Page 3 | Embarrassing Doctor Stories

OooSorryDoctor · 2024-06-04T19:55:27+00:00

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice. Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈 Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

SillyOldBucket · 07/06/2024 09:42

I went to the doctor wearing a big thick jumper and he needed to use his stethoscope to listen to my heart rate so I had to remove the jumper and to my horror when I looked down, I saw my bright red left nipple proudly protruding through a hole I had in my bra! So embarrassing!

meatyryvita · 07/06/2024 09:38

ChickenMaths · 05/06/2024 20:16

Not me but I remember a poster on here who went to the dentist. He said 'suction' and she thought he was talking her, so she sucked his finger.

I've never laughed out loud from Mumsnet but this still really tickles me.

Literal tears of laughter as I read that one - oh my goodness, that is bloody hilarious!

My3dahliasarebloominlovely · 07/06/2024 09:38

When I had my first smear test the doctor doing it begged me to allow a student 6o observe as he'd been hanging around all morning and nobody had let him so far. I said yes and in sidled this terrified looking 12 year old looking boy. On being invited to take a look he gasped and said " Oh god it's all blue! " and swayed. She grabbed him and sat him down, gently explaining that I was clearly a day or so away from having my period. I got the giggles, the speculum shot out and clattered to the floor while she was administering a cup of water to him.
Another time my DH. The GP was giving him a rectal exam. As he started to insert his finger, DH turned to him and said sweetly, "You do love me, don't you doctor?" Luckily my DH is known at the practice for his sense of humour..

Iwasafool · 07/06/2024 09:29

My youngest child was a big baby, over 10lb, difficult forceps delivery and my bruising was apparently of great interest as students kept arriving when I was on the ward. Generally they came over and said, "Are you the lady with the bruising, could I have a look." After about a dozen "viewings" I said I was going to start charging. I think they got the message and it stopped.

Natsku · 07/06/2024 09:21

celticprincess · 06/06/2024 17:58

Went for a sigmoidoscopy (camera up the bum) and got gowned up and lay on the bed. The nurse came through to insert camera and said ‘oh hello, you teach my daughter!’. I nearly died. I’m primary teacher.

Also I seem to always get a student male doctor when I go for intimate appointments. 6 week check after baby. GP said, oh your stitches are healing lovely and were well done. Could the student doctor take a look? So he did. Then she decided she might as well do my smear whilst she was down there.

Flock of students also appeared when I was giving birth. Just as the midwife decided baby was a little stuck and I needed epiesiotomy. Suddenly a flock of students appeared to watch the incision and the baby almost flying out and nearly being dropped. After being stitched up they all came to look at the wonderful stitches.

Not quite the same as thinking you’ve got something wrong but finding it’s something different. But still on the embarrassing side.

My nearest hospital is a teaching hospital so always get students observing or practicing procedures when I go there. During my last labour, every shift change I'd get a new midwife and a new student, at one point the student was male and I asked him what made him interested in doing midwifery and he very stiffly said he's not interested in doing midwifery, he just has to spend some time in every area as part of his studies. I was a bit embarrassed but mostly felt he was rather rude.

During my first pregnancy I was in hospital for several weeks due to extreme pain, at the time they thought the pain was all due to a swollen kidney but all the things they did to help weren't easing the pain. The doctor said I was such an interesting(!) case, would I be ok with some students coming in and asking me questions. Said yes, and then spent the next hour being interviewed by students, two at a time, wanting to know all about my symptoms and wondering why none of the treatments were helping (turned out I also had appendicitis at the time but it had been missed, so that's why nothing was easing the pain!). Felt quite awkward answering the same questions over and over while clearly struggling with pain.

middleofnowhere666 · 07/06/2024 08:36

I have had a few embarrassing encounters with Dr's but the one that still makes me laugh to this day is with a Dentist.

