Embarrassing Doctor Stories

@CJ0374

Staff took him to resus, stripped him off to notice the 'purple' was only where his brand new, unwashed pyjamas touched his body and he was tired because it was 1am!

Oh bless him this did make me chuckle! He probably didn't have a clue what was going on lol - pleased it was nothing serious.

Never use glitter spray in your hair for an 80's night with your friends, the day before your smear.

A quick shower and off to went. Yeah I had glittery pubes.

Omg. So funny. I read this in a Spanish olè way and am still chortling

Oh no!

A friend lost her sense of smell after a head injury {she was wearing a helmet} when her horse landed on her during a Cross Country course.

She says it's a sense she really misses.

After Covid, I met a woman who said she lost her sense of small...I had a bag of smelly dog treats to train my young dog with, and the woman couldn't smell those at all, despite getting her nose close to the bag and inhaling deeply.

Pic...Dogs randomly sniffing treets.

@thesmedsandthesmoos honestly it was hilarious 🤣

I am the woman and have a terrible sense of smell!

Oh that's so bad..Poor you.
Thanks for explaining.
That must have been a horrible cut .

I can't understand why your mother didn't;t take you to a GP for such a bad injury to a tender part of your body..I'm upset on your behalf.

I too fell very badly as a child, my knees so badly cut {I was riding my scooter fast through a puddle and a grating trapped the front wheel causing me to land hard on a flinty car park {The Bull, East Sheen}

A man wanted to walk me home as my knees were in such a state, but I was afraid of 'Strange men''...however, he insisted on walking a safe distance away to see that I was ok, and mum saw us and thought I'd been in a road accident because of the bloody knees.

She thanked the man.

She took me to the GP next day and knees had to have treatment.

Rushed 2 year old to hospital as she'd got hold of a bottle of weedkiller while I was dealing with new baby. She'd got the top off and it was half empty. Grabbed her in shorts and vest, no shoes or socks, drove to hospital and must have looked frantic as security man asked what was wrong grabbed the car chair baby was in and ran me through A&E. After hours where she played happily and eventually got restless and hungry and started running round causing chaos as I tried to feed the baby the doctor decided to send us home. As I picked up baby's chair I realised it was soaking wet down the back and yes she hadn't been drinking it she'd been tipping it over the chair.

After the chaos we caused I slunk out quietly.

Had a very painful boil in the crease where your knickers sit, had to lie down on the bed so the nice young male doctor could have a look. All fine or so I thought. Got home, went for a wee and realised there was a 2p piece sized hole in my knickers where the gusset starts 😱 I nearly died of shame. Holey knickers now get thrown straight in the bin, not washed first as obviously I can't trust myself not to forget which ones have the hole in before I put them back in the drawer.

I went to a proctologist following severe hemorrhoids I had developed.

Whilst he had his finger up my bum, he asked in a rather surprised way "wow, how long were you in labour?"

I replied, "I wasn't. I had an elective C section"

He, the nurse, and I fell silent, all the while his finger was still right up my bum.

I was mortified that a professional thought the piles I'd developed were akin to having to repeatedly push until a baby came out. I don't know what was going through his mind after that and I didn't dare ask any follow up questions.

She’s a tough lass actually - and just as well really!

Surely if it was that bad the woman herself would notice???

I used to work with a girl whose mother had died of toxic shock as it was then called - so say from changing tampons too frequently.

A “just in case” tampon!!! My toes are curling just from thinking about the feeling of pulling out a half dry tampon 😰

When my DS was a newborn he was in SCBU for a while, and was treated for jaundice, among other things. So naturally, when I noticed his skin going a strange colour, I made an urgent GP appointment. However, as I took off his top to show the GP his skin, I noticed that it had a faint shimmer to it. Turned out that my mum had bathed him the night before, and mixed up Johnsons Baby Lotion with Johnson's holiday skin with a hint of shimmer. I was so embarrassed, and the GP couldn't stop laughing.

