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Embarrassing Doctor Stories

565 replies

OooSorryDoctor · 04/06/2024 20:55

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice.

Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈

Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

OP posts:
JulianCasa · 05/06/2024 20:51

I was only around 9 or 10 but my mum took me to a&e because my nipples were swollen and sore. I was terrified it was some sort of cancer.

Yep, you guessed it… it was just boobs on their way 🤦🏻‍♀️ a male doctor too. It’s seared in my memory for life.

BrownTableMat · 05/06/2024 20:40

I’ve also done the ringing the vet in a panic (during Covid times) because I was sure my dog had picked up ticks. Turns out they were her nipples. Being symmetrically placed should probably have given me a clue

kalokagathos · 05/06/2024 20:39

ToxicChristmas · 04/06/2024 21:56

When I was 18 I had to go to hospital as I had really enlarged lymph nodes in my neck that just wouldn't go away. Off I went naively thinking they would just look at my neck area and that would be it. I had to strip down to my underwear so they could check my groin area. I was wearing really racy lingerie (early on with now DH and very much in lust stage). I was going straight to now DH house after the appointment and it had never occurred to me I'd have to take anything off at all. I remember the feeling of absolute dread and huge embarrassment standing there thinking they must think I've dressed up for this like some kind of weirdo. Obviously they were total professionals and didn't bat an eyelid but I was mortified.

Edited

😂😂😂😂😂❤️it!

Tegridyfarms · 05/06/2024 20:28

ChickenMaths · 05/06/2024 20:16

Not me but I remember a poster on here who went to the dentist. He said 'suction' and she thought he was talking her, so she sucked his finger.

I've never laughed out loud from Mumsnet but this still really tickles me.

I also remember one posted previously that made me laugh. The poster had taken her baby to the drs. The doctor wanted to examine the baby so advised the mum to put one hand on the stomach, and one on the head. The poster then picked up the babies hands and put one on it's stomach, and the other on it's head!

cannaecookrisotto · 05/06/2024 20:23

MudandParsnips · 05/06/2024 07:19

About 10 years ago I started getting a red, dry rash all over my face. I started taking photos of it in different lights to show the doc for when I booked an appointment, but to save having horrible rash selfies, I saved into into a different folder on my camera phone. It was about this time that phones started to self make little montages with tacky music and weird colour filters. Lo and behold, when I opened the folder to show the doctor, my phone started playing a pre-reocrded video of my rashy face spinning into focus with some gentle pan-pipe music playing. I immediately tried to stop it it, but the lovely doctor didn't even laugh, he probably thought i had deliberately done it and just said 'aww, that looks really sore!'. Mortifying 🤦

I'm crying 😭

cannaecookrisotto · 05/06/2024 20:21

This is very outing but on my 21st birthday, my now DH and I were having... some athletic birthday celebrations... and he must have gone in at a weird angle. I felt a strange pressure and then tearing. Blood started pouring out everywhere, it was like a fucking murder scene.

I was doing my best with tissues but after an hour of just gushing I started shaking, sweating and feeling faint.

Had to ring 999 and got took into A&E to have the inside of my biff stitched up!!! Also had to call in sick to work (I made my mum do it because I was too embarrassed 😂).

GingerLiberalFeminist · 05/06/2024 20:18

I was at a ladies social event just networking and I recognised a woman but couldnt place her. On speaking to her, i realised she'd put my coil in tue week before. That killed the conversation.

queenmeadhbh · 05/06/2024 20:16

orangeleopard · 04/06/2024 22:31

I had just had a C-section and was having my catheter put in or removed (I cannot remember). I was having it under gas and air and because I’d just had a section, I was all over the place and I couldn’t control myself and I couldn’t stop farting. It was loud too. If you can imagine the position the drs and nurses were in, and imagine recurring loud and smelly farts😭. I was so embarrassed and kept apologising and in the end the nurse shouted ‘stop farting’ so loud, I’m sure the entire ward heard. I was humiliated that I was doing it and these poor people were just doing their jobs but I couldn’t help what my body was doing.

The nurse shouting STOP FARTING has absolutely KILLED ME 💀💀💀💀💀💀

cannaecookrisotto · 05/06/2024 20:16

@LongSinceGotUpAndGone I have a cat one as well.

Come downstairs in the morning and it was like her back legs weren't working and she was dragging them.

I thought it was the end. I flung her in the carrier and burst through the doors at pets at home like "HELP!!! CATS ON ITS LAST LEGS!!!!"

Went it to the vets room and the fucker sauntered right out of that carrier normal as anything. Apparently cats can get cramp 🤦🏼‍♀️.

