Embarrassing Doctor Stories

Same thing happened to me - having spent a couple of hours at the assessment unit and being examined I was absolutely mortified when they told me 🙈

I had exactly this, but the receptionist. “Cloppy dogrel” instead of clo PEE da grel as the doctor says it… although it seems like you and my doctor also pronounce it slightly differently- in any case it’s cloppydogrel in my house now!

When I was 20, I was on the pill and I'd mentioned to my doctor I had some pain in one of my legs. Because I was on the pill they were concerned it could be a blood clot so they told me to go straight to A and E if the feeling came back.
So I dutifully want next time I felt it, and a lovely very good looking young doctor examined me and it was....shin splints as I'd started running in the past weeks 😂 mortified.

My partner went for a ultrasound on his ball because he had a lump, when we was on the couch the lady that was scanning him squirted some gel in his hand, he rubbed it over his private parts she then goes “that was hand sanitiser for your hands” he felt the burn by then!

When I was in my late teens and family planning nurse was telling me about different contraceptives and we discussed the cap, she talked me through it all and then she was talking me through how to insert it, she told me to crouch on the floor and push it in with my fingers which I did, she asked if I could feel it and I told her she hadn’t actually given it to me!! I don’t know who was more mortified, her for getting me to do an invasive pointless demo or me for having done it because I was told to!! It was not a great day and I didn’t use the cap!

This thread is just the best, I keep breaking into giggles. I am scared I will never be able to sit sensibly in a dentist’s chair again and the pan pipes keeps getting me going, excellent stuff!

I projectile vomited after having a blood test. It now says LIE DOWN FOR NEEDLES or something like that on my notes when I go for a gp appointment. Mortified.

Pre children, I had the contraceptive implant. On having it removed I was seen by a young Dr, who had a reputation for being a little incompetent at that particularly surgery.
He asked me to lie on the bed with my arm above my head so with my young 20 something sense of humour (and nerves!) I decided to blurt out "Jack, are you going to paint me like one of your French girls?"
He went beetroot from the neck up 🤣

A few years ago I went to the doctor for some forgotten issue, but also mentioned something I was a little concerned with. I pulled down my jeggings and showed her… my legs were turning blue!

She was as concerned as me; she scheduled a blood test for the week after and talked me through some possible other tests I might need.

Went home and later that night, I was staring at my indigo thighs in the mirror when I had a horrifying thought. I rubbed hard at my skin and…. It came off.

My cheap Matalan jeggings had slowly and cheerfully been dying my thighs blue over the past few weeks and it tricked not just me but a medical professional.

I phoned the surgery the next day to quietly cancel my upcoming blood test.

I still wear cheap jeggings but now I know why my legs go blue!

😂😂

Believing that I had lost a tampon in my vagina went to urgent care. Turn out there was no tampon, I probably had take it off when went to the toilet during night and forgot to replace it conincendantly my periods stopped. Male doctors spent a few rummaging down there and said. Nope, there is nothing here😳
In my defence I was suffering with ridiculous heavy and long periods and was taking tablets to stop the flow. So was in the habit of getting up at night to replace or risk a murder scene on my mattress in the morning

I recently saw ultrasound scan results for women’s problems both years apart which read full of bowel gas so basically nhs as it is was every time unable to see anything. How the GP’s didn’t die of laughter beyond me. No wonder they didn’t / couldn’t bring themselves to show me.

one of the funniest things I read on here has to be when someone’s boss didn’t take the upcoming colonoscopy prep seriously.

I was a makeup artist working in retail at the time and had a lesson booked in. The customer was lovely, we chatted while I was guiding her with the products and had such a great time playing with the makeup, creating a look etc.
A couple of days later I walked in to my doctors surgery for a routine smear test and guess who was doing it 😂

that is SO adorable :)

You poor thing! I couldn't walk after my section I had so much pain down to trapped wind - better let it out! Nurse shouldn't have said that, your body had been thorough enough!

Not long after full covid lockdown, and I didn't drink alcohol during lockdown for some reason (relevant) I had to go in for a minor procedure but it was under GA and had to stay overnight.

