Husband wants to put all his pensions in trust for kids.

This is what I would do!

Leave your estate to your kids. Skip over him.
No need to even tell him. Go make a will quietly and without input from him.

Wills can be changed at a later date if you change your mind. They’re not irrevocable.

Leave whatever you’ve got in a discretionary trust if you’re concerned about kids inheriting too soon/young age.

Id be really hacked off with his thinking.

I wouldn’t say a word but I would seek advice from a divorce lawyer who specialises in this area. I’m pretty sure he has sought legal advice and is way ahead of you. He has realised how vulnerable he is and is scrabbling around to protect his assets.

If he cheated the old marriage is over anyway. Most cheaters don’t have the character traits required for reconciliation.

Why are you still in the marriage? What was your reason for trying to reconcile?

You could test it by suggesting you do the same with your pension and rental property

@messiejessie I would divorce and sort ut out now, you would be entitled to a share of his pension.

If the marriage is rocky I wonder if it is a move to protect it from a divorce?

He doesn’t need permission though or the OP to sign off on it does he? (not 100%) but in my pensions I can change the beneficiary whenever I want. No one is notified except my employer and pension company.

Are they any assets other than the pension eg significant isa’s, VCT, other rentals or onshore or offshore bonds? If there are other significant assets eg any of those then leaving pension to kids makes sound sense as you have no IHT to pay in theory.

I'm sure pensions don't attract IHT. (Another poster has also said this). Therefore putting them into a trust for the kids in order to avoid IHT is nonsense. So I'm pretty sure he's suggesting it instead to somehow avoid you getting a share on divorce instead.

Definitely get legal advice. From perspective of divorce much more so than re death.

No, they would not. They don't give a toss who you nominated person is

I've written about this before. Many years ago a school mum friend had a rocky marriage, they were 40s and children primary age. Wealthy corporate husband was coming up with such ideas about pension in trust for children etc.

She found out by chance when a letter was inadvertently sent to her that he was planning on divorce, but for a few years down the line. He'd also bought a property with a family member and generally squirrelling away assets.

She saw a solicitor and the advice was if he wants a divorce he can have it now, not in a few years time. They divorced soon after.

Glad you got 50% of the joint pension.

How did he react?

I agree with pp, do not agree to this. You will need his pension.

How long have you been married ?

Op - as above he's getting his affairs in order ready to divorce. He is literally telling you he feels no financial obligation to provide for you. Tread v carefully. FWIW in my case my (high earning) ex of 25 yrs suddenly withdrew all funds from our joint acts and diverted his salary to an act in his name. I filed immediately as had sensed it was on the cards and had been preparing for it in the background, had legal advice, putting money aside etc. I got 50% of our joint pension pot amongst other things. That gives me huge security in retirement and means I have made our kids beneficiaries. Ex has an OW and it is a relief to know we are protected from any remarriage. I live on less these days and it's been tough but I'm more financially ok than I thought I would be. UC, council tax discount etc. kicked in when I needed them and CMS was more than I was expecting. Plus I have peace and you can't put money on that! Good luck.

I would divorce him to be honest. He doesn't care about you. He doesn't have your back. You would be much better off getting a divorce than him dying. You have shared assets and he's trying to give them away.

She needs it to live on! Presumably its money he earned throughout the marriage.

I'd divorce him now and go for half the pension pot and house. Seek urgent legal advice but do not tell him about this. Forget about him dying - get your hands on joint assets now.

Agree, big flag that he wants to mess about with his pension pot, maybe making noises about putting it in trust but syphoning some off too. It is asset of the marriage and he may want 50% of your rental house. Ask a solicitor, if you think marriage is over, Sort the whole pot out and then you can leave all your remaining assets to your kids .

Be prepared for divorce - do not agree that his pensions belong to the children - these have been built during your marriage and should be split with you,
In your situation I would get legal advice; the IHT story doesn’t add up and certainly doesn’t take your interests into account.

He's planning to divorce you. Sign nothing. Get legal advice fast.

Use the money to live if she needs it.

No, it doesn't.

I’ll update this. If the legal advice sounds like he’s very likely protecting assets for a divorce you need to file asap rather than send him big neon warning signs that you’re about to. So perhaps the withdrawing funds from joint costs is a bad idea right now.

Yeah, head down the divorce route and secure your future finances now. Then he can do what he wants with what is left of his pension but can't touch your share.

This. You might end up asking for a divorce because once you've done that legally I don't think he can put his pension in a trust. He'd have to share pension with you whether he wants to or not.

Agree. OP you need to get a move on to protect yourself now!

In the words of MN, it looks like he's getting his ducks in a row, so you should too. Expert legal advice needed here.