Not me, thank goodness, but my DH and his then-partner were camping at a folk festival years ago, and were due to play the next day. The festival was out in the country and they'd got there via public transport. The ex woke DH up at the crack of dawn, absolutely hysterical, saying that her ear hurt and was making a deafening noise. They went to the medical tent and she was told she needed to get it checked out at A&E. They waited hours while someone was found who was willing and able to give them a lift to the nearest hospital, which was many, many miles away. It was heaving when they got there and they had to queue for absolutely ages just to speak to the receptionist. Just as they got to the front of the queue, an ant came marching out of her ear, proudly carrying an enormous lump of earwax, dropped down onto her shoulder and disappeared 😅 By the time they managed to get back to the festival (their lift having just dropped them and gone when he saw the queue), they'd missed their slot, didn't get to play and thus didn't get paid.

They should have told you, in person, when giving you inśtructions. Plus they shouldnt have given you any weird looks.

In my home country you would be expected to walk topless (or bottom less) across the room and would be given likely more than a look if you wanted to cover yourself.

not me, but my daughter. I was out for dinner with my husband and our friends, and my whatsapp beeped (live in a different country from our children, so talk thru whatsapp) I knew she had a doc appointment that day and she was nervous. They were removing her coil as her husband had the snip and had passed his all clear test. I said...excuse me to my husband and our friends, but just going to play this to make sure she is ok. To which the recording was " MA!!!!! Fuck me !! She can't find my coil. Said my vag ate it!!!! have to go for an ultrasound now. Call you later. " Even though I didn't have speaker on.. Pretty sure that the tables next to us heard it too!! Husband just went a little off color but I was trying not to laugh lol

I shit myself during labour 🙂

Staffies {and other male dogs do get erections with general excitement- I met a beautiful young Whippet on a walk who got his lipstick out 💄 at the offer of a treat- he was sitting like a good boy for his treat, and I noticed!

Broke my toe, went to GP who then decided to wiggle my other toes and sing “this little piggy” whilst looking me in the eye. Wanted to 🤮

Episiotomy? {"Is that how it's spelled?} a cut made during giving birth?
Sometimes there is a small natural tear that is stitched up.

Hehe, I had similar with my late, lamented male Staffie. I was sitting on my sofa at home with a friend, chatting. Jasper jumped up and lay down between us. My friend looked at him, shrieked "HE'S GOT TITS!" and dropped his mug of tea. And he was a nurse as well; you'd think he'd know... 🤔

Jasper also involved me in further veterinary embarrassment - he started a phase of getting erections whenever he saw me after being temporarily apart. It then developed to a point where they were taking a long time to go down and were clearly causing him pain. I'd developed a rapport with the local vet, as Jasper's predecessor had had cancer and so I was a regular visitor, so I felt relatively unembarrassed to discuss the matter with him (I was much younger then and very self-conscious). We arrived at the surgery, only to find that the vet was in hospital, having had the sh-t kicked out of him by a horse on a farm visit that morning. An impossibly handsome locum was there in his place, with whom I had to have a detailed and mortifying discussion about the dog's inappropriate affections for me and his problematic priapism.

Awful.

At least the edible glitter my DS nursery gave him was obviously glitter!

OOH, hearing the stories about tampons being left in makes me want to share these.

https://people.com/health/16-year-old-girl-dies-toxic-shock-syndrome-tampon-use/
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/mum-six-no-health-conditions-32800669
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12486083/Woman-nearly-died-left-tampon-in.html
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12486083/Woman-nearly-died-left-tampon-in.html

Had caesarian with DS, in recovery room afterwards cooing over our beautiful new baby, I remember getting really grumpy with the couple in the next bay because the baby had pood and it absolutely stank and was spoiling our magical moment. I called the nurse over all stroppy to ask them to change the nappy.... Nope- the baby hadn't shit herself... I HAD!!! obviously couldn't feel anything from waist down and had no idea it had happened.