Do your kids like going to school?

My son is only at pre school nearly 4 but he loves school, but I personally hated school as a child, especially the last two years of primary school, I used to fake illness not to go, and that was because I was being bullied, so maybe check the reason they don't want to go....

I think you need to have a conversation with him. I spend most days saying I don’t want to go to work but realistically I love it when I’m there. I work in a school and we have children who struggle coming in but seem happy whilst they’re there. There are children who genuinely don’t like it for various reasons and may need support. If you speak to him he might just tell you about something he doesn’t like, it could be the teacher or someone in his class or something that’s happened that you might be able to help him with.

@Kazzybingbong do you follow the curriculum or do you unschool? Or something in between. I sometimes think about homeschooling DS5 but I'm worried it would be a bigger battle than school is now and that he wouldn't learn very much. Home learning was a nightmare for him because writing and most other subjects belong at school, not home. He does his homework at lunchtime in school because he won't do it at home. I think he would love unschooling but he would end up doing reading and maths and nothing else.

Ds1 (year 13) - loves it. He officially left 2 weeks ago but keeps going back in
Ds2 (year 11) - doesn't say much, quite enjoys it I think
Ds3 (year 8) - loves drama, art, music, clubs and school trips. Not bothered about the rest
Ds4 (year 6) - loves it. Was off school for an operation this week. He was missing his friends and teacher from 8:15am on the morning of the operation and wanted to have a zoom call with his class while in the recovery room!
Ds5 (year 5) - hates it and cries most mornings. I'm hoping secondary school will be better.

My son is 10 (year 5) and he likes school. He enjoys seeing his friends, he likes his teachers and seems to enjoy the things they do.

Occasionally, after a holiday, he will say 'oh, I don't want to go to school' but only in the same way I would feel I don't want to go back to work as I have been enjoying the holidays.

He is happy going.

My autistic daughter was like this from the moment she could talk. Didn’t want to go to nursery, didn’t want to go to school, cried every morning at drop off and it got progressively worse. She developed severe separation anxiety and it was a really hard time for the whole family.

We deregistered her 12 months ago to home educate and she’s a different child. So much happier and now has the freedom a child is meant to have. It’s a whole lifestyle and you need to be aware of your responsibilities and at times it is tough since I’m with her day in day out, but she’ll never go back to school, I’m pretty sure of that.

ds(20) loved primary, he is an only child so loved the social aspect of it and also enjoyed some subjects such as maths, not so much English, but it was a small price to pay for the rest of it.

Secondary was not much different to be honest except it was harder work, but again socially he was in a good, large group of friends and never had any issues with bullying etc. He also was in top sets so didn't struggle academically which always helps as a lot of issues with school develop due to knocks in confidence and self esteem issues.

There were some behaviour issues in his low performing school with a very mixed intake (bottom 1/3 in Scotland) but he seems to never be involved/impacted by them. One of his teachers did tell them once they were discussed in the staff room regularly as they stood out as close knit year group for some reason with much less issues that other years and the teachers couldn't work out why.

I think it depends on so many different factors- the child, the teacher, the other children in the class- and even a child who generally says they like or even love school probably won’t love it all the time, and a child who says they don’t like it before they go out the door can still be happy enough when they actually get there! I’d say that was my daughter. She does well in school, is happy and sociable when she is there and likes her teacher but she would still sometimes say she doesn’t like it and would rather be home or out playing with friends.
I think most people probably don’t have the choice to consider anything other than traditional school eg homeschooling, because they have to also hold down a job! So it wouldn’t enter many people’s heads to consider whether it’s the right thing. It’s just a fact of life.

Removed my son to home educate when he was 10 sadly a lot of the trauma was already there. Found this - copy pasted.

Imagine you start a new job and they send a strict dress code, down to the colour of your socks and style of your shoe. They also send you a list of equipment which they say you must have every day. Some of it seems a bit strange - two green pens?- but off you go dutifully to Smiths and equip yourself.
On the first day, you’re lined up with your colleagues and inspected. Anyone whose clothes aren’t exactly according to the dress code is told they’ll have to work an extra half hour. Same for any missing equipment. The penalties add up - wrong colour socks and missing protractor? One hour after work.
You’re a bit concerned at this because you had arranged a lift home and if you have to stay late you’ll miss it. You check your clothes and equipment, all seems okay. You pass the check, but the woman next to you has the wrong shoes. She’s distressed at the news that she’ll be staying late - she had plans later. Tough. She starts worrying about how she’s going to get new shoes to avoid the same tomorrow whilst also staying late at work. You don’t know how to help.
You get into your office and look around at your colleagues, but there’s no time to chat. On the whiteboard is a list of expectations for the day. You must be on task at all times and this will be monitored through your computer. Toilet breaks are limited to particular times and you’ll be queuing because it’s the same time for everyone. Eyes must be kept on your computer and this will be tracked. You must sit facing forwards and not slouch. You must use a regulation ruler whenever you read a document. If you break the rules, you’ll be kept after work the same day.
You‘re told that if you get too many ‘after works’ then you’ll spend a day in the Quiet Room where no one will talk to you for the whole day and you can’t eat lunch with your colleagues or go to the toilet more than twice. You start to feel a sense of unease. You’re worried about whether you can comply and what will happen if you start gazing off into space or rocking on your chair.
The office is very quiet. ‘Isn’t it lovely?’ says your manager. ‘People here appreciate our structure and clear boundaries. You’ll do the best work you have ever done here because no time is wasted. We’ve set it up so you don’t have to worry about making decisions, you just do what we say and concentrate on your work’.
You think perhaps this isn’t the right place for you, but they remind you that you’ve signed a five year contract without a get out clause. There are no other options. You are powerless.
What effect would that have on you? Would you be happy and relaxed at work? Would you be motivated and doing your best for those five years? Might you feel anxious and trapped or resentful and angry?
And why would we think it would be any different for our kids?

