Sick of rejection, please be gentle

I think it would be really hard to meet someone in your early 30s these days without doing at least a bit of online dating? When you say men aren't interested, where are you actually meeting most of these uninterested men? If it's brief encounters, those don't usually lead to dates.

I think the obvious place to focus your attention is on apps where other people are looking for a relationship too. Maybe you could try different ones?

I'm in the same boat (although I had my dc early) I'm 38 and I think I'm a catch, but quite honestly I think that men no longer want the commitment of a relationship when they can get sex without it. I'm so done with them!

I believe you OP, I have a couple of friends a similar age who are permanently single. Both attractive, interesting, funny women with good jobs and lots going for them, but for whatever reason they haven't met anyone serious. I think there's been a bit of a cultural shift, more people are happy living alone into their 30s (and beyond), so people of both sexes are no longer feeling the pressure to couple up. And once you're into your 30s you've developed your own life, friends, interests, hobbies, and it's harder for someone to fit into that than when you're 21 and finding out who you are. I don't know the solution, but I agree not to dismiss the apps. I met my husband on an app (although recognised him from work), and I've given the same advice to lots of friends to just go on dates, not to expect much from the first date, it's a numbers game etc. One who was adamant the apps don't work met her bf of 3 years on Tinder.

The paid-for dating apps may be better as they weed out the time wasters?

I've been with DH since I was 18, now 40, but I have 2 best friends my age and one is single, the other got married at 39 to someone we both went to school with. Both have always had busy work and social lives, and owned their own homes. There's something in the theory that some men are intimidated when they aren't "needed".

I do think there's a window between late 20s and late 30s where a lot of men are indeed married or in a LTR. All the dads in my NCT group were late 30s. I know a few men on their second marriage but they're late 40s onwards.

I don't know if you've tried it but there's a new dating app on Facebook.

@Andyouresingingasong
Yes, nothing wrong with looking. If you want a new job, house, career etc people are quick to tell you to look. They don't say 'oh it's all down to luck/one day it will happen'. But the minute you mention looking for a life partner they act as if its wrong or taboo. As if you're meant to be coy and passive, just sitting waiting. Ridiculous. Its fine to look for who and what you want.

Obviously I dont know your situation OP but most I know who havent met someone, just dont get out there enough or decide nothing will happen for them and dont make an effort. Any big decision requires effort, and sometimes coming out of your comfort zone a bit.

Going to social events with friends (or join a friendship group/forum for event if no-one you know wants to go), going solo to exhibitions that interest you. If you're on the way back from work etc stop and have a coffee, chill and people watch instead of heading straight home. As well as a good dating app. I know 2 women who gave Hinge a break as they thought it was rubbish. Went back after some time, 1 is married and the other engaged. Im going to her wedding next month. Theyre a bit older than you.

Dont just write off apps, there are men out there who want what you do (don't listen to cynics on this) and you never know, its another chance of meeting someone isnt it, alongside whatever you choose to do in the real world.

@Andyouresingingasong you sound great and like someone I know. I just think that there is definitely luck in finding someone - the right person at the right time.

The last man may have reasons which are absolutely nothing to do with you and it's just lack of alignment. A married friend who is similar age to you isn't smug about her relationship as thinks luck was really the determining factor. Meeting her husband when younger and their paths just forged together.

I don't know what to advise because it is crappy to feel rejected..keep putting yourself out there, hobbies, socials and work and hopefully it will come good for you

I feel the same way.

You have to learn to get over that ego part, it's a killer.
I've got a friend who has 3 houses, took early retirement (in her late 20s!), super clever, above average looking, slim, funny as hell and super kind and generous (by all accounts amazing in bed too) and she ended up having a kid on her own in her early 30's after a string of guys used her and cheated on her. She's fine and happy and thriving but it does make me wonder if men don't like interesting and competent women. I don't feel bad when I look at her and see I'm not alone in not being picked.

I hear that too. I actually cried when I heard Taylor Swift's The Prophecy for the first time! Sometimes the reality no one picked you is quite harsh, but even if they do there's a high likelihood they'd leave again anyway, so easy come easy go with the joy.

You don't need a man to have a child, as you know.

Your post says how you are happy being single, but you're not, really, are you?

It's not unusual in this day and age. I agree with freezing the eggs, prioritise that for sure!

I don't know if you watched the Ashley Maddison Netflix show, but you might want to as it is quite enlightening. I am resigned to the fact I won't date again now (I wear my heart on my sleeve and frankly fall apart when they leave or cheat and I can't do that to myself or dd again). However it was interesting to me that 90% of the users on AM were men. Men talking to bots. I think if that is anything to go by it suggests men are talking to bots saying whatever they want to hear, rather than real women. I've seen a lot of angry men changing profiles to things about being ghosted etc, so assume that's quite commonplace with the bots after time.

Therefore I suggest hobbies and book clubs. Largely because even if you don't meet men you'll have a fun hobby and new friends!

I believe you OP, but even if you were looking, it’s absolutely fine and quite normal to want a partner.

But don’t completely discount the dating apps, particularly as natural situations are not delivering at the moment.