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AIBU?

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Original poster

I don't want ex to bring baby to a jacuzzi party

35 replies

LavenderFlowers · 04/06/2024 16:32

I need some perspective as I don't like my exes brother much and that may cloud my judgement with this

My exes brother is home from New York (flash finance guy) this week and wants to meet his nephew (he has sent presents but even when in England, he hasn't made effort to meet 11 month old DS). He is home this weekend and was due to meet DS at exes house for dinner so we changed days for him to have son. I was delighted they were finally meeting.

His brother has now said that the only time he is free to meet them is at a jacuzzi party that same afternoon. Brother likes a drink, as do his friends. He says his friends kids will be there and won't be near the jacuzzi but AIBU to not want DS in that environment with drinking/smoking etc? Ex won't be drinking as he will be driving (and doesn't drink much anyway)

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 04/06/2024 17:17

LavenderFlowers · 04/06/2024 17:08

Thanks, we're new to post break up coparenting and we've been very flexible about knowing where the other brings baby. I didn't realise it was not my business as he shared it with me

He’s sharing it, not asking your permission.

NorthernGirlie · 04/06/2024 17:12

I think unless you never plan to take the baby to a party (wedding, family birthday etc) you can't expect him not to.

fruitbrewhaha · 04/06/2024 17:12

Im not sure what a jacuzzi party is really but sounds like a party where some people will be in a hot tub and some won’t. So surely they will be sitting in a garden, having a some food etc. Surely anyone smoking will do so away from the baby. Do people really smoke much anyway?

Your ex will be there in the afternoon, it will probably get a bit lewd later but your baby isn’t going to be effected by seeing people drunk.

Original poster
LavenderFlowers · 04/06/2024 17:08

Thanks, we're new to post break up coparenting and we've been very flexible about knowing where the other brings baby. I didn't realise it was not my business as he shared it with me

OP posts:
MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 04/06/2024 17:06

It's entirely up to dad where he goes on his contact time.

It's none of your business. Sorry.

Tbskejue · 04/06/2024 16:57

If you trust your ex to keep your child safe then you can’t dictate what kind of social arrangement he takes your child to.

Everythingiscalmfornow · 04/06/2024 16:43

Agree with pp that the fact your ex won't be drinking makes a big difference.
You might not be happy about it but at least your ex can be a responsible parent. Judging by the rest of your post this is going to be a one off and his brother isn't going to be an involved uncle going forward.

RedHelenB · 04/06/2024 16:36

Up to your ex ro make the decision if its his turn to look after ds. Wouldn't bother me though.

Spirallingdownwards · 04/06/2024 16:36

As much as you may dislike it you cannot dictate what your child's father does with him during his contact time. I am glad you qualified your post with the drinking situation as this suggests that your ex would also be sensible with his child's welfare.

chillybroccoli · 04/06/2024 16:35

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