Going partying with a group of strangers then back to hotel room?

It is good he is allowed off the lead sometimes

You're the one who encouraged him to go on holiday by himself. Did you think he'd sit in a hotel room and twiddle his thumbs the whole fucking time?

I'm thinking this kind of falls under the category of "Be careful what you wish for."

"Go away! Have fun!!"

"I am having fun!"

"But you are not having the sort of fun I approve of...stop having fun"

I don’t see the problem. He’s in Tenerife not backing solo in Outer Mongolia. Its the sort of place where nightlife and socialising is a priority.

Me and a mate when to Lanzarote last November and chatted to loads of people including a lady on her own who joined us most days/nights. One day my mate overdid the AI bar and fell asleep after dinner so I went to the hotel disco bar and joined a family group we’d spoken to round the pool. And the mum added us on FB to tag us in her photos - we’re over 50

The poor sod chat win. You encourage him to take a solo trip then get the hump that he’s mixing with other people rather than pining in the corner

What did you think a single man would do in Tenerife every night?

*Appreciate he’s not technically single but you sent him off on holiday on his own. Funny choice to go to Tenerife when it’s quite a lively (some would say tacky) resort bursting at the seams with stag and hen dos at this time of year.

You should have sent him on a yoga retreat in Outer Mongolia if you wanted him to not speak to other holiday makers. He’s in his 40s not 90s.

How was it risky? Sounds spontaneous and fun?
friends can be made anywhere & everywhere, you sound a bit cynical

Eh? I've been to Tenerife by myself. What was I supposed to be doing??

It's because he's on his own. Good on him. Sounds like he's having a great time and you are jealous. Funny thing is, you suggested to go on holiday.

His holiday sounds fab! I’m quite jealous …..

So you wanted him to go on holiday and quietly pine for you? He sounds like he had a laugh, you can form fairly intense friendships on holiday, situationships that don’t necessarily have any longevity when back to normality but are fun at the time.

Hard Rock Hotel in Tenerife. That was never going to be the place for a week of silence and solitude. Neither of you sound very comfortable with this choice of holiday so I struggle to understand why he booked it or you encouraged it.

I cannot get my head round this. Poor bloke cannot win.

You suggested a solo holiday.
Most people would suggest a couples holiday.

Very few people are willing to go away by themselves and bravo to them

He is doing a brave thing going away by himself and is making friends to do things with. It's not weird or strange.

It sounds fun. Everything has some inherent risk. He sounds sensible and transparent.

I’ve not hear the term disco since secondary School in the 90s! Appreciate I’m missing the point.

He was having a good time, on holiday!

But he said he was anxious about being on his own? The solution to that is to meet/chat with people.

I love how he says he's so anxious and yet he's making friends right left and centre and hasn't even found time to sit on his own balcony yet he's so busy socialising.

It is quite a short relationship. I'm not even too clear why he needed your encouragement to go away alone.

Do you generally see him as a bit childish, or is this a new realisation that is dawning?

I do sort of see what you mean about that bit. I had an ex who loved travelling and was forever meeting people and seeing them on Facebook and believing they were now great mates, and I always felt almost a little embarrassed because I assumed they actually found him quite boring and weird and were just being nice out of politeness.

Really I suppose this was my issue not his, or theirs. I didn't really respect him - and it's good therefore that the relationship ended.

I do wonder if your feelings of discomfort here - because you do sound like you are almost embarrassed by how he is behaving - indicate that you and he aren't right for each other.

It's early days. Maybe best to end it now, before you get any further in.

like, it seems risky going back to their hotel room and he just says if I was with him he wouldn't do stuff like that, but he was anxious and wanted to fit in so was easily led

Lots of guys wouldn't see that as risky though. And, it sounds like he was having fun. Don't put make him feel self conscious/like he's weird to be making friends while he's still on holiday.

The childlike nature of his behaviour, and calling all these people 'friends' and adding them to Facebook.

I'd chat to people maybe but I wouldn't consider them friends or have them on my Facebook.

this is a you issue OP. He’s met some nice people, had a great night and added them on FB to keep in touch. Why does that bother you? Why do you think that’s childish? I think it would be worth looking at your own feelings towards yourself and friendships, because nothing he has done is abnormal.

You said yourself he’s had a stressful year, don’t add to it.

I was about to say something along these lines. Years ago a couple of friends and I got chatting to some South American students in the pub, they were having a party and insisted that we total strangers come up to their flat and drink tequila. It was fun and nobody got assaulted or robbed. Not everyone is as uptight as the Brits.

What's the issue with going back to their room? There is also nothing wrong with him seeing them as friends.

Just because you wouldn't class them as friends or add them to FB doesn't mean that he's in the wrong. He is on holiday- let him have the holiday he wants.

Also, I know that generalisations about other nationalities aren't always welcome but this "a Spanish group who saw him sitting alone and I introduced themselves and invited him to the disco" sounds like fairly normal Spanish person behaviour. Its nice.

Just seems a bit risky going to someone's hotel room with a group of people you don't know, although it is a large chain hotel (Hard Rock).

It feels risky to me but (and I hate saying this) it is a bit different for guys. A single woman being spotted on her own and being invited by a group up to one persons hotel room sounds like the start of a true crime documentary. I know of course guys can also get robbed and worse but it isn't the same. I think also, if he was on holiday and wanted to cheat he could at any point of the holiday really. He wouldn't need to tell you. If you encouraged him to go on holiday by himself clearly you trust him not to. I don't think its reasonable to then be concerned by him socialising/making friends. It would be pretty miserable otherwise.

He has gone to a party hotel and then gone partying? Not sure what you expected tbh