Embarrassing Doctor Stories

Mine aren’t too bad, when I had gallstones removed and I was coming out of GA I kept saying “five more minties pwease” like a toddler when I didn’t want to wake up.

the doctor mentioned it when he came to check on me later although I think part of it is that minties for minutes is Aberdonian/Scottish and I was down in England at the time

Ouch that sounds painful. You poor thing, very impressive though! When people say bowl I automatically think of like a bowl you do the washing up in 😱I hope it was no where near that size!

When the midwife came to do our post discharge checks, she wanted to check my c section incision.

At the time I was wearing a dressing gown and some of those disposable sanitary pants.

What I did in my sleep deprived state was stand up and fully strip off, but it was a bit clunky because I was tired and achey and stiff. She looked at me a bit puzzled, and said "you could have just lifted up your gown but its healing nicely" and suddenly I realised that I'd just strip teased this poor midwife, and then I had to get dressed again, so I picked everything up and took myself to the bathroom and she tried to save it by saying "don't worry I've seen everything now".

I wanted to walk into the bathroom and never come out again.

I’m howling 🤣🤣🤣

It happens if you forget there's already one in, and put another in, so the first one gets pushed up along with its string.

Tears spurting out my eyes at panpipe rash. It's absolutely fantastic. Also love the coco pops one. Would have been so tempted to sing the song if I was the Doctor 😂

Drug names are generally made up words or based in ancient latin or greek, or a combination of all those things, and don't really have a proper pronunciation (or if they actually do, most folk wouldn't know it!). I wouldn't worry about it!

Took dd2 to the doctors when she was about 18 months and poorly. During the consult the doctor went to put his hand on her head just as I leaned down to kiss her on the top of her head ended up kissing his hand. He couldn't stop apologising. I couldn't stop laughing 😩

Went for smear, nurse said, "have you hit something up there," me,"err...no!" turns out it was an ancient tampon.,she removed it and ti say it was malodorous is an understatement. I just used ti always forget I had tampons in and would sometimes find three strings and be rather surprised.

Probably a horse rider, we develop very strong pelvic floor muscles . . .

This one killed me too! 😅😅😅

I’m paranoid about my moles and developing skin cancer so went to the doctor’s about a new, slightly raised one that had appeared on the back of my shoulder. The doctor prodded it a bit and confirmed my worst fears - I’d just made a complete tit of myself by presenting her with a large blackhead to squeeze.

Oh no I can definitely see how you would do it in those circumstances! Glad your DD was ok! I get so paranoid it'll happen to me one day when I'm in a rush or something.

Crying actual tears at this! 🤣

Many many years ago my Mum and Dad were on a motorcycle and were involved in an accident due to an elderly man stepping out in front of them. They were ok but had to be medically assessed. The doc asked my Mum if she was on the pillion at the time of the accident to which she replied she wasn’t taking contraception 😂😂😂

You know the appointment you have with the HV after you've had your baby and she wants to know what contraception you're planning on using?

Well, I was at an appointment with the nurse after saying I'd like to go back on the pill. I needed blood pressure and all that done.

Anyway, I was more knackered than usual as I'd just had twins, husband back at work, no car - and to top it off I'd woken late so threw the closest joggers and sweatshirt on and ran up to the surgery.

It wasn't until after my appointment I realised the teeny tiny vest top I'd worn for bed had my enormous milky veiny tits hanging out the bottom while the nurse did my blood pressure they've always been saggy and so they must have just looked like sad little doggy noses poking out.

That was 15 years ago and I still blush when I remember it!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@TheSock Do you have a retroverted uterus like me? I had years of them never finding my cervix during a smear, until I had a midwife/nurse tell me to ask for a long speculum in future. Never had issues ever since and they usually find it quickly now!

And the slippers slapping against the wall! omg I've had THE worst day. .thanks so much for this thread!

just spluttered drink out of my nose over the panpipes with the rash

16 years old and admitted to hospital with what turned out to be appendicitis. Every single doctor or nurse who saw me wanted to ask if I there was a chance I was pregnant, but kept taking me away from my mum to do it incase I was too embarrassed to say in front of her. Every time it happened it felt like my mum couldn’t find me again for ages (though she was probably buying a coffee or something tbf).
After about the 6th time a doctor came towards me and I just shouted ‘I’ve never even had sex’. Turns out this doctor wasn’t going to ask me that….

Do you know, I think it was! I'm as blind as a bat without my glasses on, freaked out when I saw this large red lump by my foot. The nurse picked it up very gingerly, guess it was the smell of strawberries that have it away.

Thought of another one that happened when I was in having the twins, not me thankfully.
Another lady had a cs with twins and had a catheter. For one reason or another her bag wasn't emptied and got very full. Eventually it got too heavy and burst, sending a tsunami of wee down the ward, taking the slippers of the lady in the next bed down with it, not stopping until they slapped against the wall. She was mortified. I laughed.

Yeah, I wish I hadn’t cared but I was at my most vulnerable and I really did. I just wanted bog standard normalcy to see me through the most undignified experience I’ve ever been through. Although, I think it was worse because three hours in, his shift ended. So he got all the grossness and none of the resultant beauty! I think the feeling of vulnerability is key. When you’re looking and feeling your absolute shittest, last thing you want is the antithesis of you!!

😂

Ive given birth 3 times so lots of embarrassing things have happened to me, but honestly the most cringe was being heavily pregnant. Hauling my giant self up onto the bed for the midwife to do the usual checks. She lifted up my top, looked a bit puzzled and then picked off a strip of cheese that had happened to get stuck under my bump and went unnoticed. How long it was there I have no idea. I had a small almost weaning baby at the time so I blamed her.

She just looked at me and gave me the cheese back then carried on while I almost died of shame.