Embarrassing Doctor Stories

Don’t worry, it happens
i am an ANP and saw a young man with a black rash who had been directed to our service by a pharmacist. Amazingly the black rash wiped off with a wet wipe. The give away clue was the rash stopped where his t shirt sleeves started, and his wet black coat was hung on the back of his chair
poor lad he was mortified whereas I was a bit concerned about the pharmacist who said he must attend 🤣🤣

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All the tampon stories, glad to know i'm not alone. Someone previously asked how it happens and honestly i have no idea how i forgot it was there! I'm not even a regular tampon user as i usually find them uncomfortable.

In my case i was sleeping in a toddler bed (lower than normal) and was trying to make my escape. I'd got to the position where i was sitting on the edge of the bed and it must of been something about the angle in that position but i suddenly felt something. Had a feel and pulled out an old tampon! It didn't even smell until i'd taken it out. I have PCOS and at that time maybe only had a period every 3 months or so, i have no idea how long it was there but i couldn't even remember my previous period so it was a long time!

Had a mole on my hand that I'd never noticed before. It was starting to itch and was a bit concerning so made an appointment to get it dealt with. Had to send in photos and measurements before hand so only spoke on the phone or sent texts before an actual face to face appointment. Doctors agreed it needed to be removed. Day before the appointment, the "mole" fell off. I'd completely forgotten I'd got hot glue from a glue gun on myself a few weeks before and the "mole" was, in fact, a scab.

Went for a sigmoidoscopy (camera up the bum) and got gowned up and lay on the bed. The nurse came through to insert camera and said ‘oh hello, you teach my daughter!’. I nearly died. I’m primary teacher.

Also I seem to always get a student male doctor when I go for intimate appointments. 6 week check after baby. GP said, oh your stitches are healing lovely and were well done. Could the student doctor take a look? So he did. Then she decided she might as well do my smear whilst she was down there.

Flock of students also appeared when I was giving birth. Just as the midwife decided baby was a little stuck and I needed epiesiotomy. Suddenly a flock of students appeared to watch the incision and the baby almost flying out and nearly being dropped. After being stitched up they all came to look at the wonderful stitches.

Not quite the same as thinking you’ve got something wrong but finding it’s something different. But still on the embarrassing side.

Haha 🤣 I still cringe (and clench!!!) all these years later!!! 😬

i think I did something similar in the early 90s but to be fair we were raised on adverts of gravestones sinking to the bottom of the sea!!! anxiety my arse!

turquoise?!! haha. brilliant. At least i didn't do that. I read that green poo can be a sign of bowel cancer and she was already dealing with bowel issues so I basically had a mini breakdown over it. Mortifying when I realised what had actually happened.

When I was 18 and a fresher at uni, I went to the doctor with "AIDS". I had read all the posters on the back of the toilet doors at the SU about how you get flu-like symptoms with HIV.

I had a cold.

The doctor looked at me really intensely with his head cocked and his lips curled, and asked me if I have always had issues with severe anxiety or whether this was just a "flight of fancy". I scurried out of there so fast. (This was the 90s and "affirmations of my truth" were thin on the ground".)

@Calliopespa i felt SO much better afterwards 😂 my DH asked me why I felt I couldn’t tell the poor midwife beforehand that I could feel a rumble coming, but I thought that would be more embarrassing! I would hate to think what the staff room gossip was that day 😂 Midwives are definitely heroes!

Unfortunately not an unusual experience when you're with the military, doctors, dentists, teachers are all your neighbours and social circle! I once had a minor op in the nether regions on a Wednesday, on the Friday I was, unknown to me as I'd been anaesthetised, I was dancing with the doc!

This thread has had me laughing so much, and this one is a cracker.

Have @MNHQ agreed that it should be in Classics yet?

I also once had the forgotten tampax situation. Over a few days I started to notice a slight unpleasant whiff coming from down below. I just thought I needed a good shower. A couple of days later I crouched down to pick something off the floor and smelt the most awful smell ever. I had a poke round up the old chimney and pulled out a tampax that was green and squelchy and smelt absolutely foul. It must have been there well over a week. It's a wonder I didn't get toxic shock. I'm sure glad I decided to investigate it myself before making a doc appointment. I would have died of shame!!

Oh that’s hilarious! 😂😂 I’m sorry but I’m going to have to tell that one whenever embarrassing stories come up.

I think you meant fart outgoing not incoming!🤣 And did you actually feel better after?

in the early days of dating my now husband, we frequently had quite hard, vigorous sex. One day after such an event, my cervix felt quite bruised and I was having a bit of stomach pain, I was concerned he might have knocked my coil out of place. I tried to ignore it, took some painkillers etc. later that evening I noticed I had started bleeding. Again convinced he had knocked my coil out of place I went up to a&e. Explaining to the nurses and drs that my new boyfriend who has a large penis, and likes rough sex has knocked it out of place. Dr looks up there, can’t see where the bleeding is coming from, escalated to gynae consultant, who also has a look. He kindly tells me that I had started my period. It didn’t even occur to me that it was my period. I was mortified.

