To think being single is amazing!

A mix. I have lots of single and child free friends, single but have kids, in a relationship but no kids, relationship and kids. The problem is I need to see them more regularly!

For those who like being single, and DO NOT have kids:
Do you have friends with similiar life’style’?

I find it really hard being the only one single / without kids, it’s very isolating on so many ways.

I'm starting to settle into being single. I feel like im rediscovering myself again.

Im 38 and been single for a long time and will probably be single for the rest of my life whether I like it or not, at the moment I definitely prefer being single and don’t feel like that will change once my kids are grown up. I have a pretty full life with work, hobbies etc so hopefully that will continue for a good while. By the time I’m retired if I’m still alive a lot of people my age will have already lost their significant others so I won’t be the only singleton around!

I loved being single - and I was, apart from brief flings - for the best part of 12 years. I also love being married, because it’s the right marriage, mutually supportive and with plenty of space for us to do our own thing.

Neither is better than the other because it’s all about circumstances. I loved being single because I have a good network of friends, who are sociable and active. I imagine if I didn’t have that network, it wouldn’t have been quite so much fun. Similarly, the wrong relationship is utterly dismal.

Sad to read this. I don't believe that no man was ever interested in you. You come across as being sad and lonely. Please be kind to yourself. Treat yourself to something that will make you happy. Smile and try to be positive. Are you building friendships through work/ groups or suchlike? Please forgive me if I come across as patronising; that definitely isn't my intention. Please take care

Hip Hip Hooray. Enjoy spending on YOU

It’s very individual and also circumstantial.

Some people don’t need other people

Some people have met the wrong person

Some people have met the right person

Two incomes are better than one, if both people bring in an income that is. I mean some people are financially a drain but from a purely economic point of view it can be beneficial.

I agree OP. I've been single for most of my almost 65 years, except for a 12 year marriage, and I love every moment of it. I've been separated from my DH for over 20 years and never had any intention of looking for anyone else. We didn't have children btw. I'm just not cut out for relationships.

I sorry that happened to you and that you are still suffering. I hope you find peace and heal fully with your cats and new life.

My first marriage ended badly and I was very hurt. Although my first husband was a weak and cowardly man, he wasn't a bad person. Before it all went wrong we were happy, so my experience didn't put me off marriage.

My current husband is a kind, clever and loving man. He is everything I wanted and more. I know I'm lucky. Not every marriage is happy, but I knew even before I met him that I didn't want to spend my life alone.

I’m speaking from my experience too & acknowledging that we’re all different.

I was in a civil partnership for 10 years & suicidally depressed by the end of it. I quite simply couldn’t bear living with anyone else now - except cats - and still have nightmares about it on occasion, although far fewer than I used to. So being in a live-in relationship with someone would, for me, be my nightmare come to life.

But from what you say, you wouldn’t like to spend the rest of your life single.

No. I voted for YANBU, because if someone thinks being single is great, that's great. For them. Why should I think that is being unreasonable?

I wouldn't presume to say that someone else's life would be my nightmare either. Had could I possibly know what their life is like when I haven't walked in their shoes? Such a presumption certainly would be unreasonable.

I can only speak from my own experience. I didn't enjoy being a single. I don't believe that makes me unusual or unreasonable. The vast majority of people I know in real life prefer to have a life partner. That is my experience.

You seem a little defensive. Why would that be? I don't mind if you say you prefer to be single. Why do you care so much that I admit that I prefer to be married?

That’s a YABU then? I’m glad you’re happy, but you’re clearly not like most of us on this thread.

For me your life would be a nightmare, & you’d clearly hate mine!

Agree. Its probably well meaning but it’s so patronising like being single means living a lesser life and we’re only whole beings with a man on our bed.

Its such a small minded attitude

I have been married twice with a break of five years between the end of my first marriage and meeting my second husband. I married young the first time and we split up after only six years.

There were a few small advantages to being single (having the bed to myself being the main one) and I tried very hard to pretend to myself and others that being single was great. But it wasn't.

Most of my friends were happily married and those that weren't were - like me - unhappy to be single. We went through the motions of pretending to be independent women out and about having fun, but we weren't convincing ourselves or anyone else.

More than anything, I wanted a life partner. I met my husband after being single (except for a couple of short-term unsatisfactory relationships) for five years.

We have been married for fifteen years and I would hate to be without him. He's ten years older than me, so I sometimes think about what life without him would be like and I don't think it would be good.

This. It’s an utterly stupid and unimaginative comment, however well meaning.

This kind of comment is so frustrating!
It comes across as you can’t be really complete, fulfilled and living a good life unless you are in a couple.
Please stop perpetuating this nonsense.

Without sounding pompous I think the best relationship is the one with ourselves. Which does not mean self-obsession but being at peace within.

@morningtoncrescent62

Looking back, I can see that I hated being in relationships - they made me feel claustrophobic and trapped, and they never worked for me

I can completely relate to this. I am in a (largely) happy relationship now but I have always felt a bit trapped and stifled when I am with a man. Even the lovely man I am with now. My partner is just about worth it but I have never felt that being in a couple is my natural state and even now I fantasise about being on my own.

When I look back at my life, the times I have been freest, been most productive, happy and authentic have usually been when I have been single. Being in relationships is vastly overrated. It rarely brings out the best in people.

I do get sick of the unsolicited pity though. There is simply no need for it at all! Many people cannot live with themselves which personally I find very sad. Though many cannot afford to live alone.

I've been married and had my children - who are now all adult. This time is for me. I have my own home (only because of inheritance, I've been a low earning all my working life) and a dog, not a great deal of income coming in but enough to cover the bills. And I am in heaven. No worries about money being frittered away - unless I am the one frittering (in which case, obviously, it isn't frittering, it's essential expenses), can walk my dog whenever and whereever I want, reduce or increase my work hours without having to justify to anyone...

Never again am I going to hitch my wagon to a man.

I think single is fine but it is important to find fellow women who also don't need or want a man and certainly where I live very few women exist who are happy on their own. They lack enjoyment of hobbies and me time and are quite conventional. I hope I find a couple of women like that soon where I live.

Although I'm married and have been for years, I loved being single!!

The freedom to choose what I was doing, where I was going, no compromises. It was fabulous. I wanted to go traveling so I took my single self off around the world. Was single again at 27, decided to move countries (and then met my husband).

Your comment comes from a good place I'm sure but is misplaced. Some people genuinely don't want a relationship and you shouldn't disregard that. Please believe people when they say things.