3yo sent toilet on his own in preschool and he had an accident

You honestly think pre school teachers accompany every 3 year old to the toilet? Are you serious?

I mean I would send my 2 year old to the toilet if I’m busy and tell her I’ll be with her in a minute. I don’t think it’s negligence to presume he is able to do it himself at 3

I was thinking this!?

Trust your own feelings and take him out OP. People pointscore all the time on MN they'll say you're babying him (& if you are, so what? He's 3 not 13), as well as acting like you have to appease, not say a word, school/nursery is always right. It sounds really upsetting both for him, and you.

I’m just getting a really uneasy feeling about his preschool as well I feel like my boy is very intimidated there and not his happy confident self and since going he’s become timid and quiet

This would be enough for me to get gone. I didn't send either of mine to nursery and judging by some of the unkind replies on here especially from the 'too busy's', thank God I didn't

Put your child first, and trust your own judgment. You know him better than anybody.

I think if he’s regressing that’s a huge red flag for asd. But at 3 you can and should expect a NT potty trained child to go to the loo themselves even if they can’t wipe themselves.

Oh wow! Maybe this kind of drama from parents at every little thing is why they are all leaving!!

Did he have new trousers on that he didn't know how to take down, or a shirt or top was in the way and he couldn't 'find' the waistband of the trousers to pull them down because of that?

Practice at home with all his school clothes so you know he can get them on and off and he should be ok at home with you outside and get his confidence back.

Don't help if you don't have to so he can get more practice.

I work in a pre-school, we absolutely do not have enough staff to take every child to the toilet. It is very frustrating as a practitioner when parents tell us children are fully potty trained but they can’t pull their own trousers up and down and must literally be sat on the toilet. It takes up so much of our time and then parents get cross when the child has accidents?!

If he can't take himself (unless in the case of a physical disability) then he's not fully toilet trained. You should have told them if he still needed to be accompanied. I'd assume a three year old said to be toilet trained could take themselves, maybe call out for help to wipe for a poo.

Pull down trousers and pants. Sit on toilet. Poo. Get small wad of paper. Wipe from front to back. Look at paper. Is it dirty? Drop in toilet and repeat until paper is clean. Get off toilet. Pull up pants and trousers. Flush toilet. Wash hands with soap. Dry hands. Sorted.

Well DS was at 2 years 3 months, so I would be surprised if 'most' aren't at 4, when they will be starting school!

Have you taught him how to undress his lower half and wipe himself until he is clean? He should be independent at this stage, especially with child-sized facilities.

Yes a nursery! School teachers, even early years teachers are not working in a nursery and unless the child has recognised needs they do not help with arse wiping!

Is this your first child by any chance OP?

lol @ negligence.

im an Early Years teacher. Honestly, unless you had made it clear he was in the middle of toilet training and needed supervision every time, I wouldn't even think of going to the toilet every time a 3 year old asked. Impossible too with ratios of 1:10 children where I work, we leave them to it unless we know they need help.

Negligent because the teacher did not drop everything and take your son to the toilet?

Are you always this dramatic and precious ?

If your child is potty trained then they should be going into pre-school in trousers and pants they can easily pull down for this reason. I’d expect a nursery worker to check on them once they made a start in the toilet themselves (which they did). I don’t really see the issue.

I’m surprised at the answers here. I’ve never known a 3 year old be able to properly wipe after a poo. Our nursery was still wiping them at that age but definitely encouraging them to have a go. I don’t think it’s negligence though. Perhaps miscommunication. He may have said he needed a wee, in which case he’d be fine to go alone but I’m sure someone would go with him if he’d said poo. Just let them know he can’t wipe properly by himself so would need assistance for a poo

I take my daughter but she doesn't need me to, she can take herself and she is 3y3m

I don't understand why he couldn't pull his trousers down and sit on the toilet?

Did you mean to type most children ARE toilet trained by age 4? Because that would be far more accurate

It's really very common for a child who is toilet trained and reliable while they're at home in a familiar environment, to have the occasional accident when they're in a busy nursery setting - it's exciting, it's noisy, it's fun and ohhh I just can't stop playing to be bothered with the toilet!
I've worked in a Preschool setting, adults/teachers are always on hand to help if a child shouts up, and to offer reminders, but no, they are not expected to escort and supervise them while they're there.

Most children are not bladder and bowel trailed until age 4. Some replies here seem intentionally rude and goady or woefully misinformed.

@Lockdownmama2021 I'd remind staff to assist dc until fully independent.

Thank you. I'm glad you were brave enough to point that out!

Bit too PFB there OP. Accidents happen and at preschool age you should really have already taught him how to go to the bathroom by himself.