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AIBU?

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Original poster

To hate teaching

88 replies

Fireflyfly · 05/06/2024 19:20

Any fellow teachers on here just feeling absolutely burnt out and wondering why you chose this career ??

Im on a long term supply ( meaning I don’t plan but have all other responsibilities) . The school itself is lovely …. But , I am just worn out .

I spend the day feeling like I’m just shouting all the time . Behaviour is not challenging in terms of major issues , but it’s CONSTANT talking - that is too much for a learning environment , I’m constantly shouting ! All the time . I never wanted to be this type of teacher . I work through lunch , marking , and still don’t leave until around 1645 . The to do list never ends. Everything is on a strict timetable so I’m rushing to get lessons completed , when the class are virtually incapable of doing anything independently. I have an amazing TA who is just as worn out as me and the other 2 teachers of the other classes in the year group are the same ( if not more as they are planning and resourcing ! ) - so I know it’s not me and I’ve been told this year group as a whole are very challenging .

Im mentally and physically drained. I look worse than ever as I have no time or desire to do anything for myself , I’m in pain as I’m on my feet all day and leaning over tiny desks , I don’t have a car right now so I then have a commute . I get home and I have to vacuum ( have a dog so has to be done daily ) , then I’m sorting things for the next day , doing dinners . It’s 715pm and I’ve just stopped and about to make my own dinner . I have never known a job like this . My mind is racing , I feel like the whole day is full speed , my throat is horse from shouting ( that’s mainly just to be heard ! ) , I’m snappy with my children , snappy with my husband .

I didn’t think it would be like this , it’s the hardest job I’ve ever done. I’m still an ECT - my first permanent job was harder and I left as I almost had a breakdown . I went into day to day supply then took a long term for financial security . I’ve been offered a job with this school for September but I can’t face it , I don’t want to go back to day to day ( I have to work part time in the holidays if I do ) but I don’t think I can live like this long term .

I’ve applied for roles out of teaching and I’m awaiting outcomes but I’m worrying about not having the holidays with my own children .

I feel trapped and wish I had never gone into teaching . I trained for 5 years and i hate it and don’t want to be a failure but I don’t know how I could do this forever .

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 05/06/2024 20:16

I left a couple of years ago.

If you want to stay and survive you need to prioritise two things and two things only:

What SLT will check are done (so marking books etc)
What will actually impact the kids and help them make progress.

Many teachers with teens get their teens to do the marking as the load required is ridiculous and most teens can apply the marking policy easily. I used to pay mine a fiver an hour.

BeachHutsAndDeckchairs · 05/06/2024 20:15

What would happen if you let them talk, btw? Let them talk but be on any silly or disrespectful chatter but only when they're working?

BeachHutsAndDeckchairs · 05/06/2024 20:10

I am/was a supply teacher who decided to have a break after working long term in an academy. I currently work in a nursery. The pay is shit, the hours are long, and it's very physically and emotionally challenging but is a completely different atmosphere from that in a school. Another teacher I know decided to become a childminder instead.

Morningcrows · 05/06/2024 20:08

You need to sort out what is important. Not all the things asked of you are essential. Is it so important that you mark everything in a lesson? Do the children really benefit from your marking? if not, just pay it lip service. I only mark the essential bits and it's fine. The wheels don't fall off.

As for the behaviour, you have realised yourself that shouting doesn't work.
Go back to basics, when you want them to listen, tell them to put pens down and look at you and don't talk until all eyes are on you. If someone talks, stop, say their name and say 'warning' . Do it every time. If that person talks again. They lose 5 minutes of lunch.

If they are doing work, set the timer for silence for 5 minutes, reset the timer to 5 every time someone talks. You might only need to do this a few times.

Ask colleagues for what works for them

Original poster
Fireflyfly · 05/06/2024 20:02

Whinge · 05/06/2024 19:49

The school obviously think you're ok at it or they wouldn't have offered you the post.

I'm not saying the OP is a bad teacher, i'm sure she's amazing. But being offered a job doesn't always mean you're a great, or even ok teacher. Sometimes it means you're the cheapest or only person who has agreed to do the job.

… or that I am there on supply , no contract , with an awful class and haven’t left ! That thought has crossed my mind !