ChickenMaths · 05/06/2024 20:16

Not me but I remember a poster on here who went to the dentist. He said 'suction' and she thought he was talking her, so she sucked his finger.

I've never laughed out loud from Mumsnet but this still really tickles me.

cannaecookrisotto · 05/06/2024 20:14

pbdr · 05/06/2024 05:11

When I was 20 I attended an appointment with the practice nurse at my GP surgery for my first ever smear test. At the time I was a medical student, who ultimately planned to become a GP.
The nurse started the appointment by asking the usual sexual health questions, and one of them was "Do you have a regular partner?".

Now, in retrospect it could not be more obvious that she was asking about a sexual partner, but at the time I think just because we were in a GP surgery, and I was an aspiring GP, when she said the word "partner" I immediately thought GP partner. I thought she was asking if I saw the same GP whenever I would come to the practice. So I replied "No one in particular, just whoever is available." Blush She was wonderfully non-judgemental and just noted a little something on my record.
It was about 5 minutes later that, mid procedure and legs akimbo, I realised. I explained what had happened to the nurse and she had to pause the procedure, she was laughing so much.

Not my finest moment.

😂😂😂

ChefsKisser · 05/06/2024 20:12

Can I just say as a sexual health nurse and someone who does smear clinics regularly- lots of women are really nervous and say all sorts of wild things when I’m examining them or doing procedures. Honestly I don’t think anything of it, never judge them, sometimes they can be really funny what they say but it’s down to nerves! Any nice nurse (and most are!) honestly won’t bat an eyelid!

soooomuchroomforactivities · 05/06/2024 19:52

I rushed my then 9 year old to A&E because she had bright green poo. I was worried sick. After HOURS of waiting (at night) doc asks what she had eaten that day and i rattle it off and then she says, 'and don't forget the green slushie i had mummy?'. Well i wanted the ground to swallow me up. Felt like a giant knobhead that night.

babymamalove · 05/06/2024 19:51

litlleseahorse · 05/06/2024 05:41

When my kids were toddlers and at nursery (I was in my 30s) we were all constantly getting ill- it was a relentless round of colds, flu, throat infections etc After my 4th or 5th cold in a row I started to develop what I thought was an ear infection, it was really painful. I couldn't face another round of anti biotics as they cause upset stomach and I saw on social media that if you put a clove of garlic in your ear it would cure an ear infection and was a natural remedy for infection. So I did. Unfortunately, I promptly fell asleep and it fell into my ear canal. It was agony.

I rang my GP and after some suppressed mirth, she told me to go to A&E. When I got there I told the receptionist in a quiet voice that I had garlic in my ear. She looked puzzled and repeated in a loud bemused voice "you have GARLIC in your ear????" causing everyone in the waiting room to look up in interest. I said yes and then had to wait for 2 hours whilst everyone stared at me as if I was mad. Finally, they called me through to be seen by a doctor- they told me I would be seen by a paediatrician as they had the necessary equipment for removing things from ears. I was then ushered through to the children's department, had to lay on a bed surrounded by Mickey Mouse pictures whilst the doctor suctioned it out of my ear. The doctor could barely contain his laughter. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life and I do wonder what on earth they wrote on my medical records to this day.

I actually laughed out loud at this one 😂

PinkTonic · 05/06/2024 19:51

I went to the doctors with a weird red rash on my thigh. The uber keen trainee gp took it very seriously, ordered blood tests, muttering about cellulitis. The next day I realised I’d spent the evening before I noticed the rash sorting photos with the laptop on my lap. The doctor wasn’t 100% convinced when I rang in to say no need for follow ups.

More recently I noticed my wee was very pale. It seemed to be getting paler and paler and I freaked out in the morning when I had my first wee and it was colourless. I fretted about making a doctors appointment (previous traumatic wee issues) but luckily twigged just in time that the loo cistern was constantly running to the extent that it was completely diluting it in the time it took to finish and stand up. Confirmed by testing in a jug and narrowly missed making an utter twat of myself at the docs and called a plumber instead.

Natsku · 05/06/2024 19:50

Oh this thread has been very amusing to read!

I think I've blocked out my most embarrassing memories with medical staff but last month I went to the nurse for a general check up and at one point she asked what contraception I use, and for some reason I blurted out 'well I find not having sex works quite well'. She looked at me and said 'well, you were brave to tell me that'. I was a bit embarrassed but she was lovely and we talked about it then moved on to the next subject but after I saw the doctor two weeks later for the follow up appointment, I checked my notes online and saw that she had written that part there so now its in my notes forever and that makes me cringe. And the doctor asked to look at my foot because I mentioned I've been having issues with my achilles tendon on and off, it was a really hot day and he had to hold my sweaty foot.

