldn't. He sounds like a massive twat and the wife will hate your child. This is already a toxic situation. I would just disappear. I realise that's not practical for everyone.

Why did a random woman find you on fb and meet you for coffee???

YABU

If you didn’t want him being part of the child’s life/going into his home then you should have not gone through with the pregnancy or just not told him/his wife about it.

Surely you knew that by telling him/his wife that it would open a can of worms and there would be a lot of tension and issues around it.

I do think for the child’s sake that you did the right thing by telling him but you can’t be surprised that this is going to cause you issues and will carry on causing you issues for the foreseeable future.

The only thing you can do now is accept that this is going to be difficult and try and work with him to co-parent as best as possible.
I would try reaching out to the wife too and do the same.

The school is who you need to get on to about the bullying and I wouldn’t move her yet but I can see things getting more difficult for your current child when the baby is born and unfortunately if the school can’t get on top of it then the last resort may be to move her.
I definitely wouldn’t do it yet though.

Aren't they rules on MN about accusing people of trolling or lying? If you don't believe it why waste your time commenting? I don't see what's implausible. Plenty of women get pregnant from a ONS and the odds of them being known to each other (kids at the same school etc) aren't that slim if they are in the same area. I don't see why someone would give falsehoods if they genuinely want advice. What would be the point?

or channel 5?

i dont think i would watch it

Exactly this

Sounds like the script to a Netflix drama.

If this is real then I think the married man is talking about joint custody so that he doesn't have to pay CM and perhaps the wife doesn't want you to get any of the family money either. If they were to go for any custody I'd show evidence of the son's bullying and how you think the baby would not be safe around him or welcome in the home.

but the wife also and their child,
all very extreme

Plenty of women have ONS and keep the baby.

If OP knew what was to come she might have decided not to but all if this drama is down to the man.

Why would you have a child with a man you barely know? You've messed Up 2 children's lives. If you found out you were pregnant in February and found out he was married in the April there was still time to make a decision about proceeding with having this child.

How did his wife randomly send you a friend request? What did you think would happen when you told her?

No one comes out well in this. Another child born into nonsense setups.

If it’s even real. Really hope for the children’s sake it isn’t.

You are making it more confusing than it is.

I would have liked to have been in on the school meeting though.

I wish people would stop telling her to move away. Her daughter has a relationship with her father, she went to stay with him for days after the school incident. She can’t move her daughters school without her dad’s consent and why should their relationship be damaged when neither of them has done anything wrong?

Er, you're the one who thinks this is plausible!

How old are both kids? Fancy telling the son who the daughter is.

Assuming he didn't tell you he had son in your daughter's year before you met?

What add the odds.

Righto.

Gosh, what a tale of woe.

He lied about his name? And she never ever went to even look at his social media profiles while they were dating? And having covered his tracks so brilliantly and disappeared off the Internet to OP, his wife still discovered both the affair and OP's identity? James Bond in the dating world and Inspector Clouseau at home?

I don't know why you're so determined to believe all this - you've even admitted the dramatic school showdown is dodgy, to say the least - but I guess at least that makes it all good for something.