Ds 8...help anyone?

Thank you. That's helpful

At school, if teaching a class who had to copy a chunk from the board I would print out a copy so students could have 1 per table to copy directly from or I would print out a gap fill copy with some comprehension questions or a similar task for those who weren't writing the whole thing out, so they had the information but had a task to take up some time.

If giving directions for an experiment (science teacher) explain it, demo with words, demo again without words. Method written/ drawn on a mini white board on the table for students that need it.

For DD visual routine when younger, as she hot older I WhatsApp her jobs to her and she works through it. For things like 'Tidy room' I got her to use Goblin Tools website to break the task down and printed and laminated the sheet so she can work through it independently.

I think it's probably easier to offer support at Secondary school. Primary are so focused on teaching the basic skills and many of those areas children struggle with many of them will grow out of with time as children develop at different rates. Whereas at Secondary, I really don't care if little Sammy writes joined up as long as I can read it. If he has large handwriting and wants to leave every other line that's fine, if he can write perfectly well but not joined up that's fine, if he wants to draw out his method instead of write it,that's fine providing he uses a pencil, ruler and the correct scientific diagrams, if he needs a word processor that's fine although slightly awkward and relies on the tech being up to scratch, WiFi etc.

@Singleandproud can you give some examples of the type of adjustments made? What specifically did you change. I have a dd who's very similar but school doesn't see any issues.

My 8 year old can't follow more than one instruction at a time but she does have ASD. Saying that my NT 11 year old isn't much better but can at least manage to do both when asked to put his shoes and coat on.

Ds8 needs constant reminders in the morning too . He will be half way putting an item of clothing on and become distracted . I don’t think he would notice if he went to school in his pyjamas. If I give him more than 1 instruction at a time he gets a bit flustered and asks for them
one at a time . He is not grumpy but can be emotional.

Could be normal 8 year behaviour.

Could be ADHD/Dyspraxia. Keep communicating with the school, they will know if it crosses the line of ‘normal’ behaviour.

I’d try breaking this down a bit more. Only ask one thing at a time from him. Then he’s more likely to succeed and can be praised rather than always getting things a bit wrong.

If he can’t find things help him learn to look. So if he says ‘I can’t see it’ go back into the room with him and direct him without telling him and he will learn eventually.

Giving him a checklist might be useful in the mornings so he can tick off what he has done and what comes next.

Maybe he’s got some ADHD/ dyslexia etc but he’s still the same child and working very slowly on gaining organisation skills will help. He’s also very young so don’t expect too much.

Yes, 'won't' and 'can't' are tricky aren't they and hard to separate.

There are also many conditions which most parents have never heard of in they don't work in education beyond the common, autism, ADHD and dyslexia like Executive functioning, working memory or processing issues, dyspraxia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia etc.

My DD is so academically clever that it really frustrates me when she can't do seemingly simple tasks, like go to student reception to ask for her coat back that she lost, or to hand in her trip letter but can then sit and do A level / university level school work before even starting her GCSEs but that's the 'tism.

I think this is very normal, sadly. My 11 year old is exactly like this. It's infuriating. I have raised the issue of ADHD with teachers because she is very easily distracted (but also very good at paying attention when it's something she enjoys). Teachers have all said they have no concerns about ADHD. I think it's just that getting ready and out the door on time in the morning is both boring and stressful. It is for adults too.

I have a similar age DS who does all these things too. So far as I know he is NT and these are just his personality traits for now. But if you are worried about ADHD I think you should speak to your GP. Make a list of everything that concerns you and speak to his teacher again too.

Here’s on dyspraxia:

@Singleandproud
I wasn't the best parent myself before I realised not that he won't... He can't. Takes a while to grasp the discrepancy when someone is so quick with maths and can spell without memorising and yet can't hold the scissors.
He gets extra lessons for handwriting but we are also starting on typing - maybe that will be easier.

But anyone thinking ADHD should also look into dyspraxia - there's so much overlap!

This sounds very much like a normal eight-year-old to me.

@QueenCamilla it's worth talking to school about it, and if they don't do anything the High school when he moves up. These issues can impact his ability to learn successfully as academic expectations increase if the right adjustments aren't put in place. Often the adjustments are very simple but make a world of difference both to academics but also a child's self esteem if they just think they are slower than everyone else/ thick/ stupid whatever the word of the day is.

Common in our house too, DD has autism but it's more of a working memory and processing problem than anything. Common in children with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or none of those. It has no relation on intellect but can impact how you deal with manipulating information in your head DD is extremely gifted, particularly in maths and can do very complex problems written down but ask her a simple multiplication or to add two two-digit numbers and she'll struggle or use her fingers. Same with spelling, excellent speller on paper, struggles massively out loud.

Visual pictures instead of verbal instructions world when she was younger even if it's things she does everyday.

Now she's older I WhatsApp her a list of things she needs to do and she works her way through the list without being nagged.

One of the key signs in school is following a list of instructions but missing half the steps, struggling to copy from the board as by the time you've read it and looked down to write it you've forgotten the start of the sentence. In this case it's better to have the teacher print out a copy of the PowerPoint in advance if there is a particularly long section of copying so he can copy from directly Infront of him. Or even 'fill the gap' exercises instead

My very bright and academic 10 year old is most of the time like this.
After thinking ADHD (I have it) I think he's more likely to be dispraxic. His fine motor skills are awful, draws like a toddler, bad handwriting, can't ride a bike etc. But with quite some effort we can overcome the obstacles so I just support him the best I can.

Love your user name 🤣 @RaginaPhalange

Getting b and d confused is common. I asked the teacher when my DD was in year 1 so age 6/7.

DD7 is like this, has been suggested being assessed for ADHD by every teacher she's had since nursery, being assessed this year as wanted to see if she grew out of certain things.

He sounds like my son. Constantly distracted and never able to complete a list of jobs. Get your shoes, bag and coat would result him coming back with one and if lucky two! He was diagnosed with visual processing disorder in year 4.

My younger brother was like this. Would ‘pop out’ but because he couldn’t find his keys he’d just go out and leave front door wide open!!
He used to get sent to shops for 2 items and would come back with different items All together. Be sent upstairs for two things and only remember one. Couldn’t remember spellings. My mum was told he had a form of dyslexia which affected short term memory. Never formerly diagnosed though as kids weren’t back then

Sounds pretty typical 8 year old behaviour to me. DS is older and can still be like that ( no additional needs). DD less so but she was trickier in other ways.

My 8 year old son is so similar that I've sent this to my husband.

The only different is he doesn't get particularly grumpy, but he can be so fucking emotional!

I think he's just not fucking listening, which he gets from his dad. I can ask him to put his toothbrush away and do his mouthwash and he will "forget" the mouthwash in those 3 seconds. He hasn't forgotten. He just wasn't listening.

I'm finding he's getting better as I tell him go look at me and focus when I'm talking. And we stick to a routine so he knows what's expected.

Weirdly, we've recently added that he needs to make his bed every morning and he very rarely needs to be reminded of this one - he just does it.

The moaning about going to the shops sounds normal, as he is still really little and of course doesn't want to do boring stuff.
The struggling with following instructions sounds like my dd who has SEN though. If school are noticing this is good, as it is something you can discuss with them and see if they would make the referral for assessment.