To feel uncomfortable in working class pubs as a woman of colour?

My friends do not notice, as I said before it does not affect them so why would they go out of their way to look out for me as a WOC.

Fuck.....!

They are not your friends. I would certainly not have let you walk in there by yourself if I had ANY reservations about your treatment if I knew what kind of place that is.

But then I have a biracial child who is now an adult so... I've had some horrible racist things said to me about it, including people dropping me like a hot potato on finding out. Good. I wouldn't want them in my life anyway.

So sorry you went through that OP.

Haven't read the whole thread but the poster talking about hearing about them talking about Enoch Powell's hateful rhetoric still in this day and age gives me the creeps.

I understand now. (I was confused but see you’ve clarified you are non-white) Yes I think that as a white woman I would never even notice the only non white woman/person in a pub or anywhere. My DS’s GF taught me a lot about privilege and perspective.

This is why I was confused…..

@helpfulperson she was with other women. She was the only person of colour. How does that make it hard to know what it was?

Sadly there is a number of reasons why you would be made to feel uncomfortable walking into a pub and race is just one. Even being a woman can illicit this response. Or as I discovered, just not being a regular or 'known' was enough to have people looking at me and asking if I was lost. It's hard to know which it was in any given situation.

Tbh I’m white and there are quite a few pubs I’m not comfortable walking into - either because it’s got the “ working men’s club vibe” - everyone’s wearing trackies and is half cut or the pubs where you walk in and evidently it’s a locals pub and everyone stares at you

Sorry this happened to you.

Sadly, there are still many places where people of colour and women are not welcome and these include working class pubs.

I tend to avoid any pub that looks a bit basic or down at heel, has large TVs, England or Union Jack flags displayed or pictures of food outside mentioning bargain prices.

Oh god just seen I wrote white instead of non-white. Sorry! What an idiot.

My husband and adult kids never notice when I am the only non-white person at events. Whereas I do. It’s not always a bad thing at all, but I instinctively clock when I am the ‘only’ one. And I am surprised they don’t clock it too. Because they have never experienced racial discrimination I guess.

where did I say I am white?! Did my menopausal brain get it wrong again?!

@TowerFanNeeded Your husband is white, you're white and your kids are mixed race??

Who don’t?

My husband is white and my kids are mixed race but look white. We often go to places and I notice that I am the only white face. They don’t even register it.

Exactly. Sometimes it is just a look or change of tone. It is subtle; I have experienced it and would not bother explaining to others. Esp on somewhere like here where some people fall over themselves to tell you it was not racist because someone was rude to them once in Wetherspoons too.

@Dreamsaregood I just thought of you & this thread because I’m in a WC pub on my own for an hour while my child does a hobby. There is nowhere else nearby and most parents wait in their cars, but we get the bus. I’m white, have worked in WC pubs myself, albeit with more diverse clientele, and I still feel a little uncomfortable - not quite enough to bother me once I’m in and settled at a table in the corner, but borderline. I hadn’t thought about white privilege in this situation, but I have now - thanks for posting and I hope your friends listen to you if you decide to tell them.

As a gay woman, I feel the same. Avoid them like the plague...

You know as a woman you sometimes just get an instinct on who is a creepy man and one to avoid? But you couldn’t really explain why.

its the same when we experience racism. Not much has to be said. I just know.

And when you experience this a lot sometimes you cba to fight it or say something. Otherwise it’s exhausting.

So it's what you think? Not what he actually said?
Did you put him straight, did your friends. Anyone in my group would have done, regardless of colour.
Infact a couple friends of colour are the most confident and outspoken in the group. If we couldn't handle these gutter types we would given those kind of pubs a miss.
You should have told your friends how you felt and all left together straight away.

If I were you I’d speak about it to your friends. One of my best friends is black but a couple of times she’d talk to me quite aggressively about how a certain white woman had behaved towards her in a car (they were both driving) and after a while I said to her, look, just tell me honestly about your experiences, if you’ve been racially abused, so she did.

It’s interesting though as she’s recently got to know another black woman friend of mine, but in this case they’re both Afro Caribbean and also are both working class as children but have gone onto have very good professional jobs, they both enjoy speaking to each other and saying “you know….” especially with regards to certain issues and incidents some involving race in both a positive and negative way but there are certain things which though I can empathise with I’ll never completely understand, but I do listen.

I’m not! I responded to a post that all working class pubs are unsafe for a poc, I disagreed and found it insulting that all working class pubs should be lumped into the same category as the pub the op felt unsafe in. It is insulting just like lumping all poc the same, they are not! For that I was called a tit and that all working class people are poor. So I’m expected to just ignore that ignorance and name calling?

This is part of racism that no-one really acknowledges but in my humble opinion is perhaps the most damaging to mental and emotional health in the longer term - that you cannot exist anywhere outside of your house without that sense of acute awareness. Need to pop in to the local supermarket on your way home from work - somehow the security guard is watching you so closely he hasn't blinked in at least 10 minutes, need to catch a train to some work event somewhere - God help you. In your situation OP, heading to a bar/restaurant/ pub ostensibly to have a good time with friends - all of a sudden for some strange reason the vibe just somehow changes, you can sense it as you walk in, as you find your seat, as you (try to) order, as you're sitting and supposed to be 'enjoying yourself'.