I’ve had to change username as this was mortifying for me, yet absolutely hilarious for my DH.

I had given birth to my first child a few hours before - baby was 10lbs and I had pushed for what seemed like an eternity. About 6 hours later, on the ward, I called the midwife over and said that my bottom REALLY hurt. She asked me to roll onto my side, which I duly did. As she went to lift up my butt cheek, I suddenly realised I had a massive fart incoming… but I was too embarrassed to say anything. Instead, this poor woman raised my cheek and had a face full of flatulence. It was so strong, her fringe wafted (as my DH tells me!). She carefully dropped my cheek back, gave me a gentle tap and said “do you feel better now?”. My god, I don’t think I’ll ever recover from the shame!

Speculums are inserted sideways and then rotated into the correct position. It's to make insertion more comfortable. Sounds like the student had been taught correct procedure that the consultant was too fancy to bother with.

My embarrassing moment was turning up to an appointment in gynae clinic to find out was in the same room I'd been in the day before, shadowing the nursing team in a professional capacity. Then my examination was done by a doctor I knew from my previous job. Amazing.

Same here- my waters had gone with my 3rd DC and midwife said my cervix wasn't there. She dug and dug and couldn't find it apparently. It felt like she was fishing around in my tummy!
It had reappeared by the time we got to hospital and said child was born that night...

The receptionist should have been sacked for 'telling all and sundry' about the boil on your arse. Patient confidentiality hasn't changed in 40 years, it's still gross misconduct.

@twentysevendresses

THE SCREAM I HAVE JUST SCRUM

I thought long and hard (about 15 seconds) before posting this 🤣

Completely outing, so hello to all my friends who already know of my UTTER shame!!

Some years ago, in the 'first flush' of a new romance whilst living on a military base overseas, my new beau and I were (ahem) 'experimenting' with my new 'bullet'.

He suggested it might feel pleasant if he used it to gently stimulate me anally. My only stipulation was 'don't let go, or let it go 'in'!' (The idea was to just massage the area as opposed to penetrate).

My arsehole had other ideas, however, and reacted fairly aggressively to the (actually up to that point, quite pleasant!) massage...and promptly swallowed the bastard thing whole...I quite literally had a bullet up my arse! Still buzzing!

Despite both of our efforts (and I will NOT describe those efforts out of sheer embarrassment!) it refused to exit my arse! I was in a bit of a panic at this point, and we decided a phone call to the med centre might be wise (we were in a very remote location and there was no other option open!) I was told to come right in as it could be an emergency (so, so embarrassing!!)

Long story short...the very good looking young military GP was finally able to extricate said bullet, and dropped it into a metal kidney bowl...still buzzing 😨

He proceeded to ask me if I wanted it back! You won't be at all surprised that I declined!

Anyway...as if all of that were not already THE most embarrassing thing to ever have happened to me, the following night was The Battle of Britain Ball in the officers mess.

Guess who was sat opposite me at our table?? Oh yes...👍 I absolutely died!! He, however, was a model GP and utterly charming all evening.

He is the one who should have been embarrassed - for causing the pain!

I called my doctor poppet once. As in oh hello poppet, how are you? In the tone of voice you'd use to a small child.

I have no idea why on earth that came out of my mouth.

this happened over 40 years ago but the shame and horror echoes down the years

I had a boil on my arse which was getting more and more painful each day. Made appointment for GP, went in and explained the problem. He said he would examine the boil but he needed to get a female chaperone to be present. Asked me to strip off from waist downwards and to lie down on the examination couch. I did this and for some reason he covered my bare backside with a red checked teatowel!

He doesn't bring a nurse back in but instead to my horror it's the school cowbag who had left at 16 and was doing a YTS as receptionist. He snatched back the teatowel with a flourish (a bit like when magicians do the trick with a tablecloth) and prodded the boil before prescribing anti b's and salt baths. School cowbag's face was gleeful and bloody told all and sundry afterwards

I will never allow a red, checked teatowel to pass my threshold...

I'd just given birth to DS and needed some pile treatment. I was embarrassed, exhausted, and very very wobbly from the birth, so I asked DH to nip into the pharmacy for me. He parked opposite and went in, leaving me and baby DS in the car, only to reappear in the pharmacy doorway a few seconds later, motion for me to wind down the car window and bellow across the busy shopping street, 'She's asking whether they're internal or external!' What felt like a thousand pairs of eyes turned to look at me and I could have died. Why he didn't just come and ask me discreetly, I do not know.