To hate teaching

I suspect nobody will respond to this as I’m months late but also a teacher and feeling the same. Keep looking for other jobs out-with the profession but don’t know what else to do. I feel trapped. I have toddlers at home and when I go home I’m exhausted and same story at the weekend. It’s all consuming and I’ve had enough. I feel your pain.

Exactly this! I'm in Year 3 and I've never, ever had a year as bad as this one. It's broken me to the point I had to take a week off with utter exhaustion in February. I honestly thought I was going to have a break down...I just walked out one day in absolute tears, with no support offered, and stayed in bed for a week. I worry about what is going to happen with this cohort...and wonder how it's got to this point!

Something has to give...and more research needs to be done about the issues we are having now in schools. It's just so sad. I feel like we are heading towards some kind of 'perfect storm' that will implode our education system.

This sounds ideal...but we have to follow the school marking policy. In my school, we have to mark EVERY piece of work in all books every day. Our SLT do daily 'drop ins' and go through books...they 'found' (searched hard for!) one piece of work in one book that I had somehow missed a few weeks ago, and I got an 'informal warning' about following the marking policy!! I've been teaching for 30 years now and felt like a scolded child. It was utterly bizarre to be so chastised over a single piece of work out of the many hundreds I'd already marked that particular week. The work...a short, three sentence answer to a comprehension question! I suspect the book simply hadn't been handed in and I'd not noticed 🤷‍♀️

Hey OP. You sound completely overwhelmed. For your own mental health you need to change things. I'm 30 years teaching come August (Scotland). It's very rewarding but very hard job.

It's not for everyone . If it's not for you, it's best to find out soon before it breaks you. Like PP said, it's quite an extrovert 's job- you're performing all the time. I'm a big personality, & you often need this to keep the kids on side. I'm secondary.and don't shout: my mantra is that if I make them laugh I'm 50% of the way there, the other 50% is having interesting topics & resources tailored to my clientèle, being super organised, having high expectations and by being kind- kindness gets you a long way in life generally, but especially with young people.

Some days I want to lie in a dark room, but mostly I love my job. I'm in a deprived inner-city school & that's exactly right for me.

Please don't break yourself, in the end it's just a job.

I am sorry you are feeling like this. It sounds like you are doing a good job - your school want to keep you - and it's clear from your posts that providing a good education for the kids in your care is important to you. But you want a decent work-life balance too, and that's reasonable.

I am in secondary, which is a lot easier. (Would you consider moving into secondary? I work with a number of former primary teachers who find secondary a lot of conducive to a good work life balance - planning and marking is lighter, larger schools so responsibilities more shared out, etc etc).

I absolutely LOVE teaching - other than my child, it is by far the best thing in my life and I feel so privileged to have the job I do. I work in a city comp in a deprived area, but in my opinion (not Ofsted's!) a good school. I prefer it to other environments I have worked in (including a brief stint in an independent) - it suits me perfectly.

I did not always find teaching so easy or enjoyable. The first two or three years of teaching are brutal. I would have really struggled if I had had kids. There is so much to learn, and planning takes so long!

And then every time you move school, it takes at least a year to bed in and get fully accepted by the kids. But that doesn't compare to the full on stress of starting out.

It can be a great job. It has given me so many wonderful opportunities to go places and do things I would never otherwise have done, alongside the kids. It has given me a really solid sense of purpose and self worth, and of my place in the world, even at points when everything else has gone tits up.

But it's not for everyone. I do believe you need some form of vocation for it to work - obviously that can look different for different people. But if you don't truly have that love of it in your heart, however excellent you might be in the class room, you will burn out I think.

You must do what is right for you - life is too short to stay unhappy for long. You could give yourself a sensible deadline, and if you are still hating it by then, make plans to get out. It might be worth trying at least one contrasting school environment first (schools really are so different - even ones which on paper look similar).

Possibly consider some counselling - your school may well have access to a service that could provide you with some for free. I find it can just help to sort out all the different strands of what is going on, and clarify exactly what you are looking for.

Good luck, whatever you decide!

Which career? 👀 Asking for a friend...

I also left during Covid, never went back. I was ups3 so very experienced. Never regretted it. It’s a shit job these days

I left 10 years ago after 15 years at the chalkface. I was burnt out and exhausted. I'm so relieved I got out.

If you can manage on contracts, you may be able to survive until you find yourself a new career, and still be around for your own children. Do yourself a good CV and sign up with as many agencies as you can. As a teacher you have good transferable skills which you can finesse into useful attributes for an employer. (For example: teaching enables you to present information clearly and confidently to a wide range of audiences; you can easily multi-task; you are a self-starter who is happy to manage and prioritise her own workload, and you can manage large mixed teams...!)

I'd try something more extreme with the kids.

Do the main culprits have parents that support the school? I'd start by calling home and telling the parents about the poor behaviour.

Another option is sending them to the head en masse! I teach in secondary but once sent 6 to the behaviour room in an hour - I'd just had enough of the low level disruption. I regularly call parents too as that works well if the parents are supportive.

Before quitting this is the time to come up and try with new strategies.

If they're all being a pain then get them out the classroom for an impromptu PE lesson and make them run a mile round the playground!

