historical dating one 'wear something sexy'

OP, you should have turned up wearing one of those aprons that has a sexy cartoon woman on it!

I mean, in his defence, Crocs are horrific. What were you thinking, wearing them on a date, with a nice dress?? I wouldn't be seen dead in a pair of Crocs!

Every time a man has introduced a sexual element before I've even had a chance to build a rapport with him, never mind warm up to him "that" way, it's been like having a bucket of cold water thrown over me. I back out immediately. And no, I don't think you were being unreasonable. I bet such bad timing and buffonery translate into bad bedroom skills. The best lover I ever had displayed womderful manners outside the bedroom and they carried over to inside the bedroom too.

In those circumstances, binning was definitely the right decision.

My now DP did say before our first date 'Don't wear too much makeup', which nearly scuppered him. But we'd known each other for over a decade so I gave him a one-off pass, wore twice as much make up as usual, and he's never done it again.

I’m always fascinated on threads about proactively dating how offended some women get by men who overtly express an interest in the potential of a non platonic relationship. I’d always understood that to be the whole point: Do I fancy this person/do they fancy me and do we want to get it on in the foreseeably near future. If not, what’s the point?!

Personally until we meet face to face I have no idea whether there’s a spark so I’m not going to be flirtatious or talking sexually to what is really an online stranger.

I think most of us who have done OLD have had meet ups with someone who isn’t exactly who they’ve claimed to be - age, height, old photos etc

Once we’ve met if there’s an attraction then it goes from there.

Honestly I’m not sure what I’d have done if this had happened to me! It depends if I thought he was joking.

I think mostly it would have shown that we had mismatched expectations because I don’t have anything sexy in my wardrobe! I have nice clothes that I like but I don’t really dress up in a sexy way and so I don’t think a man looking for that in his partner would find it in me.

And yes, for a first date that comment is too forward for me and a bit sleazy. I think you were right to do what felt best to you (cancel).

I’d have taken it as flirtatious - especially given the historical context - certainly not as an actual demand/requirement, but more as an indication that he was attracted/potentially attracted to me and was putting it out there, albeit somewhat clunkily given the lack of chat beforehand.

I’m always fascinated on threads about proactively dating how offended some women get by men who overtly express an interest in the potential of a non platonic relationship. I’d always understood that to be the whole point: Do I fancy this person/do they fancy me and do we want to get it on in the foreseeably near future. If not, what’s the point?!

I misunderstood the OP and was going to suggest corset and pantaloons 😆

I’m unsure why you’ve tried to offend me.

if I met someone on a dating site that asked me out to drinks after a while of talking to them.. I’d assume at some point some flirty banter might appear. This would be just that.. for me. Which is exactly why I said OP did the right thing, as it didn’t sit right with her.

I also havent said I would have bowed down to his request and stuck on some fishnets for him. Naturally, I would have been dressing up slightly anyway.. I would have just shot some banter back at him and break the serious-talk ice before we go for drinks.

I’m sorry my opinion isn’t to your liking. But thanks anyway I guess?

Honestly, it says a lot about you that you would have taken an instruction as to what to wear from a total stranger as ‘flirtatious’.

Some may have liked it. You didn’t and you are headstrong enough to not just shake off a comment that didn’t sit right with you. Cancelling the date was the right thing to do for you.

Personally I would have been a bit taken aback by the comment if there hadn’t been any flirting yet, but ultimately I would have assumed an abrupt attempt to flirt.

😂😂

I’d have turned up in flats, wearing a baggy polar neck.

I may be wrong, but I think women's ideas of " sexy" for a man are much more varied. My idea of sexy is a soldier's redcoat and breeches, but sadly there aren't many men shopping in Tesco dressed like that!

This is a good response. Personally I wouldn't cancel a date over this. It's just abit of banter and I wouldn't have been annoyed at all.

It's a big, fat 'Hell, NO' from me, too. What other reasonable response is there? Nobody likes being told what to do.

The thing is as well a man’s idea of sexy and a woman’s idea are usually completely different.

lets be honest when the average man says wear something sexy he usually means ‘have your tits and arse hanging out’

I thought this to. I'm a little disappointed 😂

I think some guys think online dating is basically a free escort service

Either that or he would have showed up in 70s platform shoes, in the hopes of getting lucky!