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Original poster

Afternoon Tea - how can anyone eat it all?

483 replies

wasntlikethisinthegoodolddays · 05/06/2024 12:43

I've been looking at things to do next weekend. Looked on Wowcher, Groupon etc. A regular offer is Afternoon Tea for two. Whilst it looks lovely, they regularly feature about 6 sandwich corners each, a few savoury items and FOUR cakes each. I love my food, and I like cake, but there's no way I could eat all of that in one sitting. Can anyone eat four cakes in a row? Are we meant to take a doggy bag?

OP posts:
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JohnSt1 · 05/06/2024 18:26

I went to afternoon tea at Brown's Hotel in London a few years ago. Anything I ate was immediately replaced. I didn't need to eat for the rest of the day. Because everything was so tiny, I could continue on stuffing myself with "just one more".

Normally if I stuff myself I'm hungry after a couple of hours. This time I really overdid it. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn't have that uncomfortable stuffed feeling either. I think it turned my stomach into a TARDIS.

Angelil · 05/06/2024 18:25

We do a brunch first, then afternoon tea.
Light supper in the evening only if anything at all.
You just reconfigure your day. It’s not rocket science 🤷‍♀️

TheRainItRaineth · 05/06/2024 18:20

I haven't got a particularly big appetite, but I've never had a problem with an afternoon tea. The sandwiches and cakes are usually really tiny, and also really delicious. A good afternoon tea is a fantastic meal. Also, somehow everything being different makes it easier to eat more of it!

ControlShiftDelete · 05/06/2024 18:19

I usually don't eat the cakes as im more of a savoury person but can just about manage a scone. I love the sandwiches though and would eat crates of it. For me personally, I don't eat breakfast on the day and don't eat dinner after having afternoon tea as it's very filling.

RubaiyatOfAnyone · 05/06/2024 18:19

The cakes are v.small, usually two bites and they’re gone.

if you rephrase this as “how can anyone POSSIBLY eat 8 mouthfuls of cake!!?!” you’ll see how possible it actually is.

Miley1967 · 05/06/2024 18:17

Most have four little sandwiches and I usually end up bringing a piece of cake home with me as there is always too much cake !

WhiteLily1 · 05/06/2024 18:14

I find most afternoon teas a complete swizz - 4 strips of sandwich. A few tiny cakes 1 bite size. And one scone. I have it as lunch but it’s usually very underwhelming unless going somewhere posh and paying £100 per head

Horsemother · 05/06/2024 18:09

I bloody love a nice afternoon tea, and so does my American DP. Part of the fun is being presented with a little box to take any leftovers home in.
I'm size 6/8 (sizing being so stupid these days) and he's trim too. Indulging once in a while isn't going to kill anyone. 😂
(I love how threads like this bring out the competetive under-eaters).

Rubbishconfession · 05/06/2024 18:07

Anxiousheartbeat · 05/06/2024 18:05

Is this for real? Most places refill the plates until you’ve had enough. I have always deleted all the food and had at least 1 more plate. It’s several finger slices not several whole sandwiches. And mini scones and mini cakes. It’s not like you’re given 4 Colin the caterpillars.

and now I’m off to make some cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches. Thx OP

Most places refill the plates until you’ve had enough.

Really? I've had A LOT of afternoon teas and no place has ever done this. Tea/coffee yes, but not food.

Anxiousheartbeat · 05/06/2024 18:06

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 05/06/2024 17:15

Is this the first time you’ve been on MN? Because anyone that eats food, small, normal or large portions, gets a load of shit thrown at them r
I got called grotesque for eating a share size bag of malteasers recently.

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But Malteasers are just air?!

Anxiousheartbeat · 05/06/2024 18:05

Is this for real? Most places refill the plates until you’ve had enough. I have always deleted all the food and had at least 1 more plate. It’s several finger slices not several whole sandwiches. And mini scones and mini cakes. It’s not like you’re given 4 Colin the caterpillars.

and now I’m off to make some cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches. Thx OP

Isometimeswonder · 05/06/2024 18:02

Stay at home and have half a carrot and a raisin for dessert.

Bassetlover · 05/06/2024 18:01

Gymmum82 · 05/06/2024 12:56

I once ate a tray of 12 Krispy Kreme donuts so yeah. I’d manage just fine

I like your style! 👏

NasiDagang · 05/06/2024 17:59

ClaudiaWinklepanda · 05/06/2024 12:51

You're forgetting "stuffing", "gobbling" and the mention of the starving 6 foot rugby playing son.

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😁

CharityShopFinds · 05/06/2024 17:58

They really are a rip offf. £20+ when you could have a lovely main course.*

It’s not a ripoff if you enjoy it, which I do and I like having a variety of things to eat.

Sasqwatch · 05/06/2024 17:56

I think you need to cut down on your ‘massive salads’ for a fortnight before OP so you have room.

fashionqueen0123 · 05/06/2024 17:54

I’ve never eaten it all. The scones are so filling I can’t eat like 3 cakes after that!

greengreyblue · 05/06/2024 17:51

They really are a rip offf. £20+ when you could have a lovely main course.

dicokno · 05/06/2024 17:46

Afternoon teas are a rip off at the best of times so if you really don't think you can manage to eat it all why the fuck not, the cakes and sandwiches are very small save yourself the bother and expense and spend the money on something that you are actually going to make full use of.

HereILayStillAndBreathless · 05/06/2024 17:43

Never been to one. If the cakes are tiny as people here say, I can eat 4 in a row no bother. If they're 'big slabs', I can still eat 4 in a row, minus the sandwiches then. Massive sweet tooth, can polish off remarkable quantities (but don't). I'm nowhere near overweight, for reference.

NImumconfused · 05/06/2024 17:32

LarryLanyard · 05/06/2024 17:25

I hate it when my scones are messed around with like that ;-)

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Each to their own! 😀

My English FIL used to love coming to visit us to try all the weird scones.

Greenlittecat · 05/06/2024 17:30

User353526 · 05/06/2024 14:01

YANBU, I was thinking the same thing yesterday. Even though portion sizes are smaller than a full meal, it's still a huge amount of carbs to be eating in one sitting. Eg for breakfast you would never eat 5 rolls in one sitting but all the sandwiches, scones and cakes would easily add up to that.

Saw a random Tiktok for the Dinosaur Afternoon Tea at the Amsterdam Hotel yesterday, which seems designed with children in mind (??). It looks delightful but the sugar content seems off the charts. After the cakes & scones, you get a tin of chocolate cake crumbs and you have to dig through that to find chocolate dinosaurs.

Tbh afternoon tea seems like a fancy way to justify wild over-indulgence. Totally fine in moderation or special occasions but it's definitely not normal to normalise the amount of calories served (or judging by the replies here, expected to be consumed) in one sitting. That's why half the country is obese.

Thankfully you are here to educate those ghastly, slobby, obese people letting their children have a treat

LarryLanyard · 05/06/2024 17:25

NImumconfused · 05/06/2024 16:50

I know, it probably wouldn't really be and afternoon tea without the scone, but here in NI we're used to our scones being interesting (raspberry and white chocolate, date and walnut, pear and cinnamon etc) and an afternoon tea never seems to come with anything other than plain or fruit.

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I hate it when my scones are messed around with like that ;-)

Februaryfeels · 05/06/2024 17:25

Not only could I scoff/polish off/inhale an afternoon tea, I could also manage a high tea (with steak pie and toast)

DistressedDamson · 05/06/2024 17:24

I’m lol-ing so much at this thread:
“mouth sized quiches”
”focus on the cakes”
”There’s a technique…”

Ive found my people 🤣🤣🤣

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