Embarrassing Doctor Stories

I had an abnormal smear, and had to go back for a colposcopy and biopsy of my cervix.

I was lying on a table, bum at the edge, legs in stirrups. The table had a shelf underneath, with implements and things stored on it.

They took the biopsy. I bled. A lot. And it went over the things on the shelf. Cue the nurse in a fluster trying to move things out of the way. I laughed, but they didn't...

The pan pipes!! 🤣🤣🤣

Lounging around in the bath at the start of lockdown and found a lump up underneath my boob. Phoned the GP and got an appointment within the hour as nobody dare go anywhere and they were only seeing urgent things. Doused myself in disinfectant and antibac gel and went to a room covered in plastic sheeting with plastic covered doctor and nurse only to be asked after a bit of gentle prodding if I had ever badly broken my ribs .... well you can guess the answer, I was mortified at the waste of time, antibac wash and plastic.

This is the best one @OooSorryDoctor @Itsjustmyusername hahahahaha

I've accidentally left a tampon in once. I think it happened because I was in the middle of changing one on the loo, heard a big bang from downstairs and my 5yo screaming hysterically. I dashed downstairs - she'd banged her head off a door and was ok, but clingy. I consoled her, went back to the loo to finish sorting myself out with DD in tow and still upset. In the chaos of trying to console DD whilst sorting myself out, I forgot that I hadn't yet removed my tampon and must've just rammed another one up there! Only realised a week later when I investigated after something didn't feel "quite right" downstairs.

As a dc walking along a wall I fell and cut myself.. A man walked me home with blood dripping down my legs! And my shite dm didn't take me to hospital.. Healed as a scar the Dr told me. I never knew! Never had any stitches or tears during labours. ..

I’m not so sure tbh. Are torn private parts ever so alluring - especially under hospital lighting? I think a good dose of the requisite mood is generally necessary …

I tried to home wax a Brazilian. Pulled the strip off and my big labia basically tore a bit from the small labia. Lots of blood.
I went to a and e but hours - there was no blood by then and it was basically repaired.
I was only 25, v attractive and the a&e Dr was very young and new. He was highly discombobulated at having to gently part my lips but I still think that was a good day foe him.

If we're talking about pets...my DM took my hamster to the vets because she thought he had a huge tumour on his rear end.

He was just well endowed!

Not Drs but vets….

My sister got a puppy (first dog) and was besotted with him. One weekend she was playing with him and discovered some lumps on his stomach. Panic stricken she called the emergency vets, and literally signed down the phone, convinced the dog was going to die. Vet asked her to send through some pictures of the lumps so he could triage over the phone… with it being 8pm on a Saturday night. Which she did.

“Madame (she lives in France), those are the dogs nipples”

she really genuinely didn’t know. 😂

Gentle pan-pipe music 😂

My brother was a teenager at the time and going through his soap dodging stage

He had an issue with his foot,so my mother took him to the doctors

The doctor asked him to take his shoes and socks off,to which he did

He also hadn't changed his socks for 9 weeks-he took them off for his 5 second shower but put them straight back on

The smell was unreal apparently

The doctor looked like she was going to vomit and opened a window as far as it would go

The cure was a regular but proper shower (with soap and not just water) and change of socks every day

I'm nc with the family now but I know it gets told as a funny story-omly my mother has gritted teeth

My own story is I had to go for a smear test and coil change at the same time

Only they couldn't find the coil,but said it would be an 8 week wait for a trip to the hospital to have their doctor take a luck

49 weeks later,they have a cancellation so off I go

I'm sat in this chair,legs spread wide and the most handsome doctor I've ever met between them,who is having a good rummage

I get really nervous around doctors and hospitals and I always get a dodgy tummy round them

I farted in the poor guys face-thank god it wasn't too smelly

I passed out during a blood test. I came around to a collection of doctors and nurses staring at me

Oh, and another one!

