To think being single is amazing!

Well, you don’t have to stay married @dollandstep

This post is so interesting to me. I'm 42 and married but I do very bitterly regret the time I wasted in my 20s and early 30s on men. It felt like my life revolved around it in lots of ways, and in hindsight, I can't for the life of me work out why I allowed (or wanted) that to be the case (insecurity maybe, ingrained patriarchy?).

Being with someone really does require so much compromise and I know that if I was ever to divorce, I'd never live with someone again.

Honestly, my ideal scenario would be to live alone (with my DC), and have someone who I dated in a very casual way. Someone to go out to dinner with or even on holiday but with absolutely no expectation of any real commitment. A likeminded companion.

I was very happy single for 13 years and would be happy single again. Married now.
I never experienced anything like you describe in a relationship though @Cantrememberasongname you must have had a low bar.

Oh yes! Single parent since 2012, a couple of dates over the years then someone serious in 2019 who died. I'm totally against ever sharing my life again. I'm happy, I'm free and I love my space. (I'm not even dreading the teens leaving home shortly!)

@MakeTheFriendshipBracelets

Out of curiosity does your opinion apply to single men too?

Oh you are absolutely right.

This is mumsnet. A place where every married woman is completely happy within their relationship, and never has any issues with the man in their lives. A place where marriage is the epitome of joy, and nobody ever gets told to LTB...

I agree with you that being single is a million times better than a bad relationship

I was single for 7 years and loved it. Holidays doing what I wanted, lazing just because I could, spontaneity unchallenged and all my time my own to choose exactly what I felt like.

In a relationship now but my partner commutes away 2 days a week so I'm happy with those days alone.

I'm middle aged and people felt sorry for me sometimes while others envied me. We don't all need to be needed. Some of us genuinely like our own company!

Glad you're happy that way to do exactly as you please. You go live your life happily!! 😁

Let's face it @MakeTheFriendshipBracelets , it is you that is doing the protesting. Everyone else is answering the ops question. I am sorry for you that you're not happy. You get one life.

The only embarrassing thing is that you can't believe people can be happy living differently to you.

I've been single for 16 years, if I'd wanted a relationship I would have found one by now.

MIL ended her last relationship 11 years ago when she was 62. She said she doesn’t want another partner as men of her generation expect to be waited on. She’s happy, has her interests, us and her friends.

It's definitely not synonymous.

But if someone says that they could never be fully happy and content if they were single, it's a fair assessment of how they feel/are in their life

Yes, but what's your point? Being single doesn't mean being alone.

I agree with you Op, the freedom is liberating. As ds gets within touching distance of adulthood and we're planning for him moving on and up I do wonder if that will change. I have a full life though and am content in my own company so I hope that it does not. Like other happy singles on here I would never live with someone again.

I completely understand that. I have friends that have really found it difficult to not be able to have children for one reason or another.

I'm sorry that life hasn't worked out the way you wanted it. I've been fortunate in that I had my children, and now I find myself blessed to be single. I may well feel very differently about it in your shoes.

I have a DS and maybe grandchildren one day, also plenty of friends. If the only person in your life is your partner that's pretty sad.

For me personally I preferred being single, (despite having kids) to being with my ex. He treated me horribly and looking back it was bordering on abuse. But I wouldn't choose that over being with my husband. I like being able to share the mental load with someone, I have someone who I love who loves me back and who I look forward to coming home to every day. And I would never willingly give that up to go back to being single ( which had its plus points).

That is some hot take!

I promise you, I am fully content and truly happy. What's not to be happy about? I do a job I enjoy, can do what I want when I want, don't rely on someone else to go to places that I want to go to. Some people find it tricky to be single because they haven't mastered the beautiful art of independence.

Honestly, it's them I feel sorry for. Find it hard to go to things on their own, can't sleep if their partner is away for work, if they find themselves single they spend their free time searching for someone to plug the gap.

I don't have any gaps. My life is full. I have people in my life that I adore and that love me.

If you think that single people can't be happy, honestly that only means that you can't be happy, single. It's not a reflection on me or on op.

Why did you post on this thread @MakeTheFriendshipBracelets?

Your posts could only result in one objective- to make strangers unhappy.

Why?

I've had the best of the best (in my opinion) and the worst of the worst but I'm in agreement with the OP. Ultimately everyone is different and lives change.

Dependency on another person for happiness and security is a double edged sword. As I have found to my cost. I am, moving forward, enough for me. Our culture of coupledom is sometimes toxic and limiting.

Ultimately if we are responsible for creating our own happiness then doing it single is not a sign of failure. Quite the opposite on fact.

I was devastated to find myself single again a couple of years ago. But now I bloody love it and would think twice about another relationship.
The sheer freedom is amazing.