Any fellow teachers on here just feeling absolutely burnt out and wondering why you chose this career ??
Im on a long term supply ( meaning I don’t plan but have all other responsibilities) . The school itself is lovely …. But , I am just worn out .
I spend the day feeling like I’m just shouting all the time . Behaviour is not challenging in terms of major issues , but it’s CONSTANT talking - that is too much for a learning environment , I’m constantly shouting ! All the time . I never wanted to be this type of teacher . I work through lunch , marking , and still don’t leave until around 1645 . The to do list never ends. Everything is on a strict timetable so I’m rushing to get lessons completed , when the class are virtually incapable of doing anything independently. I have an amazing TA who is just as worn out as me and the other 2 teachers of the other classes in the year group are the same ( if not more as they are planning and resourcing ! ) - so I know it’s not me and I’ve been told this year group as a whole are very challenging .
Im mentally and physically drained. I look worse than ever as I have no time or desire to do anything for myself , I’m in pain as I’m on my feet all day and leaning over tiny desks , I don’t have a car right now so I then have a commute . I get home and I have to vacuum ( have a dog so has to be done daily ) , then I’m sorting things for the next day , doing dinners . It’s 715pm and I’ve just stopped and about to make my own dinner . I have never known a job like this . My mind is racing , I feel like the whole day is full speed , my throat is horse from shouting ( that’s mainly just to be heard ! ) , I’m snappy with my children , snappy with my husband .
I didn’t think it would be like this , it’s the hardest job I’ve ever done. I’m still an ECT - my first permanent job was harder and I left as I almost had a breakdown . I went into day to day supply then took a long term for financial security . I’ve been offered a job with this school for September but I can’t face it , I don’t want to go back to day to day ( I have to work part time in the holidays if I do ) but I don’t think I can live like this long term .
I’ve applied for roles out of teaching and I’m awaiting outcomes but I’m worrying about not having the holidays with my own children .
I feel trapped and wish I had never gone into teaching . I trained for 5 years and i hate it and don’t want to be a failure but I don’t know how I could do this forever .