Embarrassing Doctor Stories

Me myself, thought I’d found a new mole on my foot and was concerned about skin cancer. GP looked at it with a magnifying thing and informed me it was a small blood blister where my flip flops had rubbed at the side.

Thanks @litlleseahorse and @pbdr , your tales have made me laugh out loud!

I had a one night stand. Not my usual style and there was some Catholic guilt. A week or so later I was in the bath. Felt a lump on my flaps. Was obviously genital warts as a punishment from god.
Steeled myself and went to the GP.
Babbled the whole story to her whilst I was legs akimbo.
Turns out it was an in grown hair, that she took great pleasure in popping (total sporner).

I have her special permission to tell her mates.

I had a dark mole that appeared in my armpit. It looked quite large and had suddenly appeared. I went to g.p. who had a look, then used tweezers to extract the small clump of black wool which must have been left behind when I wore my black jumper - total embarrassment and some relief.

Anus ole! I haven't laughed out loud at anything on Mumsnet for ages.

@Howbizarre22 and @blue345 🤣

These are great, I'm howling!

When DD was a few months old she had a black spot appear on her scalp. I showed the nurse during her jabs who had a look and told me to book in with the GP.
booked in with GP who had a look and said would refer us to hospital in London.
went to see the consultant in London who had a look, then scraped it off with her finger.
it was dirt trapped under some cradle cap.

my god I was mortified.

I’d have yelled “No parking! permit holders only!” 🤣

I wasn't sure if I'd pulled out my tampax overnight, GP surgery refused to help and sent me to A&E.

Eventually the poisoned chalice fell to a (very friendly) 6 foot four giant that wheeled the gynae trolley past us all with trays of unpleasant looking devices. He decided to use this episode as a teach in for a junior doctor so I had two faces plus a large light pointed up my fanny.

He described it as this: you start at the top of the cul de sac then you go down the cul de sac, checking as you go. Because it's a cul de sac, it can't go anywhere else. He must have said that word at least 10 times.

To top it off, the cul de sac was empty. I slunk off home making a mental note to never live in a cul de sac.

I know this is about doctors but I did exactly the same thing with a vet in my early days as a cat owner. Took my kitten in for his vaccinations and mentioned I'd 'noticed a small ridge on his head' ... vet said somewhat witheringly 'that's his skull' 😊

wtf?? Are you the Incredible Hulk??

Well helllloooooo doctor 😉😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

When my kids were toddlers and at nursery (I was in my 30s) we were all constantly getting ill- it was a relentless round of colds, flu, throat infections etc After my 4th or 5th cold in a row I started to develop what I thought was an ear infection, it was really painful. I couldn't face another round of anti biotics as they cause upset stomach and I saw on social media that if you put a clove of garlic in your ear it would cure an ear infection and was a natural remedy for infection. So I did. Unfortunately, I promptly fell asleep and it fell into my ear canal. It was agony.

I rang my GP and after some suppressed mirth, she told me to go to A&E. When I got there I told the receptionist in a quiet voice that I had garlic in my ear. She looked puzzled and repeated in a loud bemused voice "you have GARLIC in your ear????" causing everyone in the waiting room to look up in interest. I said yes and then had to wait for 2 hours whilst everyone stared at me as if I was mad. Finally, they called me through to be seen by a doctor- they told me I would be seen by a paediatrician as they had the necessary equipment for removing things from ears. I was then ushered through to the children's department, had to lay on a bed surrounded by Mickey Mouse pictures whilst the doctor suctioned it out of my ear. The doctor could barely contain his laughter. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life and I do wonder what on earth they wrote on my medical records to this day.

When I was 20 I attended an appointment with the practice nurse at my GP surgery for my first ever smear test. At the time I was a medical student, who ultimately planned to become a GP.
The nurse started the appointment by asking the usual sexual health questions, and one of them was "Do you have a regular partner?".

Now, in retrospect it could not be more obvious that she was asking about a sexual partner, but at the time I think just because we were in a GP surgery, and I was an aspiring GP, when she said the word "partner" I immediately thought GP partner. I thought she was asking if I saw the same GP whenever I would come to the practice. So I replied "No one in particular, just whoever is available." She was wonderfully non-judgemental and just noted a little something on my record.
It was about 5 minutes later that, mid procedure and legs akimbo, I realised. I explained what had happened to the nurse and she had to pause the procedure, she was laughing so much.

Not my finest moment.

When I had my first-born, it was winter and freezing.
One evening, she started screaming and I noticed a rash on her body that looked quite livid and seemed to be spreading.
In a panic, I called the doctor out ( it was in the days when your own GP did house calls )
The doctor duly attended, took one look at my baby and said 'may I suggest that you turn the fire down, open a window, take some of these layers off the baby and give her a drink of cooled water'.
It turned out to be nothing more serious than a heat rash due to the furnace like temp in the room and the amount of clothes I put on her for fear of her being cold, not meningitis or measles etc, as I thought.
I felt two inches tall. Fortunately he was a lovely old school doctor and completely understood.

🤣

My mum brought my toddler brother in to see a consultant urologist about his undescended testicle. As soon as she undressed him, they both watched it pop down right in front of both of them. It's been 40 years and she's still salty

Not me but I'll never forget a story I read on MN about a woman in a rush for a doctors appointment to look at her sore knee. She quickly shaved that leg and left the other one. So of course the doctor wanted to compare knees and she had one smooth white leg and one forest 😂

My cousin was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. Turns out she was just constipated.

My DP went to get a lump on his testicle checked, the Dr said to get it out and lie on the couch. He took his trousers and boxers and lay down, she came round the curtain and said oh no you just needed to pop it out of your boxers. He was pretty embarrassed but laughs about it now

At my first smear I was quite nervous. I inadvertently tensed and the plastic speculum broke inside me! The nurse then said, "Well, that's never happened before".

I nearly died of embarrassment.

^^ ...with a castanets flourish!

I asked a pharmacist for some ‘anus olé’ and she replied ‘do you mean anu sole?’

^

Crying at this

For some reason I'm imagining Manuel from Fawlty towers

@orangeleopard that wasn't very nice of the nurse, you couldn't help it