Afternoon Tea - how can anyone eat it all?

@Gymmum82 please tell us more about this momentous ocassion.

Went for afternoon tea today with my mum. We did a great job of demolishing most of this - but did take 4 cakes home in a box.
We each had: 4 finger sandwiches, large scone, jam & cream, fresh strawberry, cut each of the cakes in half to share - lemon meringue, brownie, berry tartlet and a pear & ginger slice. About 5 cups of tea.

bloody lovely it was. But have also done a swim, yoga class and long walk today but I expect nowhere enough to burn the calories off.

it’s a rare treat so I don’t care 🤷🏼‍♀️

@AIstolemylunch
When I go I dont have breakfast or lunch (and rarely have dinner). I can normally eat a scone, one of all the cakes and one of all the types of finger smadwiches.

That’s all you eat in a 24 hour period?

Just eat what you want to eat and ask for a box to take the remaining home in. I love an afternoon tea but generally they are small cakes etc. generally I won’t have had lunch or an evening meal if I’ve been for afternoon tea

It's not an example of disordered eating to not be able to finish an afternoon tea! I grew up on massive portions and still prefer larger portions, have a massive sweet tooth but can't eat afternoon tea in one go as the cakes are way too sweet for one sitting (for me, everyone is different after all). Can usually eat the sandwiches but part of the fun for me is saving some for later. And the setting and the company of course!

This is hilarious.

You are a trooper. Good on ya.

😂 it's such a burden being so dainty!

Are you being controversial? Of course you will finish it off? If not, shove it in your handbag.

I once went to a Hen party afternoon tea at Browns in Mayfair and it was unbelievable, they kept bringing out more of everything then when we were all stuffed they brought in full size cakes. Lots of fancy leftovers boxes were packed up that day!

I've had afternoon tea twice. I took my mum to Brown's in Oxford for her birthday in 2016 (before she became pre-diabetic 😞) and where she gave me all her sandwiches/rolls because I had a long journey home, 😅 and then in 2019 when my friend took me on a day out to Sandringham and we had afternoon tea there. Think I was the only Brit there, everyone else was American. 😆 Managed to eat everything both times, but I do have a massive appetite. 😋

I think you're getting a really hard time to be fair OP so I'm going to give you a real answer.

First of all it's all in the prep. About three months before your afternoon tea (earlier if possible) find yourself an insane boot camp thread on MN.

Follow the strict advice for the three months leading up to said date (you know, eat a lot of dust, that sort of thing).

Eat NOTHING for the 48 hours before the gluttonous feast (though you can suck on an ice cube if you're desperate, as long as you spit out the meltings).

On the day, swathe yourself in scarves and a large hat so as not to be recognisable to those with normal appetites.

Attend event. Gorge on afternoon tea but please note that you may find yourself silently weeping as you do so and you may have to pop to the toilet to flagellate yourself occasionally with a celery stick (save the celery - I'll come back to it later).

After ordeal, proceed as fast as your now enormous bulk will allow you to the nearest Catholic Church (note: members of the public may shriek and jump into bushes/oncoming traffic in horror as you thunder past).

Ask priest for absolution. (This may not be granted. He may also vomit. Holy water may evaporate).

Go home and retire, crying and shaking on floor. (Bed will no longer take your weight. Floor may bulge).

In about a month's time, your poor body may finally have processed the rancid sewage from your sweating, living corpse.

At this point you may suck on the celery stick you saved earlier.

some are bigger portions than others, they always have cardboard boxes to take left overs home

As a change from Afternoon Tea we had a Beforenoon Tea at the Assembly House Norwich, it was amazing, so much to take home too and we're not in any way performance undereaters!

Not a huge sweet tooth here either although I love endless sandwiches and donate my cakes if needed. But I’m not far off a big birthday and saving up for the Fortnums savoury version.

Do me a favour, I’d be more worried about leaving hungry. The individual items are always tiny - I personally always make sure I don’t go to these things hungry. Also why do people worry about there being ‘too much’ food, just don’t eat it, what’s the drama? My mum (irrationally interested in portion sizes and how much everyone is eating) saw a pain aux raisin arrive at the table next to us (having ordered one herself) and loudly proclaimed ‘oh goodness I hope mine’s not that big!’ 🙄 massive eye roll. Just don’t eat it. Why would anyone worry about having too much food? It’s a non-problem.

I could've eaten double what I had at the Ritz. Totally tiny!

As are the sandwiches, two normal slices of bread would make 8 tiny finger sandwiches, the cakes are on the same scale.

They're supposed to be small cakes - you know, elegant? Maybe you're looking at a trashy afternoon tea.

It was wasteful. I've never had an afternoon tea anywhere, where you can't ask for a box to take it with you.

I don't understand the "eat all that much". People eat 2 or even 3 course lunches. The amount of food is no more than at a lunch.

I’ve gone off afternoon tea completely. It’s too much cake and not enough actual food, so you come away feeling both a bit sick and not satisfied.

😂

Afternoon tea is the most overrated non sense anyway!

The cakes are usually tiny and whenever I've done it I've just had breakfast and no lunch, and you can eat slowly over a couple of hours