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Original poster

My 92-year-old mum thinks a Power of Attorney is “bossy”

104 replies

PoAornevermind · 05/06/2024 19:20

She set a Power of Attorney up approx 20 years ago but has lost it and it is not registered.

She has stalled on either trying to find it or apply for another one for a months now. My sister spoke to her about it at the weekend and mum wanted to put it off until “later”. Today she told me it all sounded a bit “bossy”.

I have explained that she can appoint whoever she wants as PoA, but please do one as I don’t want to be left with a nightmare of dealing with banks etc, should it be needed. My relationship with my sister is very difficult so that would presumably just add to the issues.

Mum has no hesitation in accepting plenty of care and support from my sister and I over years. She is fully with it at the moment, fully mobile etc, just a bit forgetful at times.

If she loses capacity without a PoA, what might I be in for, and can I distance myself from the mess?

AIBU to feel I’m in a stressful position or should I just leave it? It is after all entirely her choice.

OP posts:
TheBanffie · 05/06/2024 19:27

If there is no PoA the bank cannot legally deal with you. You would need to apply to be a legal guardian (process varies depending on where you are in the UK). Will be more complex and expensive than PoA.

TTCaxristi · 05/06/2024 19:27

I’m in the same boat OP, my mum doesn’t want to discuss it. I’ve resigned myself to having to pick up the pieces in the future.

Cherrysoup · 05/06/2024 19:26

Go on the gov.uk website and see if you can find her registered POA. My mum set one up and I forgot to set it up so had to request the code again recently, but it was only from a couple of years ago. There’s no reason it couldn't be found tho.

CaveMum · 05/06/2024 19:25

If she loses capacity you will not be able to access her finances to pay bills, etc without applying for a court order which could take months to be granted. You will also have no right to talk to her doctors and make decisions on her behalf.

She can’t have “set one up” if it was never registered. Until the POA has been registered it is a worthless document.