Coming round after surgery involving a GA. First thing I was aware of was being rolled onto my side and a pessary shoved up my arse.

As I was rolled back, the nurse who had inserted said pessary said 'I know you! You work in X place in the High Street and helped me with X!'.

And having my first DC in hospital. Second stage had gone on for almost three hours so they called in a doctor to discuss forceps. DC decided they weren't having any of that, shot out of my fanny like a cannon ball, doctor managed to catch them, then looked at my face, was a bit surprised and said 'I've not seen you since we used your beanbag to slide down the stairs!'...

After my first baby (EMCS) they didn't rush to get me out of bed as I'd had such a rough time so it was day 2 before they got me up for a shower. All went well until the standing up part and i just knew that there was a lot of blood that would come gushing out. I had a huge maternity pad on but stated loudly what would happen - the midwives/HCA's were lovingly reassuring me it would be fine, got me upright supported on both sides, took two steps and about ten pints of blood gushed down my legs, all over their shoes and my lovely new slippers!! It went everywhere and I was so mortified but they were so lovely about it! Walked/staggered to the shower dripping blood as I went and had the most wonderful seated shower ever - by the time i got back everything had been cleaned up and my slippers were in a plastic bag ready for DH to wash at home. (they had to be binned as he washed them on 90 deg and they never recovered).

Another smear test story. I am in my 60s and had a fair few over the years.

The nurse examined me and poked around rather a lot and then informed me I hadn’t got a cervix.
Me: I definitely have
Nurse: Do you have children? (Nod) And did you give birth vaginally? (Nod) Well you definitely don’t have one now.
Me: I do think I might have noticed if it had fallen out into my pants.

More poking and peering until she finally announced she had spotted it. I know they can tilt backwards but surely not that unusual?

I've suffered with chronic pain for most of my life and I've tried everything to resolve it.

At the GPs a few years ago, I told him the latest things I'd tried. When I next went, another GP left my notes open on the screen so I was able to read them whilst GP popped out. 'TinHat saw a witch doctor and wondered why it didn't work.' I'd seen a chiropractor!

That was embarrassing!

Now that one DID make me laugh.

2 week breast clinic referral for a lump.
It was my rib.
The doc was kind (and hopefully thinking it was nice to have a quick and easy appointment), but I felt like a prize idiot.

I’m laughing out loud at some of these

Mine isn’t embarrassing as such, but during my last smear test, the nurse couldn’t find my cervix. I didn’t know it wouldn’t be possible to locate it 🫣 She had to go and find a doctor, who pretty much found it within seconds.

Me too. When having a Sigmoidascope, I was asked to go and remove my pants and trousers and go and lie down, in my nervousness I replied, "I don't normally do this on a first date". The poor young doctor went puce 😩

I came on my period really heavily during a smear test.
I nearly had an orgasm when a nurse put a catheter up me.
I went to the hospital for a consultation about my torn knee ligament. The doctor seemed to think I was in for heart surgery. And that I was a 64 yo Pakistani man?!

When my brother was about six he suddenly started screaming and was doubled over in pain. My mother rang the oncall doctor and he was concerned it was his appendix. We made a desperate dash to the doctors office and my brother let the longest loudest fart ever. Problem solved😄

I tend not to get embarrassed or put off these days by going to the Drs, as they generally have the attitude of we have seen it all, which is great.
However.... years ago I slept with a guy that had a piercing, and we realised it came off, I tried to dig around in my vag to find it 🤣 but couldn't, so I had to see a nurse who eventually got it out 🫢😳
I was more embarrassed about the fact that she knew that I'd had wild sex the night before!

Years ago a work colleague had an appointment
which necessitated an internal examination.
Just before she was called in she popped to the toilet, as there was no toilet paper she used a tissue from her pocket.
She lay on the couch and the doctor asked the nurse to pass him some tweezers.
He then removed a green shield stamp that was stuck to her public hair.
She was mortified and also annoyed as apparently the stamp was worth 20 points.