Ps - I'm also a parent to twins in Y3, one of whom can be a pain in the bum! The teacher regularly chats to me and I implement punishments at home if she is naughty!

I left teaching in 2018 after 14 years. I now work in higher education and I wouldn't go back to schools under any circumstance. I still have anxiety dreams about being back in the classroom!

I took a significant drop in pay when I left, but I'm not a million miles away from the UP3 equivalent now. The holidays are just a non issue because I'm not completely exhausted, and I also get plenty of time to do life admin around my job. The flexibility and autonomy I enjoy now are just astounding in comparison - I never take my working conditions for granted.

You are not a failure for wanting to leave. It's an impossible job and life's just too short.

(edited for typos)

Our Year 4's are the class that were affected by Covid. Partial time spent in Reception and Year 1.

The behaviour in schools right now is shocking. Teachers are done in and it is terrifying to see. Lots are leaving, lots of cover, only 1 or 2 people applying for new roles. Teachers are overworked and under appreciated. I worry for the future as we need teachers to educate our future adults. Looking at the state of the kids today, the future looks bleak.

They sound similar to my Year 2 class, all the tips I've seen recommended to keep them on task and minimise low level disruptions work for 2 days max then they just don't care about either rewards or sanctions. I have a core group of 6 children who will not complete work in lessons, sometimes they're messing about being silly, other times they just sit and do nothing, even with me making sure they know what to do, talking through it and giving them timers to get it down on paper. They literally don't care if they get loads of rewards, don't care if they miss all their playtime, all their lunch play time, any "golden time" because they have work to catch up on. They take the hit every single time rather than actually just complete work in the lesson. It's exhausting!

Sounds like the yr 3 class in my school. Anecdotally, I have heard that other local schools are also struggling with year 3. Our year 3s are just so young for their age. They are more like year 1/2. They struggle to focus and cannot work independently. Their social skills are also way below what we would expect. They tell tales on each other constantly and the parents don’t help as they molly coddle them too much and are constantly complaining about perceived issues. It’s draining. They seem to be the cohort most affected by covid. They had lockdowns when they were in nursery and reception and in year 1 they were still being taught as a bubble. Year 2 was their first proper school year really with no disruption. Their skills are effectively 2 years behind where they should be.

Respectfully though this has become the norm while teaching in England ....it doesn't have to be this way and is definetly not like this in other parts of the UK or other countries. Unless teachers start standing up for their rights, use their unions and fight back... education will continue to haemorrhage teachers and then where will we be ?

Sounds like the Year 3 class I'm TA for. They're exhausting. Constant talking, shouting out, silly noises, walking round the room, no independence... Very experienced teachers are struggling. I just wanted to sympathise as i have a idea how drained you must be feeling 💐

You will develop more tricks to keep them on task rather than raising your voice. This takes time and as an ECT you have got that in your toolbox yet.

I’m 6 years in and loving it, secondary and current have gained time which helps, but mainly as I don’t have all the little tasks any more. I don’t have to think about every aspect as I am just more competent. But it does take time.

Would a different year group suit you better? Maybe on of the older years where they can self settle a bit more.

Also, tip for vacuuming everyday - get yourself a robot vacuum cleaner,it can do the floors when you’re out.

I think you are being a bit unrealistic here @Littlemisscapable
I've always worked through the children's lunch hour, as have virtually all staff in all the schools I have worked in.

A key difference from when I started in the 80s, and now, is that, when I started, all the effort, energy, and hours, went in to preparing great lessons for the children. Now, that is sadly bottom of the list. The whole "preparing for OFSTED" permanently, the tracking, the 'deep dives', the marking policies, the 'practice inspections', etc, etc, etc, do not benefit the children, and just drain the staff.

i hate it and don’t want to be a failure
Believe me, it isn't you that is failing, or has failed, it is the system. The way schools are run now, is just broken.

You absolutely would be qualified! Go for it. I thought they wouldn't look twice as I have no experience in a charity or that particular sector but there's jobs out there.

But I stuck my neck out and thought what's the worst that can happen? I don't get an interview. Nothing lost!

As a say, salary is a poor but my children and husband notice the difference, we eat as a family most evenings now I can WFH regularly (charity don't have enough office space for all staff so we agile work) and I feel actually valued for the work I do.

I’m leaving too at the end of term. 24 years and have just lost the love for the job. Do what you feel is right for you.

PS I'm not saying that my discipline is perfect. Difficult classes are utterly exhausting and I'm sure I'm not always consistent. However, in your shoes I'd put all my energy into solving the talking not the marking

I was a teacher for 19 years. I knew I couldn't do another 19 years to retirement without something giving; my health, my sanity or my marriage.

18 months ago I saw an advert for an education role in a charity, and applied on a whim. Got the job. It's still perplexing me how different the two jobs are (and how much lower stress the new one is, by comparison).

Yes I get paid a pretty paltry salary after being on UPS3 + TLR. I've gone from part to full time and I am still less stressed and have more time.

Laptop closes and I shut off from work every night. Weekends are my own.

Having recently done some work in a secondary school again as part of my new role, it has confirmed to me I will never, ever go back.