OP posts:
Original poster
Fireflyfly · 05/06/2024 19:59

User0ne · 05/06/2024 19:46

It sounds like teaching might not be for you.

The school obviously think you're ok at it or they wouldn't have offered you the post.

Have you tried "silent time" with your class - explain that you will put a timer up for 5/10 minutes and during that time no one is allowed to talk including you. The only shush them, don't talk. Use that time for marking. It will increase their independence and give you some.much needed time. Tell them if they're stuck to move on.

I do feel like it isn’t .

The school are lovely , always complementing me , but lately I’ve found they’re brushing off any concerns i have over behaviour. I also found out that the teacher they started the year with , an older man who had been teaching for 30 years , left because he said that he couldn’t handle a whole year with the class .

I have tried quiet time , sound bubbles , timers , quiet critters , high rewards for quiet and it just doesn’t work 😞

OP posts:
Littlemisscapable · 05/06/2024 19:56

You say the school is all about teacher well being but from what you are describing I'm not so sure.. u just can't be using ur lunchbreak to mark. Something has to give. Can you speak to slt and see if there is any support or suggestions. It's an exhausting job but you must have boundaries. Do you have a time budget ? Are you in union ?

CremeEggThief · 05/06/2024 19:50

YANBU. It's obviously not for you, OP. No need to feel guilty about it. You've given it another try, it's not working out. Time to move on and try something different.

Whinge · 05/06/2024 19:49

The school obviously think you're ok at it or they wouldn't have offered you the post.

I'm not saying the OP is a bad teacher, i'm sure she's amazing. But being offered a job doesn't always mean you're a great, or even ok teacher. Sometimes it means you're the cheapest or only person who has agreed to do the job.

Original poster
Fireflyfly · 05/06/2024 19:49

I mean , a thought I’ve just had , how ridiculous is this ?

I have always had a nice figure until starting teaching . I’ve put on about a stone since I started that I yo yo with ….. because , I’m so exhausted that I’m having toast and crisps for my dinner , because I’m just so tired that I just want to have something quick ! I’ve always had healthy lunches at work ( salads mainly ) but in teaching I find myself making sandwiches or takin crisps - so that it’s something I can eat whilst marking , so I only have to use one hand!

OP posts:
User0ne · 05/06/2024 19:47

Oh, and then increase the time over a term

User0ne · 05/06/2024 19:46

It sounds like teaching might not be for you.

The school obviously think you're ok at it or they wouldn't have offered you the post.

Have you tried "silent time" with your class - explain that you will put a timer up for 5/10 minutes and during that time no one is allowed to talk including you. The only shush them, don't talk. Use that time for marking. It will increase their independence and give you some.much needed time. Tell them if they're stuck to move on.

Fancypants2022 · 05/06/2024 19:45

You have my sympathy. I left teaching 4 years ago after 15 years. Have a look at the Facebook group, ‘Life After Teaching - Exit the Classroom and Thrive’ and you will not only see that you are not alone, but will find some really good advice about other jobs you could do.

Original poster
Fireflyfly · 05/06/2024 19:43

Heirian · 05/06/2024 19:27

It sounds like you're not extroverted enough for it, OP. I wouldn't be either. Even on the best days it would be constantly draining.

I’m am an introvert! I don’t think that helps . One of the reasons I haven’t gone back in permanent is observations . I can’t imagine going back and having to face them eve eye half term , terrifies me !

OP posts:
Original poster
Fireflyfly · 05/06/2024 19:42

Sunshine187 · 05/06/2024 19:27

It's horrendous in every single way. I'm struggling though to find another job so feel completely stuck. Even basic admin jobs I'm not getting interviews for. Feel very low. Best Wishes to you OP, I hope you find some happiness soon.

I’m sorry you’re going through this !

Im with you ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Fireflyfly · 05/06/2024 19:41

MillyMalone · 05/06/2024 19:30

OP, you need to join the Facebook group ‘Life After Teaching - Exit the Classroom and Thrive’ - you will see that you are very much not alone. You can get out and things will get better.

Already in the group lol I think I joined it within a month of qualifying 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Fireflyfly · 05/06/2024 19:40

BG2015 · 05/06/2024 19:32

I feel like this but I'm 55 and have been teaching for 28 years.

