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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Boyfriend’s bizarre underwear routine?

213 replies

Snickerdoodle55 · 04/06/2024 09:42

I recently moved in with BF. I have since discovered that he only changes his underwear after he showers in the evening and doesn’t replace them with a new pair each morning after sleeping in them. I think this is very strange and that each time you get dressed for the day you should change your underwear.

I haven’t lived with a man for a long time so I guess I could be unreasonable to think this way?

YABU - he is still changing them daily so no issue

YANBU - he should change them when getting dressed in the morning

OP posts:

Bubbles12345678 · 04/06/2024 10:30

@Snickerdoodle55 my partner does this as well! I think it’s weird, but each to their own I guess and he doesn’t have odd hygiene habits in any other sense 🤷‍♀️ 😂

Fatotter · 04/06/2024 10:29

Never knew anyone intimately who didn't always shower in the morning and put clean underwear on after.

Not sure how I would feel. I’ll never find out because if anything happens to my DH I won’t be sharing my bed til morning with another person….ever!

Wontletmeusemynormalname · 04/06/2024 10:29

So for those who shower in the morning, do you change your underwear in the evening? He is changing every day, he just does it at night. Not sure what the issue is.

SnowFrogJelly · 04/06/2024 10:27

SnowFrogJelly · 04/06/2024 10:25

Sounds fun to me..

Oops I meant fine!

Also could be fun

MuggleMe · 04/06/2024 10:26

I guess the issue is that normally you're wearing fresh pants for the portion of the day you're around other people, then they get sweaty at night but it doesn't matter. Whereas he's starting the day with sweaty pants. Ick.

Notquitethere60 · 04/06/2024 10:26

I can’t see the problem. As long as he’s changing them once a day after showering that’s fine. I often sleep in pants that I’ve worn during the day. Shower in the morning fresh underwear.

SnowFrogJelly · 04/06/2024 10:25

Sounds fun to me..

ApolloandDaphne · 04/06/2024 10:25

It sounds perfectly fine to me. Daily shower and underwear change is normal. Just because it is not at the time of day many people change their underwear doesn't mean it's wrong.

buffyslayer · 04/06/2024 10:23

Idontjetwashthefucker · 04/06/2024 09:45

I don't understand showering in the evening only, can't imagine you'd feel very fresh the next morning and ready for the day. Shower at night if I'm particularly grubby from the day but always, always shower in the morning with fresh underwear

I shower at night as I exercise then so it makes more sense rather than the morning

KreedKafer · 04/06/2024 10:23

But he's still wearing his pants only for one day? They're not getting any more dirty because a portion of the time he's wearing them is spent asleep. It's also totally normal to shower at night rather than the morning. It's just a personal preference.

There's nothing bizarre about this. There's also nothing bizarre about sleeping in pants - loads of people do.

Original poster

Snickerdoodle55 · 04/06/2024 10:22

He doesn’t smell (wouldn’t have moved in if he did!) and I don’t necessarily think it is ‘dirty’ more just unusual and not the freshest way to start the day

OP posts:

Mothership4two · 04/06/2024 10:17

It's not exactly bizarre behaviour but I've not knowingly come across it before. I would feel grubby wearing pants all day that I had slept in.

Glitterblue · 04/06/2024 10:17

DH and I sleep in underwear, we usually have super quick showers before bed and clean underwear (just like a couple of mins under the water to soap and rinse off - can’t stand going to bed feeling like I’ve got all the grime of the day on me!) and then proper showers with hair washes in the morning, and clean underwear.

Lifelikinotdothinki · 04/06/2024 10:15

Years ago growing up, we didn’t have showers we just had a bath tub. All of us had a bath once a week. My dad was mean with the hot water, so you weren’t allowed much. No one died.

Yellowhammer09 · 04/06/2024 10:13

My DH does this. Showers in the evening, changes into his underwear and that's it for 24hrs. I found it unusual but he doesn't smell 🤷‍♀️

Tiswa · 04/06/2024 10:13

It is fairly standard behaviour (I think these threads on mumsnet are far more the outlier)

a man who showers every day and changes his underwear every day has a good hygienist routine

Pippa246 · 04/06/2024 10:11

@Snickerdoodle55 - you’ve only recently moved in and noticed this. Did you find him a bit whiffy before due to his underwear not being clean on every morning? If no, then I don’t see what the issue is.

everyone is different- I hate showering so have a bath most nights (I do shower at the gym if I’ve been swimming) but no morning shower - I’m sure some people would find that strange.

MotherofDogs3 · 04/06/2024 10:10

How is he unclean for not changing his underwear again after putting clean boxers on after showering the night before? Only on mumsnet is this seen as unhygienic and weird 🙄 The man is showering EVERY evening and changing his boxers EVERYDAY. Yep proper trampy behaviour 🤣

Notamorningkindofperson · 04/06/2024 10:10

What's weird about sleeping in underwear?

Idontjetwashthefucker · 04/06/2024 10:08

BigDahliaFan · 04/06/2024 10:02

OOh, wait till the menopause honey....

Sorry but fresh underwear in the morning (unless you are in your 20s and doing the walk of shame) is minimum cleanliness...

Show quote history

I have to agree, clean underwear in the morning most definitely. Can't imagine going to work in underwear I've worn all night and then not showered either

pinkdelight · 04/06/2024 10:07

It's not standard, but it's hardly bizarre and understandable given that he sleeps in his pants - that's the bit that's the issue, but not a huge issue. I was expecting some really whacky underpant ritual.

Mothership4two · 04/06/2024 10:07

I thought most people usually put on a pair of clean pants in the morning. DH, DF and DSs certainly do.

ClockworkDisaster · 04/06/2024 10:06

My fella sleeps in underwear. He tends to wear his ‘sleepy time pants’ at night which are a bit baggier and then changes into normal (clean) ones in the morning. He has more normal pants than sleepy time pants though so if they haven’t been washed in time he will use a fresh pair of normal pants to sleep in instead.