Embarrassing Doctor Stories

People do sometimes try to buy pessaries for anal thrush. The pharmacist probably wanted to check so he could make sure your husband was buying an appropriate treatment.
Bit different from someone apparently prescribing "vaginal pessaries" to a man for a throat infection.

I sent my husband to buy me a pessary for thrush once, and he was asked 'if it was for his own use'.

I've remembered another thing that happened to me, I have told this before on here, but I guess it bears telling again...

I was at a hospital appointment for some stomach problem I was having, and the consultant asked 'is there anything else I should know about your health?'. Straightaway I replied 'well, I am diabetic'. Except ... I am not diabetic. I have never been diabetic. I have no idea what made me say it, nerves I suppose.

I immediately realised what I'd said and I had to say 'Oh! No I am not diabetic, silly me haha'. The consultant gave me a very odd look and stared hard at my notes. I felt so embarrassed. He must have thought I was one of those weird imaginary illness type people 😬

I had piles (yes lucky me) and it took ages to get a doctor's appointment, being non-urgent. He - an elderly gentleman who has since retired - gave me a rectal examination and then looked at me as if I was insane and said, 'there's nothing there Mrs Horsey but I hope you feel reassured now I've checked.' I was absolutely mortified. Clearly the issue had healed itself, but he obviously thought I was some weird fetishist who got off on having their bum probed!

This is the first one to make me laugh out loud 😂 brilliant

Do dentists count?

For over a decade I was unable to visit the same clinic more than once, due to a quite embarrassing reaction I had during the all-serious ceremony of the reclining of the chair.

My mounting anxiety combined with the ridiculousness of it all: that very slow tilting backwards that went so low you felt you were going to end up upside-down, that look of concern in the dentist's eyes, his face all swathed in mask and protective goggles... the knowledge that I was going to need to open my mouth wide enough for him to get in there with both hands. I invariably burst into uncontrollable cackles that were so loud I could be heard in reception.

A couple of guffaws then I'd calm down, dentist would do his bit and I'd rush out. Then find a new dentist I hadn't yet visited for my next consultation. It got to the point that I was driving for 45 minutes to get to a new clinic sometimes.

This happened to me but at a funeral. Nervous tummy. Wasn't a fart but a very lihd squeaky tummy in a room full of people being quiet and respectful.

I remember this! It was use of the word “minge” that cracked me up then and still does now 🤣

My orthodontist was very well to do. I guess on his fees he can afford to be! - as he took my fixed braces off I shouted fuck very loud... I did apologise but that it hurt a lot.... Was so embarrassed...

Not a smear - but I’ve been to the doctors as I had an awful smell - turns out it was a stuck tampon! Must have been in there for a month or more!! 😳😳 no idea how it even happened!!

@CJ0374 That’s interesting, I’ve never heard of that. I have a smear due so will definitely mention it to the nurse. Thank you!

I have 2 kids & when I expecting my 1st, the MW also struggled in the examination, she mentioned I could have a possible bicornuate uterus and put it in my notes. I googled it obviously 🙄 & all sorts of worrying things came up. I mentioned it to the consultant after a scan a week later and she said I didn’t have a bicornuate uterus, but my cervix could be tilted.

Hahahaha, love this.

Absolutely howling at this thread! 🤣

My osteopath said they are not allowed to say hello to you unless you say it first due to confidentiality, maybe it was something like that?

He was prescribed vaginal pessaries?

The usual old joke about suppositories is the patient being prescribed them, going back for a review and saying "They didn't help at all, Doc. For all the good they did, I might as well have shoved them up my arse"

Not at the doctors as such, it was when my mum came with me to an antenatal class and birth plans were being discussed. My mum is quite deaf and she said in her version of a whisper "They shaved you before giving birth in my day". I stupidly told her quietly they don't do that any more and there was nothing to shave on me anyway, which she announced to the class in another of her whispers "You've shaved yourself very early JL690".

Oh, I've just thought of another one! I was working on the gynae ward, cute young male Dr. Went to the bedside of a lovely lady in her 80s, she had had a hysterectomy. She said "when can I resume relations Dr?". Bless him,he thought she meant visit her relatives, and I had to explain.

Went to an orthopaedic appointment because I had suspected arthritis in my hip (confirmed now), and I thought I was wearing appropriate clothes - loose black t-shirt and some comfy gym leggings - unfortunately when I arrived I was asked to change and wear a gown instead. I was on my period so wasn't wearing my most flattering underwear, had a big bulky pad on and I hadn't shaved my legs in weeks! I was absolutely mortified. I had to lie on this hard bed and do all sorts of exercises, as you can imagine they were looking at my hips/legs the entire time. Luckily the doctor was lovely and obviously didn't care. But I wish I'd known to shave my legs!!!

I’m a doctor and was going to comment that I’ve never seen anything remotely embarrassing from a patient and it’s all just bodies etc but actually the panpipe rash would have me in (quiet internal) stitches!

Have a similar story. Fed my chickens some leftover beetroot. They of course got out that day and the neighbor thought they were seriously ill.

A few years ago my friend took her three year old daughter to the doctor with ear pain. The doctor (an older male) needed to look in her ear but her little girl was crying and didn't want him to.

My friend was trying to coax her daughter but she wasn't having it. So in desperation my friend thought she'd relate it to an episode of Peppa Pig they'd recently seen and said to her "Dr Brown Bear needs to look in Peppa's ear to make it all better". My friend then noticed the doctor furiously scowling at her - he was Asian and had clearly never seen Peppa Pig. My friend's apologies and attempts at explaining who Dr Brown Bear was just made things worse and she is still mortified to this day.

When I gave birth, my waters didn't break until minutes before he came out. The midwives were annoyed because they almost got one "In the Caul" but were splattered with amniotic fluid instead.

I started yelling "Water Water Everywhere But Not A Drop To Drink" and telling them I was quoting Hemingway. And that he wrote Moby Dick. I got seriously annoyed with anyone who told me otherwise. Wow, nitrous oxide is great stuff.

Ooh I bit a dentists finger once too! I blame him though - he asked me a question and I tried to answer it...

He was a great dentist though, and gently ribbed me about it in a lovely way, he was funny.

I'm pretty sure it's ac hazard of the job!

It's not personal, I'm sure.

Doctor's see a lot of people, every day. She will probably know your face, but there's every chance she won't immediately recall who you are and what your issues are - she won't have headspace to remember the ailments of every patient she sees.

It's much easier for her to avoid the conversation than to risk the chance of someone asking questions outside the clinic when she doesn't have their records in front of her.

I was telling my nurse about a spitting stitch that was stuck in my skin and wouldn't come out no matter how hard I pulled. She got a small pair of forceps, grabbed it and it glided out with zero resistance 🫠

Felt like a right knob 😅