Does she owe me the money?

I wouldn't ask for the money in these circumstances but would think it's great that at least someone got to use the tickets and one of your friends got to go.

I've had so many of these exact same issues and my usual go to is that the money is already gone (on my end) and usually long ago, so I just let it go.
I'm always shocked that others don't have the inherent decency to offer a few quid but time has shown they don't and I roll with it. I'm always happier to see a ticket used than wasted.

The thing is, it was YOUR ticket, and you would be perfectly within your rights to LET THE SEAT STAY EMPTY , rather than let the freeloading sister have it! You're under no obligation to be kind etc, you have a choice!

This can also be interpreted as friend 2 gave your ticket to her husband, and friend 2's ticket was given to friend 1's sister.

It was all very last minute and probably confusing for friend 1. You dropped out 2 days beforehand, that's not a lot of time to find someone else, particularly as the other friend dropped out too. Let it go.

I once had a friend like that sister. Always made sure to get things for free. I had some friends over for an early dinner/cold buffet stuff mainly but nice food. Everyone were about to leave and I wrapped things up and put in the fridge. She then called her partner who lived a street away and told him to come over as there was food left. He did, and she proceeded to take my food out from the fridge and even got him a plate from my cupboard. 😂 They had money, a nice house etc (who she managed to get friends to renovate and make a wooden dinner table etc for free).

I am a very (too) generous person to friends. But this is just being a cf.

You don’t get to speak for all of us. OP has explained herself very well, it has nothing to do with being tight.

You on the other hand seem to be one of those grabby people like the sister who offered not even a token wine bottle or whatever to say thanks.

I'd feel pee'd off too OP. It's the fact that she just took the decision out of your hands as to whether you wanted to offer your (paid for) ticket to any of your OWN friends before she gave it to her (tight) sister. It was YOUR ticket to do with as you wanted; she wasn't entitled to make that decision for you.

Maybe you should have been quicker off the mark when you knew you wouldn't be able to attend and done a 'round robin' text message offering the ticket to a bunch of friends, with first one replying positively getting the ticket; then getting in touch with Friend A to say you couldn't go but X/no-one would replace you so feel free to use the ticket for Y.

I think the backstory you've alluded to about their previous tight behaviour has affected your overall view of the situation. You obviously know more than we do about how tight your friend and sister are having been at the brunt end of it previously; maybe this is the final straw that's made you think what you're thinking.

But at the end of the day, do you want to lose a friendship that means a lot to you? As you've already said, you need to dial down on your own generosity towards them both in future so when a similar situation occurs (and it probably will!), you may not feel so hard done by.

No it’s not. At all.

Are you the grabby sister?

But what would have happened if the sister hadn't gone? It sounds like you hadn't made any attempt to sell or return the ticket so presumably you would have paid for a seat that went to waste. At least someone was sitting in it.

If anything I might be more annoyed with friend 2 who didn't tell you she wasn't going leaving you thinking that she was using your ticket.

I wouldn’t risk damaging a friendship over this. You couldn’t go so the money was gone.

I wouldn't lose a friend for £30 - I'd probably say 'oh just tell her to buy me a bottle of Villa Maria (or whatever) and we'll call it quits- I hope she enjoyed the show

Why did you ask if you’re so convinced you’re right, and not tight, whilst repeatedly posting about how someone used your ticket you couldn’t have used without your permission and now you’re not going to bring bloody donuts . I mean really would,you have said no unless I get the money. How cringe. And all this she didn’t deserve it stuff is so creepy/

but anyway, why ask

you..am I wromg
mumsnet. Oh yes, and tight to boot
you no I’m not.

It was going to waste, her sister took it, leave it at that and move on. If you had told her I've sold it to X and she'll meet you outside to get the ticket and she said ah, I gave it to my sister, that would be different. Let her have it with good grace.

I was ill the day of a theatre trip booked to go with my sister. She sold my ticket at 50% of face value to a friend and gave me the money.

If you had said to friend "can you see if anyone you know wants to buy my ticket at half price" and she then gave it away free you could expect her to pay you 50% from her own pocket. Given that two of you dropped out and she only used 1 spare ticket that 50% should be shared between you and the other person who dropped out. But given that you offered it for free to her DH it's npt unreasonable for her to use it for her sister instead. Not worth quibbling over.

It easy, text her and say it’s fine this time, but if it ever happened again you’d expect her to ask and that her sister really should have offered to buy it.

Cmon. Now, you keep saying you’re not tight, then proving your thought process is absolutely tight as.

Don't sweat the small stuff in friendships OP- you were ill, it's not that easy just to resell and yes I wouldn't want to go on my own much either

Cheeky of your pal to give it to her sister yes, but you were going to give it away in any case so I'd just write it off.

So you didn't even message the trip organiser for two days before, didn't make any effort to re-sell the ticket or find anyone to go?

There are very few perks to being the person that organises things, the only thing that might work in your favour is being able to offer someone the chance to come along for free when your friends, who haven't put a second of effort into organising anything, pull out.

The perk to being the one who has things organised for them is not having to give much thought to people pulling out or plans changing.

You are full of "she should have asked..." but really, you should have followed up in some way. There is a reason you didn't say to her "do me a favour, try to find someone to pay full price for my ticket last minute," because that would be CF and ridiculous. It's only hindsight that is making you think it's ok.

If it will help you mentally, think of the sister you don't like having your friends ticket and your seat sitting empty.

Would you have been OK with the sister having Friend 2's ticket whilst yours went unused?

Friend 1 had two spare tickets and only one of them was used. I'm not sure why it was necessarily your ticket given away rather than Friend 2's.

Either way, you had no plan for the ticket and didn't know until after the event that the sister went, so no additional loss to you. You have just been aggrieved that the sister didn't pay for something that was offered to her for free and going to waste anyway.

It would have been nice if the sister had been actively looking for a ticket and insisted on paying, but in that case the money should have been shared between you and Friend 2, no?