It does get easier as you become more experienced and learn what you really don't need to do. There is really is so much rubbish you're expected to do just in case Ofsted visit (we're expecting them in the next 12-18 months)

I dropped a day before Christmas and have just downsized with a view to retire in the next couple of years.

It's not the job it was when I started in 1996.

A lot tell me that , that it’s changed so much .

This school are also due OFSTED , it’s a celebration each week when they don’t get the call !

OP posts:
Original poster
Fireflyfly · 05/06/2024 19:40

Gensola · 05/06/2024 19:32

I left in 2019 - never looked back. The grass is 100% greener on the other side!

What do you do now ?

OP posts:
Whinge · 05/06/2024 19:39

YANBU OP. Put it this way, I've never met an Ex teacher who has regretted leaving. I'm sure they exist, but all the ones I know are much happier in their new jobs, and all of them feel like they have a much better work life balance.

Original poster
Fireflyfly · 05/06/2024 19:39

Stellaroses · 05/06/2024 19:35

So get them to self mark or peer mark, mark only 1 piece of writing per week and one Maths.

We can’t do that, it’s not the policy at this school . I get them to self mark at times and it’s awful - changing answers or marking incorrect as correct . They are like they’re y1 I’ve never known anything like it .

OP posts:
Original poster
Fireflyfly · 05/06/2024 19:38

Stellaroses · 05/06/2024 19:33

It is exhausting, but as a teacher of 18 years and counting: Find ways other than shouting to manage the classroom. It doesn’t work and the more you do it, the less it works!
Also I would never work through lunch. I don’t know what you’re doing in that time but you are possibly marking more than you need to…depends on school policy but research shows that a lot of marking is pointless. In pedagogy, the tide is turning against marking.
Can you get a car? A commute would make the job much harder for me.
Vacuuming - can someone else do that/take it in turns??

It’s all within the policy that I do 😩

I have a new car on order , I will have it by the summer so that’s something that won’t be a problem next year.

Inhave always been really positive with my approach to behaviour management and every day that’s how I start but then once the lessons get going , it just doesn’t work . I hate that I’m just shouting and I know I’m just background noise now . When I first started for a few weeks I barely shouted and when I did it had a massive impact and now I just feel like I’m nagging them all the time , I don’t feel in control any more .

Vaccuming / all the stuff I do when I get in has to be me - my husband is amazing but he’s just started a job ( to take the hit of me earning less ) that’s 1 and a half hours drive away and he gets home 7 and a half hours before he’s up again and he also works 6 days so he is even more exhausted than me so I think its unfair to leave him jobs to do. He literally just eats and goes to bed but it’s all he can do x

OP posts:
Takeoutyourhen · 05/06/2024 19:36

Year 3 is a tough year. The transition from KS1 to KS2 and often the support drops off the radar.

Stellaroses · 05/06/2024 19:35

So get them to self mark or peer mark, mark only 1 piece of writing per week and one Maths.

Original poster
Fireflyfly · 05/06/2024 19:34

Abigaillovesholidays · 05/06/2024 19:31

It's a really hard job. You said you are an ECT so you may find it easier in the future- I.e can reuse planning/resources and things just generally take less time due to experience. The school you are in can make a massive difference to workload- we do absolutely no marking outside of lesson time. So if there are parts of the job you enjoy then maybe give it another term in another school?? But really life is too short to be giving everything to a job. Whatever you do- you are not a failure.

I thought about another school . The thing is this school is really passionate about teacher wellbeing - but it’s still a lot . I thought this school was perfect , and in terms of support , the environment etc it is but it’s still overwhelming so I wonder - is it me ? We can mark that lesson within the lesson but it’s too much to do it all in one lesson with having to actually support the children , I have tried and I don’t think it’s beneficial for them so I have stacks at the end of the day

OP posts:
Stellaroses · 05/06/2024 19:33

It is exhausting, but as a teacher of 18 years and counting: Find ways other than shouting to manage the classroom. It doesn’t work and the more you do it, the less it works!
Also I would never work through lunch. I don’t know what you’re doing in that time but you are possibly marking more than you need to…depends on school policy but research shows that a lot of marking is pointless. In pedagogy, the tide is turning against marking.
Can you get a car? A commute would make the job much harder for me.
Vacuuming - can someone else do that/take it in turns??