Going partying with a group of strangers then back to hotel room?

I'm 41 and that's the sort of thing I'd do to be honest.

It sounded like judging to me. Based on whether someone knows someone well or not. But whatevs.
Have a nice day.

He sounds like he's just trying to have fun on holiday! Everyone has some anxiety about being alone in a social situation surely? But he's making the most of it while he's there and meeting people/having fun.

I'd chat to people maybe but I wouldn't consider them friends or have them on my Facebook.

A lot of people do things like this when they go somewhere by themselves. Granted they’re not exactly a friend but that doesn’t mean a friendship won’t develop.

It’s not exactly the same but I went to a concert by myself some years ago and I became really good friends with someone I met there! If we didn’t exchange social media accounts at the time, I wouldn’t have known how great of a person he was.

Let him enjoy his holiday and if you do want to end things with him, don’t use this as an excuse as to why you want to break up

I would be pleased he was having a good time.
He's a grown man, it is up to him to risk assess the situations he gets himself, not yours. And if his judgement is off because he is worse for drink, then so be it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Were you expecting him to hole up in his room for the holiday?

I am not judging. I am stating an opinion. As I am entitled to do. You do not have the right to tell me to keep my opinion to myself.

He’s out having fun and making some friends.

Lots of people do this.

Leave the poor guy alone and stop trying to create a drama when there isn’t one.

Sounds like hes having a great time. What's wrong with adding new pals to Facebook?
I don't really get though, why you didn't have a holiday together

40 yo and behaving like this. Urgh I would dump and move on. He sounds intense, and with a whole lot of baggage too.

You can keep your judgement to yourself. If he feels a connection with them, how are you, or his GF, in a position to tell him they aren't his friends?

I think it's a big stretch to refer to someone you have only just met as a " friend". You know nothing really about them apart from you have been able to enjoy their company on a social occasion. That's not friendship. It might develop into friendship but it really devalues the meaning of friendship to refer to new casual acquaintances as "friends ".

For goodness sake, he’s on holiday and found some kind people to have fun with - excellent.

Err...glad we could help.

Blimey.

Yeah he would, it's a common tactic to avoid suspicion.

I'm not saying it's happening, but the ' hiding in plain sight' think is as old as the hills.

He got on with them and had a fun time with them. He is entitled to refer to them as friends.

Yabu.

if DH went away by himself he’d be making friends at every turn as he’s very chatty and sociable. You can’t expect him to be by himself all week surely.

actually now I think about it, I took elderly DF on holiday last year and while I went to bed by 11 every night my DF carried on enjoying the nightlife every single evening! He made friends with various groups and hung out with them. Nothing untoward!

Many people put pressure on themselves to fit in and look like they've had fun. It's perfectly normal so I'm not sure why you've pivoted to criticising that.

It's not always healthy when you do things you don't enjoy to look like you fit in but it can actually be positive. I've travelled solo a lot and had many nights when I just wanted to retire to my hotel room with a book at 6pm but forced myself out of my comfort zone, and had some of the best nights of my life as a result. Which in turn gave me a confidence boost in terms of overcoming shyness.

Many of those nights were exactly as you describe in your thread title and yes, I added them to my social media. This was over a decade ago and some of them have become really great friends.

Sort of thing I'd do and I'm nearly 60 😂

Consider the fact he might be morphing his responses to you based on your personality and likely replies back, he might say these things to get you to fuck off his back a bit knowing you're a party pooper and will get funny about him doing things you've pretended you were totally okay with. It would be different if you said "book a holiday just yourself, but don't meet anybody, don't add them on Facebook, don't make friends or go back to their rooms, and don't speak to females. Also spend enough time alone that you're similar to me, who is happy reading a book by myself on holiday, even though you are an individual who is different to me. Have fun, but not what I would deem too much" - that would've accurately set the scene so he knew what exactly he was allowed to do without you getting funny.

Also, you're talking about risks of him going to a strangers hotel room with a group of people partying, as if he is a teenage girl. I think the mid 40s man can handle himself in most situations that pop up in these circumstances.

Why wouldn't you have gone away together? He's on a holiday, by himself, letting the wind take him. I'd do exactly the same thing myself as a woman. If you didn't want him meeting people and having fun you shouldn't have suggested he fly to a foreign country by himself. Who wants to sit in a hotel room alone, he's getting out there and making friends left right center as you say and you're pissed off... I don't think you're quite as easy going and relaxed as you thought you were by pushing him to go away alone because he deserves it.....

I made a friend in the same waterpark last week! If you find a single rider as a group with an odd number at Siam Park you hold on to him for life!! Trust me. Worth his weight in gold 🤣

OP you're being very silly and unfair. Stop playing games with him

Honestly, get a life! He’s not wrong to refer to them as friends when’s he’s got talking to them & hung out with them for the day. Doesn’t mean they have to be life long besties.

I think your main issue is that he is out partying with randoms, but Tenerife is party central & not generally a destination for young solo travellers. It’s actually nice that people are including him. If he was with you / a friend I don’t doubt he’d be having a different sort of holiday.

I'm guessing OP wouldn't have an issue if there were no girls there