Mum talking about other people's illnesses

I’m only 43 and unfortunately have found myself talking about these kind of things a lot lately, a few of my friends have had people die and I’ve been to too many funerals myself in the last year. I also know a few people who have had heart issues, long term illnesses and cancer. So when I’m chatting to other people I automatically find myself talking about death and sickness and colonoscopies and all the things I never thought I would unfortunately. Am hoping it’ll pass and we’ll all catch a break

edited to add: also divorces- never knew people getting divorced before and in the last year I know of 4 so talk turns to that as well as you’re worried how people are

My dad does this, I think it's an older person thing - I haven't heard of them half the time! I have asked him to start telling me about weddings and births, not divorces and deaths!

My grandmother did this but much worse was finding out that she would tell not only her friends and neighbours but also complete strangers she got chatting to anything and everything of my private business which she knew. She was a horrible old cow though so hopefully other people’s mums/ grans don’t go this far.

My gran did this. Always telling us about a funeral she’d been to, or the infinite details of someone’s diagnosis of a terrible illness that meant it was curtains for them. She wasn’t a miserable person really, but that was what was going on in her life in old age: people dying. My mum would take the piss out of her endlessly for this (behind her back) at the time but now she’s in her 70s herself she bloody does it too. I tune out. My turn for this morbid fascination with other people’s deaths will come too one day.

And competitive Wake spread.

Jean nailed it again,

The older you get the more important illness is. We're all going to die of something and the closer you get to that, stands to reason the more thought you'll give to it. Other people's heart attacks, cancers, strokes and so on become far less something that happens to other people in older generations and far more what happens to people like you. Obviously not everyone dwells on this as they age, but it doesn't take a huge leap of imagination to understand why some do. Just try to change the subject to more positive things.

Nobody needs to use Dr. Google . Just go to my mother's hairdresser on a Friday afternoon . Full of medical experts . And if that fails they can advice you which undertakers do a naice funeral .😀

My mother does this. We have to hear all about the dicky tickers and dodgy knees of everyone in her village, and her sister’s village. And worst of all the village in France they grew up in (with a neat segue into the superior French health service.) I always assumed it was a French thing, except my Irish sister in law insists it’s an Irish thing too, and her mum’s even worse.

In contrast, MIL is currently being treated for tuberculosis and insists it’s all very boring to talk about and she’d rather discuss the interesting things in life. She’s one hell of a trooper!

See! The end Cometh.

Give us oldies a break. Just be glad you are young (ish) and healthy!

It's what DM's do. It's in their DMA. You'll do it too in 50 years. See also collect tea towels and enjoy Countryfile.

My dad does this too, in fact he tells me all about his friends lives despite me never having met any of these people! It’s very annoying however my mum dies 18 months ago so I guess he doesn’t have her to tell these things to - and she loved hearing about this kind of stuff. Luckily my brother and I text regularly to vent about him so that helps.

MIL used to do this.

The best was when I had just told her I had a brain tumour. "Oh yes, XX's second cousin had that. She died."

My mum does this, not just illnesses, but horrific car accidents and other shite she sees on TV. I think it's some kind of anxiety.

My grandma does this too and she's 100 times worse. She used to be a nurse and when I announced my pregnancy, I got several stories of horrific miscarriages and a stillbirth she had helped with. Thanks grandma.

Even when you're super rude and direct and tell her to STOP, she just doesn't. She just goes on and on and on and on. Think some dementia is probably kicking in.

If someone starts giving me too many medical details I don’t want, I just say I’m squeamish and it’s too much info.

Can we also add redacting history to suit their narrative. “Oh Jim, such a dapper man, always wore the finest suit” when Jim actually was seen wearing a suit once in his entire life. “Carol, such an unhappy child, always crying” when Carol, a happy well adjusted child, had one tantrum at an event in 1976.

If it’s any consolation, my own nanna threatened her imminent death for a good 10-15 years.

Yeah my mum.does this ,she phoned me up to let me know of the sad death of somebody her and my dad used to be friends with in the 70 ,s who i haven't seen since about 1978 when I was five
Or she will say you know " sheila" who lives at number 43 ,no I have never met her and then tell me a long convoluted tale about Sheila's granddaughter but she's 82 bless her .

You might regret that in the future when they're no longer around

My mum (79) does this. People I've never met but it's not just health stuff it's every bloody thing going on in their life. Yet if I start talking about anyone I know (whether she's met them or not) then she glazes over and/or gets off the phone

My DM and Daunt do this - myself and Dcousin laugh about it and wonder if we will be the same when older. DM doesn't do anything since covid so it's about the only thing she can talk about really.

The bit that makes me smile is when I ask how DM and DF are, there's usually a litany of minor complaints, but if there isn't DM will say "Okay - for today anyway!" in this really suspicious voice.