To think being single is amazing!

There's a lot of people in lonely marriages/relationships. Most women outlive their male partners and are usually in better health, so being married in your 30/40's doesn't mean that you won't be on your own.
I think that it depends on the quality of other relationships, friends and family. I think that it's something that you've got to plan for while you are fit and well. My single sister (68) put a lot of effort to build friendships and is very involved in charity work. She expects too much from my DD's, who she never bothered with, Covid and everyone ageing/health issues has changed her friendship group. Emotionally not everyone needs to be in a partnership.

I pity people like you that have no self worth unless it comes from another person.

Truly making yourself happy is so so much better than relying on another person’s love and affection to ensure your happiness. What a terrible way to live.

It’s fair enough @NeverEnoughPants . I was single for so long I really was thoroughly sick of it! It wasn’t so much the single ness but not having children (and I know you can have them alone but it wasn’t what I wanted) and feeling everyone else’s lives were moving on and I was stuck.

I can see that if I hadn’t really wanted children or been ambivalent I wouldn’t have been as bothered though.

Many people end up old and lonely even if they are married and have kids.

The key thing here is 'can be' bleak.

Life is what you make it. It's doesn't have to be bleak at all. 52, single for 14 years and honestly loving life.

I'm newly single and finding it really hard. So I'm glad I stumbled across this post!

Really? Wouldn't it be the other way about? Here you have a person who is very happy single. That means they'll always be ok, as they never have to rely on anyone else for their happiness. Whereas the person who thinks you need a relationship to be happy, is in the far riskier position. It is they you should reserve your sadnes for, for their options are limited.

It won’t be a popular view here but I do think it can be the novelty factor. When you’ve been single for a decade or more and head into your middle age with no partner or children it can be bleak. I knew that wasn’t what I wanted from life.

Genuinely not sure if this is a joke.

I was widowed just over two years ago - don't panic, I'm not going to do the obvious, because frankly I'm now in agreement with the OP.

Don't get me wrong, my late DP was the absolute love of my life and I would have happily trundled into our twilight years together. I miss him immeasurably.

However, now that I'm finally sorting out the wreckage of his untimely demise, emotionally, financially and practically, the thought of entertaining a new relationship turns my blood cold.

I'm 55 so I'm hardly top of the list of desirable females, and actually I don't give two figs what anyone thinks of me.

I've always been in relationships or married, so I'm actually thinking hold on - I can do whatever I like (elderly parent issues notwithstanding).

I wouldn't have chosen this but as I have no choice, my future is going to be mostly about me - my security, my well-being, my interests, my cat lol.

I could, possibly, entertain the idea of a companion to squire me around at some point, as my widowed Mum did, but anything more than casual friendship is off the table.

I'm just at the beginning of this new chapter in my life, and I absolutely do not want another script writer getting in on the act.

Anyway, just thought I'd chime in with my new tribe and high five you all. It may not be quite "amazing" for me yet, but by the Gods I will try to make it so. I've been Miss Haversham and now I'm feeling a bit more Gentleman Jack if that makes any sense - with a dash of Polly from Peaky Blinders lol.

14 years single here, op, and no intention of ever changing that!

Life is so much easier when you don't have to think for two.

No, no,no!!!

This is the type I was talking about!!

Can you really not understand that for SOME people, their PERFECT life is being single.

I was single, well no serious relationships, for about 10 years between my late 20s and 30s and I look back on this time as one where I was really happy. For all the reasons you stated below. I think every woman should have a few years of being single, live on their own and realise that actually it isn't scary or a failure. It can be a time where you realise your own self worth and understand you CAN have a wonderful life without being part of a couple. I'm married now to someone I don't feel I have to compromise with, who respects and loves me, but I also know if anything going to wrong, or I'm no longer happy, I will happily live on my own and not need a man to make my life complete. It's a very liberating feeling

I'm in my 60s and I've been single for more than 30 years. Looking back, I can see that I hated being in relationships - they made me feel claustrophobic and trapped, and they never worked for me. I'm just not cut out for that degree of intimacy and involvement in every aspect of someone's life. Yes, there have been times it's been lonely, and times when dealing with everything on my own (including no-one to share key milestones in my own and my children's lives) has been tough. Sometimes I wish I was the sort of person who flourishes in a relationship, but I'm not.

I've found that the sympathy and pity has diminished as I've got older, and as more and more people around me find themselves living single lives through choice or circumstance: in the last ten years, as my friendship circle ages with me, more and more people have been through marriage break-ups or, sadly, one partner dying, so there are far more single people around me than when I was OP's age. If I had my time again, I wouldn't do it differently.

Disagree. A relationship, even a good one, doesn't necessarily make life easier. I can't think of a single positive thing that a relationship would bring to my life. It's very dependent on the individual.

Im glad you are happy op.

But i also hope (and not in a pitying poor you way) that you one day meet a decent kind man who loves you the way you deserve. A good relationship makes life easier. A bad one makes it all much harder. I hope you find a good one soon.

I’ve been single since 2016 and would never live with anyone again. One friend asks me if I’m dating and when I say no remarks that I could change my mind, unlikely after 8 years of blissful peace!

Yanbu op.
It's lovely.
There are plenty of people about though who simply can't understand that one can be happy single, and ironically, that sympathy sigh can come AFTER they've just ranted about the latest shit thing their bloke has done whilst you've not had anything negative to contribute!

Really interested in this thread. Can I ask how old you all are? I’ve been on my own since 2017 (but with children at home, who provide lots of conversation, sense of purpose etc). Am wondering what it’ll be like when they leave home. I’m now 54.

I do feel sad though that my view of relationships is so negative. I was in a 20-year relationship and was pretty miserable for most of that time. I’d be sad if I got to the end of my life without having had a happy relationship. On the other hand, life with fulfilling work, lots of good friends and very good relationships with my children and wider family means that I’m not usually thinking about a romantic relationship.