I saw an orthodontist to have my teeth straightened but before she could start the process she said I had to have four teeth taken out as I had too many.
I was booked in for the teeth extraction and everything was going smoothly until the last tooth!!!!! This tooth was turning sideways behind the bottom front teeth and it would not budge no matter what the female dentist did. The dental nurse went out of the room and came back with a male dentist who tried everything to extract the tooth but to no avail. After numerous top ups of anesthetic he asked could he climb ontop of me to try from a different angle by this stage I just wanted the tooth out. So there I am lying on my back with the male dentist sat astride me pulling, tugging & twisting my tooth. This must of gone on for at least 20 mins and he was using all his strength, eventually the tooth came out but as it did I brought my leg up and kicked him in between his legs. There I am holding my mouth as blood was everywhere and he was still on top of me holding his crotch. I was mortified and apologised profusely and his reply was 'I most probably deserved it as I hurt you first'.

Itllfalloff · 07/06/2024 08:26

In my younger days, with a better pelvic floor, the doctor told me to ‘try to relax’ while inserting a metal speculum - instead I tensed and the bloody thing shot across the floor …

NannaKaren · 07/06/2024 07:36

bluesheds · 04/06/2024 21:34

Having a smear test and the nurse puts in the speculum and tells me I'll just feel a little prick - I went into a fit of laughter

… that’s made me laugh so much (sorry)! xxx

KarenOH · 07/06/2024 06:28

cowshindtail · 07/06/2024 00:50

I went to the GP on my ex husband's insistence as I had an offensive discharge that turned out to be a tampon high up in my vagina.It was most likely actually caused by DH having sex with me when I was asleep I realised some time later. When my daughter was little she was eating raisins at my late mum's house when my mum ,for some reason,told her not to put any in her ear,so she shoved one up her nose instead. I took her to A & E which really upset her so that she was in floods of tears which had the effect that the raisin got washed out by the snot.It was my quickest ever visit as I saw what had happened ,said thank you,and walked out again.

I’m so sorry that happened to you and glad to hear he’s now an ex!

travellinglighter · 07/06/2024 05:40

I never go to the doctor but I’m a male of a certain age and I was struggling to pee so I booked an appointment and the really nice elderly asian doctor did the inevitable prostate check. No drama, I suspect it was mostly psychosomatic and it took a finger up my bum for me to get over it.

A couple of weeks later I was standing at a urinal, looked down to aim and my penis was black. As black as night instead of the standard pale pink. Next morning, phoned the surgery, explained to the receptionist that my penis was black and she said “I’ll book you in for a telephone consultation.” Wasn’t massively convinced that this was going to be effective but assumed that this was a routine thing and a quick chat.to reassure was enough. Drove to work and had a horrible thought that it might be a FaceTime call and I’d have to show my bits on the internet. About an hour later I got a phone call to say doctor would like you to come in. Phew.

Checked in and got sent to see the same lovely elderly Asian chap who two weeks earlier had his finger up my bum. This time he was fondling my penis and cupping my testicles. No drama again, all very professional. Pulled my pants back on. He gently explained that it was a burst vein at the base of the penis. All very harmless except a thought popped into my head and the sensible part of me was screaming DON’T SAY IT. Unfortunately I couldn’t help myself, I blurted out

”I haven’t been doing anything weird you know?”

As soon as I said it I could see on his face, it went from him routinely explaining a common thing to him thinking I was protesting too much and thinking I’d definitely been up to something weird.

Haven’t had to go back since then, dreading the next time. He’s probably got visitors of a bucket of soapy frogs and a stirrup pump.

Rottweilermummy · 07/06/2024 02:02

I'd been having pains around what I was thinking was kidney but having read more after getting appointment for ultrasound I asked the lady doing scan if she could check my ovary as I thought it might actually be that ( OK not really close to kidney I know) anyway she did and as soon as she found it she laughed, because it turned out that was the cause of my pain , just glad she routinely scanned further than specific area told to

CurrantB · 07/06/2024 01:38

MudandParsnips · 05/06/2024 07:19

About 10 years ago I started getting a red, dry rash all over my face. I started taking photos of it in different lights to show the doc for when I booked an appointment, but to save having horrible rash selfies, I saved into into a different folder on my camera phone. It was about this time that phones started to self make little montages with tacky music and weird colour filters. Lo and behold, when I opened the folder to show the doctor, my phone started playing a pre-reocrded video of my rashy face spinning into focus with some gentle pan-pipe music playing. I immediately tried to stop it it, but the lovely doctor didn't even laugh, he probably thought i had deliberately done it and just said 'aww, that looks really sore!'. Mortifying 🤦

