Family kept illness secret before GCSE’s

@Nottherealslimshady
I don't know if those people are thick or selfish

This is it exactly, it's one or the other, selfish or thick.
@Happyharry2003 only you can decide.

I would respond along the lines of
“poor DD feels like absolute shit, has had to drag herself into a room and do her exams in isolation… she isn’t functioning at her best so I’m very worried she won’t pass despite all the hard work she’s put in… and since these are her subjects for A levels if this has affected her performance and prevents her going to college we are all going to be devastated!!”

DO NOT spare their feeling… they’re totally and utterly inconsiderate Cupid stunts!!

It’s great school set up a room in isolation for her, however it’s unfortunate she couldn’t just sit them another day when she’s feeling better…. I hope being unwell hasn’t affected her ability to perform at her best… how bloody awful of your family!

Telling you you’re over reacting is sheer gaslighting behaviour!…. They’re horrible!! and she can ‘just resit them!’ WTAF!! … what like next bloody year!! How do you tell a year 11 girl she’s got to repeat all her hard work and resit an exam in a years time because her aunts and uncles put her at risk!

It really annoys me when people don’t isolate themselves when they’re sick… my daughter has type 1 diabetes… so catching any sort of bug makes her really ill…. What is just a bug to others hospitalises many type 1’s and hospitals have to constantly monitor their sugars.. a simple ‘bug’ could be fatal to our type 1’s… so there’s no way they’d be able to just sit the exam anyway…. If your saltines Jane this terrible attitude about illness how many people have they put at risk!! Hopefully all the other party guests also get sick and give these idiots a lecture!!

why would you risk spreading a bug/disease/virus that had put your own kid in A&E …. Bloody ridiculous!!

and no you did nothing wrong by attending, people saying that are idiots too… what do they expect you to do exactly .. lock your DD away and not let her go out ‘just encase’ so fool is out and about while poorly!

YANBU. People like this drive me up the wall because their own child’s disappointment at missing a party is more important to them than anyone else’s inconvenience.

One of my kids when young had a medical condition which meant any vomiting would put them in hospital on a drip. My family knew this yet on more than one occasion one family member would bring their kids to an event or host us when someone had been vomiting overnight. Eventually I learned to text them any time we were going to meet up and explicitly ask if everyone was well.

I would 100% be making them feel very guilty and would distance yourself for a while.

I would reply that expectation was completely unreasonable and of course they should feel guilty because they are responsible for her needlessly becoming ill at such a crucial time and that being that disrespectful will be hard to get over and it's tough shit it they don't like your response.

Honestly do not be nice. They don't deserve it.

it’s not fair to OP tbh. It was just family lunch and her DD deserved a bit of fun and distraction, you can’t sit and revise ALL hours.
With normal and supportive family this lunch could have been a moral boost for child.
The comments these relatives made at lunch about GCSEs clearly showed that they’re jealous and did it on purpose. I know it’s difficult to believe it but it certainly feels like it.

This is absolutely disgusting. Even without the GCSEs I’d be livid. The first rule of vomiting bugs is you isolate. Your dd sounds like a trooper.

Terrible. Theyve asked you. Onto make them feel guilty?! They bloody should feel guilty

So relieved for her they did this! Glad she was also able to get through it.

Someone asked me to drive their kid to school because their brother had a vomiting bug. I refused because my daughter was in the middle of her exams. They were really annoyed that I refused. Sometimes though you have to put your own kids first.

I’d be fuming and they’d know it!!

Well, they ARE guilty. How they feel is up to them. That would be my reply.

Your Dd is a star to have done her exam and I wish her the greatest success.

And fingers crossed you stay well OP.

I have recommended this book so many times lately but please get it, it’s called ‘you’re not the problem’ it’s brilliant and will be so helpful to you dealing with this from now on.

That’s terrible! Yanbu

Oh OP, I would be livid. This would really affect my relationship with them going forward to be honest.

I am sooo annoyed if anyone knowingly puts me or family at risk of catching something as it's so selfish. Everyone now warns me, even if they just have a sniffle which I really don't care about! But I have had some friends that roll their eyes if I say I don't want to see them due to infections, sickness bugs etc. they're not really my friends anymore!

I can't believe they'd not warn you knowing your daughter had exams.

To those that think you shouldn't have even gone, that's just ridiculous. My two are doing their GCSEs at the moment and they go on for weeks. Our family social life has continued, I haven't even thought about them getting poorly. I would 100% expect my friends and family to tell me if they were poorly before seeing us.

I'm so sorry your family have caused you this stress and I hope your daughter still manages to do as expected xx

I'm so cross on your behalf, such selfish behaviour from your family. Sending positive vibes for the rest of the exams for your DD.

YANBU! I can’t believe the Cheeky..!

You have every right to be absolutely furious. Selfish bastards. Hope you don't all get it.

Massive well done to your dd.

Well done to you and your h too for keeping dd calm, communicating with the school, seeing the GP for a sick note, and keeping going!

I hope your dd feels better soon, and aces her exams!!

This happened to us during COVID and our son ended up in hospital. We still don't speak to some family now. No apology or acknowledgement. And has caused family divide but we don't regret our boundaries. You put up with so much but when it happens to your children it changes things. Look after you and your family. Hope she gets through her exams okay and glad the school are supportive xx

She is a superstar!
If she ever doubts herself in life, remind her of how brave and strong she has been today!

Oh OP I’m so sorry. When you first posted this thread the other day I was so angry on your behalf I read it out to my husband and asked “can you believe this?!”. Have just seen your update and am furious for you and your DD. Well done to you and her school for getting special measures in place and well done to your DD for sitting the exam when feeling poorly. This is the kind of thing I would never forget even if eventually I could forgive. People are so selfish :(

They should feel fucking guilty. Pricks. You can bet money that if she does well they'll all say see you were overeating. They clearly do not care about you or your family.

I would be furious! I would always let anyone know if there was illness,and cancel the event. How stressful for you!

Wouldn’t have gone to a family party during GCSEs

This really is unforgivable. To not have considered the potential consequences initially is so selfish and smacks of putting their wish to attend above everyone else's health. My child is in the middle of GCSEs and I can totally understand your devastation. I hope your daughter is feeling better soon x