3yo sent toilet on his own in preschool and he had an accident

This is not negligence at all.

I work in early years, the only children we assist on the toilet are ones who are potty training, if they are potty trained they are expected to go themselves.

we are in a ratio of 1:8. Most days there are 2 staff to 16 children in each room which means we can’t leave one staff member with 16 children to take one child to the toilet.

at nursery all children should wear trousers, pants and shoes they can put on and off themselves. They go to school at 4/5 and one teacher has 30 kids, they can’t possibly assist each and every child to the toilet, to eat shoes on etc.

This is not negligence at all. You said that he might not have been able to get his trousers down because his buttons were too stiff.... surely it's on you to make sure he's wearing appropriate clothing that he can pull down to go to the toilet himself in that case. If you said he's toilet trained then surely he should be able to do this.
He had an accident, he's 3. It's happens. It's not a big deal. You're making it a huge deal when it's doesn't have to be. He's not traumatised by it... he's going to forget this happened.
You need to just move past this and encourage and help him to be more independent when going to the toilet.

I'd find a new nursery - from your post and your updates you obviously feel uncomfortable and don't trust them. Difficult to say whether they have done something wrong or not but the point is that you feel they have and so you are not happy for ds to be in their care which says it all to me.

And not one adult either but two. Unless the toilets are completely open to the rest of the room.

Why would this issue not be real?

Because there is an infamous 'toilet troll' who posts about children wetting themselves in public. Usually in school but sometimes in public toilets.

And because it's unusual for a nursery to accompany a potty trained child to the toilet because most do not have the staff for this and it's also unusual for a three year old to be dressed in clothes they can't manage which adds to the 'oh no, they have wet themselves' trope.

Where are you that any preschool has the staff available to spend the best part of the day accompanying 3 year olds to the toilet?

I feel like you've misunderstood them, there's no way they are employing someone to spend a large portion of each day taking children to the loo. That's simply bonkers.

Poor little boy, as long as they didn't shout at him or embarass him I think it's all above board. Accidents happen all the time at nursery, we even have to fill forms agreeing that staff will help if they have an accident 😊

Negligence really? The idea is ridiculous

Why would you put your child in trousers he can't undo himself?
My child is 3 and I always make sure he's in trousers he can pull down. Hence why he doesn't wear jeans right now as he struggles.

A lot of 3 year olds can go to the toilet alone, nursery toilets are also mini toilets and sinks so much easier than at home. They won't be accompanied to the toilet at school so do need to get used to this at preschool.
It's normal for children to have accidents in a new environment, they will try and hold it because they are distracted with play, unfamiliar with the toilets and/or not fully confident is asking the staff as they are still getting to know them.

Ahaa I see. It is tricky. As you will have a mixed bag of staff where ever you go. Some horrid storiesin the news of the extreme examples but it will be the same in any occupation including preschool

Side note this is a contributing factor for why we are home schooling. My niece went a private Nursery at a top school and ended up with a broken finger and the staff said it happened at home. My niece is extremely bright and was 3.5years old and told us what happened. It was an accident with another child but instead of them dealing with it they sent her home without reporting to parents etc. My niece was removed elrifht away and complaints escalated.

I know they are short staffed but quality is still needed with these little people.
Did you DS sat why he had held it?
My DS is quiet chatty about what's upsets him and even if not right away he will let me know after a bit. Maybe try get his side of things.

I thought YABU until the bit about him 'deciding to do it on the floor when the toilet is right there' comment. Thta would really annoy me, he wet himself (which is fine) it would really upset me if someone said it like that.

On the off chance this is real…

Don’t put your very small child in any clothes with buttons. Easy pull up and down leggings/tracksuit bottoms/shorts are much better.

The staff were not negligent. They explained what happened and why.

It’s not “sent toilet”. He was sent to the toilet.

@Lockdownmama2021 you really need to catch yourself when you’re at home. Resist doing it for him. Show him how to pull his pants down etc. You mention buttons. He shouldn’t be wearing anything with buttons on the bottom half. He needs joggers or shorts with elasticated waistbands

Did you express this needs to happen ans for how long? Have you told them what happens at home?
Accidents happen also not a big deal. I remember having the odd one here and there even at age 5/6.

In regards to the environment not being the right place for him that could be very true. Is he quiet talkative. Are you able to talk to him to see what is happening.

Yes, this! Imagine if you had twins or a baby or several older children - it just wouldn't be possible. My child is just turned 3 so I'm not forgetting what it's like at that age; she goes to the loo by herself and has done since before age 2.5. Are you returning to the thread at all OP?

Did he have trousers he couldn’t manage by himself today?