I am crying laughing at this 😂😂😂

cowshindtail · 07/06/2024 00:50

I went to the GP on my ex husband's insistence as I had an offensive discharge that turned out to be a tampon high up in my vagina.It was most likely actually caused by DH having sex with me when I was asleep I realised some time later. When my daughter was little she was eating raisins at my late mum's house when my mum ,for some reason,told her not to put any in her ear,so she shoved one up her nose instead. I took her to A & E which really upset her so that she was in floods of tears which had the effect that the raisin got washed out by the snot.It was my quickest ever visit as I saw what had happened ,said thank you,and walked out again.

Umanresources · 07/06/2024 00:33

After being taken back to my room, after an operation I needed a wee. I was hooked up to various drips and one of my arms had been taken out of my hospital robe. I ended up being helped by two nurses onto a commode next to my bed. My robe ended up just swinging from one arm and I was totally naked. The nurses had left me for some privacy and my robe had just slid off. I couldn’t actually “go” either, so they ended up running the tap in the sink, with the hope the sound of the water would help.

MrsNorthman71 · 07/06/2024 00:18

About a year after having my daughter I felt a lump on my vag. Went to get it checked and the nurse said "oh it's nothing to worry about. Its from where they stitched you up after giving birth.". Then she finished by saying "it's like you have a tiny penis". It's not, it's the size of a pea.

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 07/06/2024 00:08

Thankfully the nursery staff told me my baby son had eaten a bit of purple crayon when I collected him, otherwise I would have had a VERY nasty shock at nappy change time!

DH freaked out at one nappy change and was all ready to rush baby DC to the doctors instantly - until I asked what was wrong and then reminded him that DC had enjoyed a lovely blueberry pudding at lunch that day. So no need to panic over the colour of the poo!

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 06/06/2024 23:38

raspberryberet7 · 05/06/2024 07:10

I discovered what looked like a small brown lump on my nipple when undressing for shower. I threw my clothes back on and raced to go and demanded an emergency appointment. The gp pointed out the lump was in fact a coco pop 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Nooooooooo now that is embarrassing.

Needtofixmyageingskin · 06/06/2024 23:33

litlleseahorse · 05/06/2024 05:41

When my kids were toddlers and at nursery (I was in my 30s) we were all constantly getting ill- it was a relentless round of colds, flu, throat infections etc After my 4th or 5th cold in a row I started to develop what I thought was an ear infection, it was really painful. I couldn't face another round of anti biotics as they cause upset stomach and I saw on social media that if you put a clove of garlic in your ear it would cure an ear infection and was a natural remedy for infection. So I did. Unfortunately, I promptly fell asleep and it fell into my ear canal. It was agony.

I rang my GP and after some suppressed mirth, she told me to go to A&E. When I got there I told the receptionist in a quiet voice that I had garlic in my ear. She looked puzzled and repeated in a loud bemused voice "you have GARLIC in your ear????" causing everyone in the waiting room to look up in interest. I said yes and then had to wait for 2 hours whilst everyone stared at me as if I was mad. Finally, they called me through to be seen by a doctor- they told me I would be seen by a paediatrician as they had the necessary equipment for removing things from ears. I was then ushered through to the children's department, had to lay on a bed surrounded by Mickey Mouse pictures whilst the doctor suctioned it out of my ear. The doctor could barely contain his laughter. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life and I do wonder what on earth they wrote on my medical records to this day.

This had me laughing out loud 😂

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 06/06/2024 23:32

HollyKnight · 05/06/2024 02:08

When I was a young teen, I found a lump behind my ear. I freaked out. Showed my mum, she felt it too. She freaked out. She took me to the GP right away, both of us convinced it was a tumour. The doctor felt the lump. Looked at me. Then took my hand, raised it to touch behind the other ear, and said, "That's your skull."

