Would you be ok with Dh taking dc on a flight for the first time

Is there a reason to worry like he might not return?

Of course!

I would have missed my children but I wouldn’t have been worried. My children’s dad is capable of looking after them, comforting them and dealing with anything that would come up. The chances of anything bad happening are so tiny that it’s not worth thinking of.

No.

But would you consider a babysitter for a few hours on a Saturday morning?

A mother's helper even, to come and play with DD while you put your feet up or get some ironing done?

Hopefully, she will have a new baby sibling in a few months, and it would be a good idea to introduce a helper/ companion for her to ease into the reality of mummy being very busy with feeding and caring for the baby, and too knackered to take her to the park, etc.

I mean this kindly...

Is it possible that your losses have had a deep impact on you and on your response to the prospect of separation?

Would you say you have developed anxiety as a result of those losses? Do you have a tendency to 'wrap DD in cotton wool'? A tendency toward overprotectiveness? A tendency to be anxious about her?

If something happens...
You can't always be there for your child. Accidents and hurt feelings can happen any time in a childs life. You are not going to be there to help with a skinned knee or when a nasty word is spoken in the playground, or when a teacher's tone upsets her.

It is very good for a child to learn to face difficulties without mum or dad there to offer comfort. It is very good for a child to learn to trust other adults to hear her if she's in distress and care for her. It is very good for a child to learn to advocate for herself - "Miss A, I'm feeling sick", "My knee is bleeding and I need a plaster", "Someone called me a horrible name amd hurt my feelings", "I don't like the scary parts in films", "Thank you for tea, Mrs A, is it OK if I don't eat the peas?"...

I believe I can see a vestige of the feelings you may have experienced when you suffered your losses there in that fear. Have you forgiven yourself for your losses? Mothers can often carry around a burden of guilt over pregnancy loss.

She’s 5, she would be fine. As much as it might hurt to think they can’t cope without mum, they can. Let her go. Your DH should have every right to take his child to see family

I don't worry at all. DH will be looking after DS5 for 3 days next week and 2 days the week after. My in-laws have had him for a few days and they live 200 miles away.

She will be OK if you can manage to pull yourself together and be positive and excited about the upcoming big adventure.

If you spend your time between now and the day of the trip fretting and anxious, she won't be fine.

It's up to you and your approach.

Pack with her. Show her how pleased you are that she's going to go on a plane, see new things, and spend some lovely time with daddy. Give her a big, happy kiss to see her off. Tell her you can't wait to see her back and hear all about her trip.

Then fall apart again if you must, but in a place where she can't see or hear it.

Miss them, yes. Worry, no.

She could easily be separated from you for longer than that in about eight months' time - and hopefully her Dad will be with you for at some of that.

It's a good practice run, rather than the first time it happens being when you bring home a sibling.

Of course I’d miss them. I’m sure they’d miss me. But they’d be fine with their dad. And i Wouldn’t want my child to miss out on this because of my feelings. I’d be happy for them to go because I love them. Because that’s what I think you’re implying. Your bond is so special and other mothers don’t have the same. 🙄

No, it’s not weird. You either do it or you don’t. The odd child-free night or weekend has always been a big thing for us from when ours were about 6 months, but that’s just our normal. Not right or wrong.

I'd only be put out and not happy with it I'd they wer going to see family I'd never met before otherwise I'd be fine.
Is she looking forward to it? I hope she doesn't pick up on your anxiety.

Many, many couples don't because they can't afford it, don't have childcare, children (or they) have additional needs. Not having a weekend away is really very common. We have just had our first in about 18 years, I thought this was unusual until I mentioned it to friends. They all said the same, not since having kids.

The child will be with her father - and no other family members, no doubt all making a fuss of her.
She will have a fantastic time.
If a 5 year old has never spent a night or two away from her mother, then it's about time she did - who wants a clingy child?

Have you and your husband not had a weekend away in 5 years?

Of course I would miss her. But sounds like a lovely opportunity to spend time with her dad and meet new family. Ideally we would all but as you can't go i think still nice for dh and dd to go. Expect it will be a while until you and new baby can go too so seems a shame to dealy them.

@Tomisstheolddays

Would no one else be worried and miss their child 🙈maybe I have issues,

No one is saying they wouldn't miss their child or wouldn't worry. Of course Mums miss their DC when they're away and there is always a normal amount of 'worry'. We're saying that as long as the child is safe with their dad there's no reason to be 'freaked out' level worried.

Considering you're expecting (congratulations and best wishes) now is a perfect time for DD to go with her dad. They'll form a closer bond and she will be less dependent on you. This will 'free you up' for the time a newborn needs because she'll be content to let dad keep her occupied.

If he is a competent and involved father, which I would hope he is, it’s fine.

Unless I missed a post, the OP is not separated from her DH?

It means the child won't be away for 3 days, the child will still be with one of the parents. Bit different from sending them to a grand-parent for 3 days for the very first time.

Of course

I would rather be there tbh. If they've never been away 3 days would seem a very long time for both of you. Is there no way you could go?

Are you her primary carer, OP?
I can understand how you feel if you're the one who's done most bed times, stories, day trips, sorting out of everything.
She's still pretty young.
It sounds like your only concern is her missing you and you missing her.
The latter you just have to suck up really, for the former then I'd have a trial night away. Her and your DH go away for a night locally.

You'll miss her more than she'll miss you! She's 5 so not a baby and she'll be with her father and meeting other relatives who will no doubt make a fuss of her. I know it's hard to be separated but try not to show your feelings to her, send her off excited and happy and make the most of the free time to do something nice for yourself while they're away. It will fly in.