Pregnant to another woman’s husband

Agreed! Women who don’t take responsibility for their own contraception are also arseholes!

Relationship? Since when and 'woman makes bad decision' is now making her 'victim' yeah right

I'd be interested to know how that meeting with the headteacher went. Did they call you all into the same meeting, knowing the reason behind the bullying?

Suspect this is just a fabricated story, but provokes a nice debate

She could have predicted what followed when his wife contacted her. Why she ever mentioned the baby to her is crazy, talk about creating drama for herself, did she think it was going to be happy families. Now her poor daughter is being bullied, sometimes it's just better to keep your mouth shut and get on with life.

I've been your little girl, when I was 8 my mum had a one night stand with the next door neighbour. She got pregnant but had a miscarriage. He had a wife and three daughters who up until this point were my friends and school mates. There mum and dad stayed together but the daughters were told they weren't allowed to be friends with me anymore. It was horrendous for me and like your daughter it wasn't my doing.
You can't undo any of this but for your daughter's sake I'd move her to a different school. I get his wife is angry but it's ridiculous that the anger is being directed at you but mainly a little girl, how has her husband come out of this completely innocent baffles me.
As for the new baby, I'm guessing for the first year you can argue that contact needs to be in your presence because of breastfeeding, hopefully during that time the wife comes to her senses and leaves her cheating husband or realises that none of this is the fault of the children.
Speak to a solicitor, it's not ideal that you're having a baby in this situation but the guilt really needs to lie with the married man. I wouldn't want to send my baby to his dads if I knew his wife's resentment was being aimed at my children.

It seems like they disproportionately occur because people claim it was a contraception failure to avoid getting flack and having their thread derailed (fair enough)

Both parties should be using contraception. The likelihood of both failing and also it resulting in pregnancy based on that one incident is pretty low

That is not my experience! There is no way he will get 50/50 when the child is a baby. That would not be in his/her best interest. Particularly if the child is breastfed. Courts see situations like this very differently to ones where the parents were married or living together when the child was born. That’s what my solicitor told me.

Lovely bit of victim blaming there. Just once more for those who are hard of thinking.....op didn't create the situation. She had a relationship with a man who told her he was single. How on earth could she have predicted what would follow?

So you’d be handing your baby to a man you barely know ( and who lied, or at best failed to tell you the full truth of his status) his wife who has a reason to dislike you ( even though the big fail was on her husband who she obviously hasn’t booted out) and a boy who has bullied your dd and has huge reasons to be angry with his father and subsequent baby. Does that really sound like a safe thing to do?
Personally I would be changing address, as far away as possible and making sure he couldn’t find me. You’ve chosen to have the baby alone and I’m afraid it really will be 100% alone.

Presumably, OP is a grown adult, not a teenage girl

You can't force someone to be a parent, unfair as it may feel. If you're blanked by the dad, you don't expect him to be father of the year. If he's already married, this goes 10x

All logic goes out the window here at the whiff of a MM and an OW. Even though I’ve seen posters write manuals for OPs to uncover evidence of cheating.

The man went as far as staging a home so as not to alert the OP he’s married. He’s a seasoned liar and cheat at this level of cunning.

Of course it’s easier for a wife to find the OW than vice versa. And given how skilled he was at eluding the OP, this is likely not his /his wife’s first rodeo.

I feel so sorry for your daughter, what a mess you've created. How did his wife know to contact you, poor children.

I think that PP was being sarcastic!

Not what I said and you know it

So men are only arseholes?

Surprise, surprise yet another elaborate tale in which the OP never returns.

There must be some bloody bored people on this platform these days.

You took a risk by having a child with a man you don’t really know.

Stop blaming women for arsehole men

Absolutely Correct.

Didn't happen. Do better with your story, OP.

Both sets of parents in the same meeting immediately after a bullying incident?

Yeah, THAT happens.

This thread seems very far fetched. OP why did his wife contact you on Facebook? Did she find out what he’d done? How did she find out?

Why on Earth would she tell her kids to bully your DD? She’s an innocent child.

This.

Oh, I think someone could!

@KimberleyClark

My mum wouldn't have recognised all the dads of kids at my school unless I was friends with them. Lots of dads never did school pick up - if they weren't friends and he didn't do pick ups then it very possible she had never seen him before in her life 🤷🏻‍♀️

What a horrible man.

I would want to shift my daughter from the school and never have her attend the same school as the man's son. It would be ongoing whispers for her.
I would also want never to have to bump into him.
Half an hour or more would be perfect.
Your exdate will perhaps persue contact and he should be contributing to the child's upkeep for the next eighteen years.
What would happen if you were to die?
Maybe it is best for him to sometimes have the child visit his home. That's if his marriage survives.