Going partying with a group of strangers then back to hotel room?

Poor bloke - you tell him to go on holiday alone , then cross examine his every move finding much deeper meaning than is there .
Then you want to finish with him and spoil his holiday !
You sound very intense and hard work .

Poor bloke can't win. He's probably coming across intense to reassure you that he cares, becuase you are coming across as jealous and desperately lookng to pick a fight.

As PP say don't break up with him whilst he's on holiday, that would be extremely cruel. If you're hell bent on ending things be kind and allow him to enjoy what remains of his holiday.

I’d say a big ‘so what’ to all of this - he’s allowed to change his mind and fit in with whatever is going on around him.

But it does seem like you’re looking to find fault in everything he does so it really is better Eve things with him soon as he gets home rather than carry on like this

I think it's a little odd to tell him to go on holiday, then get annoyed at what he does once there. How would you feel if he told you to go on a trip then questioned your behaviour when you did? What did you expect or want him to do? I suggest when he comes home you split up as you don't seem to like him much (you describe his making new friends on holiday as 'childish'), or trust him. In the meantime, let the man enjoy himself.

Mr Monkey is a bit like this. He is an extrovert and will happily make friends wherever he is. I left him for a few hours in old school locals bar in France watching the football, three hours later he was firm friends will all the customers and arranging to meet up to watch the next game.

His social media friends lists are also full of randoms he has met. It took me a while to understand it but it is just who he is and there is no threat to us our our relationship. In facr I like it as I need a fair amount of alone time on holiday so I know I can go off to a museum or whatever and leave him happily doing stuff.

You encouraged him to go on holiday alone so, bar cheating, you don't really get to say how he spends his time.

Gosh you sound like hard work. He went out with some people, got chatting, had a nice time and added them on Facebook. Thats really not that weird - I've done that on occasion after a night out etc... especially if you've had a drink you'll feel like you're best friends forever (even though you know you'll probably never see them again). This is very much a you problem and you're the one who sounds quite controlling here.

Oh, and if you care even at all about him, don't ruin his holiday by breaking up with him there

At least wait until he’s back from his holiday!

You sound intense and as though you’re deliberately looking for fault to cause a fight and end things. Just end it and move it.

FWiW I have people on my Facebook I met randomly on holidays and ended up partying with. It’s a normal thing to do. Granted I was always with at least one other friend but meeting people abroad is very normal!

It's normal to make holiday friends when you holiday alone.

Years ago I was backpacking alone in South America. I made some "friends" and went to their place. We ended up travelling around together for a bit and are all still friends today. I didn't sleep with any of them!

I think you're massively overthinking this OP. What did you expect to happen when he went on holiday alone? I've had masses of Facebook 'friends' over the years that I've met on holiday and then usually never seen or spoken to again.

As for him being controlling, he's not the one who suggests he go on a lone holiday and then tries to dictate what he does and who he speaks to while he's on it...

I think splitting might be for the best as you don't sound at all compatible.

You either trust him or you don't and it's quite condescending to say that what he's doing is "childish' when it's actually fairly normal behaviour.

And this.

It's completely normal.for people - NT or ND - to meet people on holiday.

I'm planning a solo holiday and hope I find friends like this!

You've said he thinks he might be autistic so I'm going to respond from that position. Because I'm autistic and know a lot of autistic people. So I'm going to respond from my experience.

I do think it's strange you encouraged him to go on holiday alone and were then surprised he got talking to people.

Before he left, his plans were the pool, beach and "excursions".

He is allowed to change his mind.

I think you felt reassured by his suspected autism and imagined that he would be slow to socialise, if at all, and the fact he did it quickly and easily has unsettled you.

Many autistic people struggle with social interactions. This can look like avoiding people and not making friends easily and/or attaching to easily and feeling like people are 'friends' before getting to know them properly.

I struggle with proper friendships but have no difficulty making short term, sometimes quite intense connections with people who can feel like friends when they're not.

Some people use the word friends to describe people they have known for a while and get on with well others use it to describe people they know.

I don't know why you think he was at risk unless you consider him to be very vulnerable in some way - eg many people with autism are very trusting - I had one friend who described everyone he ever spoke to and was superficially nice to him as a friend. A lot of the time, these people were just looking for someone they could benefit from financially he ended up losing a lot of money by giving it away to people he barely knew.

He is not at risk interested way a woman would be by going into a strangers room.

He is not more or less likely to cheat because he is autistic. Some autistic people wouldn't ever cheat because its wrong and it wouldn't even occur to them to do so. Others wouldn't realise they were being inappropriately close to someone and that their behaviours might suggest they were interested in someone when they weren't - some of those might find themselves in a position they didn't know how to handle or extricate themselves from when others would or even realise they should. Others might cheat because they have very poor boundaries or a lack of object constancy (out of sight out of mind). Others might seek it out because that's who they are.

He can add someone on fb without thinking he is going to see them again. That isn't a lie or a half truth.

then he said (as usual) that he thinks my reaction was just "waiting for me to make the slightest mistake so you can flip a switch and push me away

A lot of people do that. Do you do that?

I have tried to split with him recently because I just don't think we're compatible, but he gets quite intense and starts begging me to stay, saying stuff like the above.

This is a you problem. If you don't think you are compatible then end it.

Admittedly, I'm talking about in my 20s here, but I've been on a few holidays on my own, some even when together with my now husband. Making friends at bars or hostels or at the pool is totally normal and I still have some of those people on my Facebook, even though we haven't really spoken since the holiday where I met them 🤷‍♀️ I also didn't cheat on my partner with any of them and nor did my partner with the friends he made when he went on holiday without me.

You either trust him or you don't and it's quite condescending to say that what he's doing is "childish' when it's actually fairly normal behaviour.

You do sound incompatible!

More importantly, you do understand that you are allowed to end a relationship at any time? Why are you letting him dictate this as if you're a piece of kit he's bought down at Halfords? What has he threatened to do?

No wonder he needs a holiday.

You’re being weird and unreasonable.

What did you expect him to do on his holiday… I’m really serious with this question? This sounds perfectly normal

It feels like you are sending him on holiday (and not going together) but expecting him to have limited interaction with shine he meets, which is a bit odd. To some degree it goes with the territory. It’s all out of control for you but that goes with the territory.

What on earth did you expect him to do on his own in a lively holiday resort?
Totally normal to meet people at a bar
Totally normal to go back to their room for drinks
Totally normal to think of them as friends
Totally normal to add them to social media

Your reaction- not normal

You're being ridiculous. People always make holiday friends in these kinds of places. Goof for him.

you either trust him or you dont

dont send him on holiday then question everything he does

next time go with him