There were 3 other women in the bay, 1 was an older long stay patient and the other 2 were getting the same minor procedure done.

We were all VERY EXCITED to be talking to new people and had a fantastic morning chatting away and laughing.

When we came back from surgery it was like being drunker than any of us had ever been before, we couldn't stop telling more and more embarrassing tales, exploding with laughter then shouting "Sorry Maureen" at the poor woman who wasn't doped up to the eyeballs.

We also had these expanding balloon things on our legs (possibly BP monitors) which kept going off, one of us would start crying OMG they took my legs, I didn't come here to lose my legs. Then the balloon would deflate....and 5 mins later patient 2 would start it all over again. Then patient 3, vary constantly ALL night long!

In between cackling laughter, then sobbing our legs had been stolen.

It turned out to be the best night out I'd had in 18 months.

But so embarrassing when I realised I'd been crying that Forrest Gump loved Lieutenant Dan and would anyone love me the same.....and poor sober Maureen had to calm 3 hysterical women down all night, while they verged between despair and off the wall excitement.

Went for an ultrasound/transvaginal scan for ovarian cysts, appointment was 8am and I needed to drink an hour before but wasn’t up in time so just held my wee. Was desperate for my routine morning poop which she could blatantly see on the scan when she mentioned how much I must have needed the toilet 😂😂😂

🤢

If he enjoyed doing that which I highly doubt he did then I hope he isn’t a doctor any longer.

That reminds me a bit of when I had a scan done of my brain. I went to see the neurologist to get the results and she had her computer on, with a picture of a brain on it. I thought vaguely "Oh, wow, she has a brain as a screensaver, I suppose as a neurologist she must be really into brains." Of course, it turned out to be my brain which she had loaded up to talk me through the scan images 😊

Went to GP for breast examination when I found several (thankfully benign) lumps. After he'd finished the emanation, he said "you do have very lovely breasts". I said "thanks" - too shocked to say anything else. I'm deaf in one ear, and I wasn't wearing my hearing aid. It transpires he'd not complemented my "very lovely breasts", but had said I had "very lumpy breasts". Oh the shame...

I’d not long had my twins and was absolutely knackered, no time for myself etc etc. Anyway I was worried about the skin on my lower legs as it just didn’t look right so I went to the GP. She took one look at them and said ‘you just need to moisturise them, it’s dry skin!’ I have NEVER felt so stupid and embarrassed ever 🤦‍♀️

Many years ago in my mid twenties my BF at the time found he had genital warts so I booked myself into the clap clinic to get checked out. The person checking me in said they had a student there and would it be ok if he observed my appointment. I said that was fine. Went into the room and they put me on a kind of Y shaped dentist chair, raised me up so that my fanjo was staring back at them at eye level. But the worst bit was the student was about my age, and hot as fuck. I’m sure usually this appointment wouldn’t take long but it felt like hours I was in that chair, whilst the doctor and his student foraged around my flaps in the greatest of depth, with the doctor describing in medical language exactly what he was seeing. I really should have said no to the student, and no I didn’t have warts. They’d have definitely found them if I did 😂

I was having a neuro exam getting my epilepsy diagnosed. I was trying to follow some fairly quick fire instructions - moving my tongue this way and that. I ended up misunderstanding and trying to lick the doctors glove - I’m still not entirely sure what I was meant to be doing!

What makes this worse is I work as…

…. a nurse.

Not an embarassing encounter but might amuse.
Just before my 5th birthday, 1952, I was rushed into hospital with severe appendicitis and operated on the same day.
I was in for several days. One day a nurse took me to a room where I was put on a bed. I asked what they were doing. "Taking a photograph," they said. "Oh," said 4 year old me. Will my Mummy want one?" They laughed and said they didn't think so.
Back then people didn't have cameras as they do now, so a photo was quite an event. But even so, I don't think Mum would have wanted an x-ray of my (ex)appendix.

I passed a really weird worm from my bum, I was pg so a bit more worried than usual. Trotted off to the GP with said worm in a tupperware.
GP looked at it for a bit and then called in a colleague for a 2nd opinion.
It was a beansprout