Omg that's brilliant

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 06/06/2024 23:29

Curlygirl06 · 04/06/2024 22:47

After I had my twins via cs, I was bed bound for a day or so and when I had my first shower the midwife told me to keep an eye out for blood clots, as I'd not been upright for a while. I was having a shower and to be fair I didn't have my glasses on. I looked down and there was a massive big red lump in the shower tray. I called the midwife, she got her gloves and carefully picked the lump up, only to discover it was my strawberry soap that I'd dropped and hasn't realised.

This made me laugh!

ThaliaLuxurySpa · 06/06/2024 23:01

LeopardsRockingham · 06/06/2024 20:14

Not long after full covid lockdown, and I didn't drink alcohol during lockdown for some reason (relevant) I had to go in for a minor procedure but it was under GA and had to stay overnight.

There were 3 other women in the bay, 1 was an older long stay patient and the other 2 were getting the same minor procedure done.

We were all VERY EXCITED to be talking to new people and had a fantastic morning chatting away and laughing.

When we came back from surgery it was like being drunker than any of us had ever been before, we couldn't stop telling more and more embarrassing tales, exploding with laughter then shouting "Sorry Maureen" at the poor woman who wasn't doped up to the eyeballs.

We also had these expanding balloon things on our legs (possibly BP monitors) which kept going off, one of us would start crying OMG they took my legs, I didn't come here to lose my legs. Then the balloon would deflate....and 5 mins later patient 2 would start it all over again. Then patient 3, vary constantly ALL night long!

In between cackling laughter, then sobbing our legs had been stolen.

It turned out to be the best night out I'd had in 18 months.

But so embarrassing when I realised I'd been crying that Forrest Gump loved Lieutenant Dan and would anyone love me the same.....and poor sober Maureen had to calm 3 hysterical women down all night, while they verged between despair and off the wall excitement.

Brilliant! Can just picture the scene. Poor old Maureen 😊

Hihellogoodbye · 06/06/2024 22:38

orangeleopard · 04/06/2024 22:31

I had just had a C-section and was having my catheter put in or removed (I cannot remember). I was having it under gas and air and because I’d just had a section, I was all over the place and I couldn’t control myself and I couldn’t stop farting. It was loud too. If you can imagine the position the drs and nurses were in, and imagine recurring loud and smelly farts😭. I was so embarrassed and kept apologising and in the end the nurse shouted ‘stop farting’ so loud, I’m sure the entire ward heard. I was humiliated that I was doing it and these poor people were just doing their jobs but I couldn’t help what my body was doing.

Omg I laughed with tears reading this

Pigwig10 · 06/06/2024 22:36

Cmonthetampons · 04/06/2024 21:18

I was in for a routine smear. Did the usual preamble questions... when was my last period... about 10 days before.

Started the smear, she's having a good look and wiggling the speculum around and says "I think there's a tampon in there... has that been there for 10 days." FML. Off she went to find something to remove it with while I lay there and died.

Oh Good god…similar happened to me, except it was a condom. I just about died!!! 😬

Hagpie · 06/06/2024 22:31

orangeleopard · 04/06/2024 22:31

I had just had a C-section and was having my catheter put in or removed (I cannot remember). I was having it under gas and air and because I’d just had a section, I was all over the place and I couldn’t control myself and I couldn’t stop farting. It was loud too. If you can imagine the position the drs and nurses were in, and imagine recurring loud and smelly farts😭. I was so embarrassed and kept apologising and in the end the nurse shouted ‘stop farting’ so loud, I’m sure the entire ward heard. I was humiliated that I was doing it and these poor people were just doing their jobs but I couldn’t help what my body was doing.

WHAT? That is so normal! I had to spend a couple nights in hospital after my baby was born and they put in with all the c-section mamas. A nurse casually told me what to expect on our way up and I bet it was hugely relieving for the lovely ladies! Her reaction is the embarrassing thing, not you!

Jeannie88 · 06/06/2024 22:18

My 4 year old had had stomach ache for a few days and on the 3rd day crying in pain. After trying our best to help we managed to book an appt. While waiting he let out the most humongous and smelly loud fart, looked at me, laughed and said he feels fine now! We were called in, I apologised as I didn't want to waste the Doctor's time, he was understanding while laughing and prescribed something to help with trapped wind if it happened again. You live and learn eh. Xx