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Original poster

To hate when people say a baby is ‘flirting’

83 replies

Jaexo · 04/06/2024 21:40

What’s everyone’s opinion on this?
I was recently round my in laws for all of my DH’s family to meet out LO, after going to a family member and being passed to the next one LO was cooing and smiling, the first family member then said ‘oh she’s such a little flirt’ and continued making comment like this multiple times as she went to each person - I think it’s a really weird, what’s everyone else opinion’s?

OP posts:
Mellville · 05/06/2024 10:41

One of the Grandmas who did pick up at DC1's nursery used to always call her Grandson sexy,
"here comes sexy legs" if he was wearing shorts or "where's Nana's sexy boy" 🤮
Even now the DC are in their 20's she posts on fb about her hunky grandson.

My Sisters PIL was always talking about DN's 'boobies' and sexy legs. DSIS told him multiple times he sounds like a creep, but he doesn't get the message.

Berlinlover · 05/06/2024 09:50

I’ve never heard anyone say this but I agree it’s awful.

DoYouSmokePaul · 05/06/2024 09:48

I remember cringing throughout my entire childhood as my parents constantly brought up the fact that when we were on a camping holiday and I was 4, I danced with a little French boy at the campsite disco. Acting as though we were Romeo and Juliet “oh you liked him so much, didn’t want the disco to end”.

And I couldn’t even remember the situation let alone give a shit about this kid who was apparently my fucking soul mate. It honestly put me off
telling my family about relationships when I was older. It made me so uncomfortable that they projected adult feelings and thoughts onto my innocent 4-year-old self who was probably just enjoying dancing to the Birdie Song.

Comtesse · 05/06/2024 09:41

Never heard that - kind of gross tbh…..

JamSandle · 05/06/2024 09:41

My best friend when I was 5 was a boy. We used to cuddle in bed together. Totally innocent. Thankfully noone ever called him my boyfriend!

Sahara123 · 05/06/2024 09:39

I’m over 60 and I can still remember being “ teased” about my boyfriend when I was about 5 . By my parents ! I had no idea what they were talking about , I still remember the uncomfortable feeling though .

Sarah2891 · 05/06/2024 09:39

Gross. And if I heard anyone calling a baby sexy I'd think they were a paedo.

JamSandle · 05/06/2024 09:35

I've never heard anyone call a baby or child s**y. Whyyyyy would you? 🤢

GreekVases · 05/06/2024 09:27

DaytripperShoes · 05/06/2024 09:24

  • as well as the sexual connotations I hate this idea that babies and toddlers are manipulative: 'she's flirting', 'oh she's got you wrapped around her little finger'; 'he's playing you'. They really don't have the foresight or intellectual planning abilities -they have needs they are trying to get met whether for connection or attention or sweets. Your job is to work out what the needs are and meet them or distract if it would be harmful for them. FFS

This.

Babies and toddlers are just into having their needs met, not having learned deferred gratification yet.

DaytripperShoes · 05/06/2024 09:24
  • as well as the sexual connotations I hate this idea that babies and toddlers are manipulative: 'she's flirting', 'oh she's got you wrapped around her little finger'; 'he's playing you'. They really don't have the foresight or intellectual planning abilities -they have needs they are trying to get met whether for connection or attention or sweets. Your job is to work out what the needs are and meet them or distract if it would be harmful for them. FFS
Edenmum2 · 05/06/2024 08:40

BroughttoyoubyBerocca · 04/06/2024 21:45

Also describing little girls, toddler age as “sexy”. Wtaf?

Eh? Surely nobody really says this without being an out and proud paedophile?

Trunkybum · 05/06/2024 07:06

BroughttoyoubyBerocca · 04/06/2024 21:45

Also describing little girls, toddler age as “sexy”. Wtaf?

Who the fuck does that?!?!

CuttingMeOpenthenHealingMeFine · 05/06/2024 07:06

I have only ever heard this on Mumsnet, I would 100% have went mental if anyone had said any of the things on this thread about either of my babies.

Babaquestions · 05/06/2024 07:05

I've literally never heard someone calling a baby or child sexy, a flirt etc. I'd go no contact with those creeps.

PickupperPenguin · 05/06/2024 07:03

My mum used to call my younger sister ‘sexy legs’ and chase her while doing it. Unfortunately there was a whole load of other weird, inappropriate behaviour from her too, although I think (hope?) most people who use this language about small children are just not thinking.

SoupChicken · 05/06/2024 06:56

I hate the “who’s your boyfriend” crap from PIL, my DD is really shy so they can see it makes her uncomfortable yet every fucking time it’s “who’s your boyfriend?” Or if she mentions a school friend “he must be your boyfriend” ewww, no, she’s five get a grip!

I always shut them down but they couldn’t take a hint if it was tied to a brick and thrown through their window.

echt · 05/06/2024 01:39

This sexualising of babies is beyond awful Bleurgghhh.

Well, children full stop, and I mean clothing as well as comments.

VivienneDelacroix · 05/06/2024 01:10

BroughttoyoubyBerocca · 04/06/2024 21:45

Also describing little girls, toddler age as “sexy”. Wtaf?

Yes.

Both make me feel sick.

Alwaysgothiccups · 05/06/2024 01:09

I think some people don't necessarily correlate the word flirt with sexuality tho do they?
I mean in terms of the dictionary definition it's not only about sexuality. It's "a charming or playful appeal"
I think when older people use the word they don't think of trying to get sexual attention they just think of charming an audience.. which would make sense for a baby

amyshep · 05/06/2024 01:02

My mum (84) used to say it about my DC. Grim. I don't like most of the tripe that comes out of her mouth tbh

Foostit · 05/06/2024 00:39

This was definitely a thing when my DC were small. Mothers at soft play parties saying ‘Who’s a sexy boy!’ to their toddler! WTF? 🤢 So weird and totally inappropriate.

Thesunisanorange · 05/06/2024 00:34

LoveBluey · 04/06/2024 22:18

That is a strange way to talk about a child.

Not experienced that but have had lots of comments about my 2 DDs breaking lots of boys hearts when they are older or having lots of attention from boys / fighting them off. It always makes me feel uncomfortable. They are only 3 & 6 so really not sure why people can't just say they are pretty (if they feel they must comment on their appearance)

because a lot of people in society see it as the ultimate achievement to be “batting off men”

I will occasionally comment on how cute a friends kid when they’re little but as they grow older for the most part, I try and talk about how smart and kind and funny they are and compliment them on that.

Thesunisanorange · 05/06/2024 00:30

Yeah I don’t like it either. A former friend of mine said she taught her toddler daughters (2 and 3 at the time) to bat their eyelids at waiters etc to get better service.

I said what are you teaching them as they grow older and apply those tactics of batting their eyelids at male teachers, bosses etc?

WinterMorn · 05/06/2024 00:27

You need to say something every single time your MIL does this.

CriticalThinker · 04/06/2024 23:45

MIL does the same, and the weird “girlfriend” thing too, to our two. It’s so gross.

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