Differentstarts · 05/06/2024 19:47

Had an argument with a dr tried to storm out but went through the wrong door and ended up in a cupboard 🤣🤣

blue345 · 05/06/2024 19:42

I came round from the anaesthetic for my appendicectomy and heard someone shouting and swearing in the recovery area. And then I realised it was me

I came round from my hip replacement half-way through lecturing/abusing my lovely consultant about why he'd cemented my hip which I'D SAID I DIDN'T WANT (it was uncemented so no idea why I was convinced otherwise and in any case I am not a surgeon).

He wasn't in the recovery room after the first hip replacement which makes me fear I'd been sufficiently belligerent and obnoxious that they'd dragged him in to calm me down for the second operation. I ended the one-woman medical monologue by projectile vomiting for good measure.

I feel I should apologise for whatever I'd said to him prior to the part I remember but decided it's best left (perhaps the cul de sac episode was my medical karma).

SuperBlondie28 · 05/06/2024 19:40

I puked in the nurses room sink at my GP following a coil removal that was very painful. The doctor that did the removal remembered it still months later. I obviously made quite an impression there lol

Funniest thing was a different doctor saying my adenoids looked nice and healthy. I responded by saying that I had them removed as a child. What the hell was the doctor looking at? An ENT doctor confirmed that they hadn't grown back 🙄

Nannyfannybanny · 05/06/2024 19:40

On the other side....I was working in the ED, when it was called casually, which this very young Dr. Woman came in,in a cubicle. High powered job (won't say what) she had an expensive power suit on. Said she had a spot on her nose that wouldn't stop bleeding. While he's looking at that, she says "shall I underdress.whipped the Suit off,to reveal the dirtiest underwear! He's really embarrassed, asked her if she had picked the spot,"oh,yes", she said. Working on the orthopaedic ward, brought a nun back after an operation, she was screaming, swearing like a navvi, and claiming that she had just given birth!

Namechangeforthe · 05/06/2024 19:28

I came round from the anaesthetic for my appendicectomy and heard someone shouting and swearing in the recovery area. And then I realised it was me 😳😳😳

Later on during that admission I took myself to the toilet as the nurses seemed quite busy. I managed fine until I got back and tried to get back into bed. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t manage with my abdominal wound. My final attempted manoeuvre resulted in me on my knees at the bedside, unable to get up. I had to pull the buzzer and when the nurse came in all I could say was “er…I’m stuck” 🤦‍♀️

I think they were probably relieved when I was discharged

wilteddandelion · 05/06/2024 19:10

Cmonthetampons · 05/06/2024 16:49

Haha, an apparently iron constitution? Forgotten tampons aren't actually that uncommon (10 days is maybe extreme) but TSS is much more rare.

Show quote history

oh wow. I did NOT know 'losing' them was common. 😳

MferMonsterSearchingForRedemption · 05/06/2024 18:53

I took my son to the GP as he had a really sore throat. I asked him to check for tonsillitis. When the GP looked at his throat he reminded me that he doesn't actually have any.

To be fair, he did have them removed a good 5 years before that appointment.

WingsofRain · 05/06/2024 18:50

FTMaz · 05/06/2024 13:01

Had to work myself up to my first smear…stupid I know but never been great about anyone looking ‘down there’

anyway talked myself up saying you’ll never see this nurse in public blah blah blah. So I’m lying on the bed with my bits out ready to go and she says ‘oh sorry can I just confirm your address’ reads it out and it’s incorrect so I say oh no that’s wrong and give her the new one. She then says ‘oh have you got the white Mercedes? I live opposite you’ she then asks if I’d prefer someone else to do the smear so I say….in a state of panic and social anxiety ‘no don’t worry you won’t be the first of the neighbours to see me vagina’ WHAT THE FUCK 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ honestly I wanted the floor to swallow me up.

Thank you, I’m crying with laughter now. 😂

It’s exactly the sort of weird thing I can imagine saying myself.

Mountainpika · 05/06/2024 18:43

It's my GP who gets the giggles.
During the covid time, I had to see her and she had to feel my tummy. (Can't remember why.) I was lying on the couch, she was all geared up - face mask, clear plastic visor and her glasses. She started giggling - everything had steamed up and she couldn't see what she was doing. Set me off, as well. Anyone walking past the room must have wondered what was going on. Best GP I've ever had. We always seem to end up laughing.