Absolutely! Keep it in proportion. The worry is those who prefer to be at school rather than being at home.

OP, I hear you. My Year R doesn't want to go to school. And I do wonder, in reality, how many would rather go to school than be at home with their family. What I think is wrong is we are told to work, but not given enough AL to look after them in the holidays. It's all wrong. But we do the best we can. Hugs xxx

I realise I'm likely to be alone in this, but this is why, if I'm ever lucky enough to have children, I will be homeschooling them.

Day care/nursery/school etc is all institutionalised and cortisol (the stress hormone) goes stratospheric. Children need to be in familiar situations with familiar people and they need plenty of time outdoors to explore and play.

Happier children grown into happier adults.

I hated school but I had a brilliant life out of school and everyone seemed to hate school. I tend to find now that because kids are staring at screens more rather than disappearing all day on their bikes with their friends, climbing trees etc they seem to enjoy school more as it’s the time they get their interactions. I think it’s quite sad how most kids won’t get to experience the childhood we had in the 80’s.

Interesting post. My dc have always been home educated and likely always will be until they reach 16. They all love learning and have no desire to try school.

From my experience some schools are fantastic nurturing places, others destroy kids confidence and love of learning.

My 7 year old loves it. Was excited to see his birthday would be on a school day so he could celebrate with his friends. If I ask him on half term if he's excited to be going back to school he says 'of course'- he's a sociable little thing though and I think we've been lucky that he has thus far been quite popular.

I hear those words daily from my youngest. Every single school day we have a "discussion' where I'm told school is a prison and teachers "torture" the kids and the work is boring and they don't learn anything and why do children have to go. Every single day. (ASD, PDA, EBSA)
And now the older one's school anxiety has progressed to panic attacks.
So fair to say neither of mine like school.

Both of our DC hated it. So did I when I was a child. DW seems to be the only one in our family who liked school.

We don't follow a curriculum in the sense of an online school like Kings InterHigh, but our style is a mix of what would be termed "unschooling" and traditional home education. We're led by DD's interests and motivations - she wants to do the DELF A1 exam by the time she 'should' have finished Year 6, and GCSE Sociology by the time she 'should' have finished Year 7, so she focuses mostly on those from an academic perspective and we do worksheets and more formal work on this. Everything else is project based - she's into fashion at the moment so she's reading a lot about fashion through history and her projects tie into that; she is learning to code so we do a lot of that together; she's a member of lots of different groups (some home-ed specific, some not) so there's socializing and developing different skills through those.

She's come on leaps and bounds across the board since starting home ed - not just academically, but in her confidence too. It's been lovely.

Her school was lovely and the best in the area; it matched every criteria we were looking for when choosing a school. No other school came close, and there's no other school we'd consider for her. She didn't want to try another school anyway, she wanted to be home educated 🙂

Fascinated by this - how does it work? Do you set her a curriculum? Will she be going back for GCSEs?

Ds14 goes to school easy but he has solid friendship group and enjoys some subjects.
Dd12 doesn't want to school because lessons are boring and some children are not nice. Her primary was nice and she enjoyed that but I think the kids in her secondary are more rough than she got used to in her primary. Swearing etc

My DS (6.5 years) says it weekly but then goes in fine and has fun all day. His main reasons are its boring and he would rather say home and watch TV. I think he's just hit the age where he realises that TV at home could be more fun that being in school all day.

My children enjoy learning but hate school. I was exactly the same and would call it jail. They don't refuse school but they don't like it. I think it's much to do with the undesirable area we live in (Yorkshire) which has taken a nose dive recently. They feel better that we are moving away however. Teen DD was collecting books up around the house yesterday for reading, so I'm happy they want to learn. It is a shame they feel so sad about school. They can definitely hold their own so I'm not too worried about them being bullied. They complain most about favouritism displayed by staff. *Edited because I can't spell for shit.

I think this sums it up.

DD loves school because she loves learning. But she hates school because the unruly boys who call her names, laugh at her, throw things, never get told off properly, but get rewarded on the few bits of good behaviour they exhibit. it’s miserable. She just wants to learn.

DD hated it so much. I took her to a home educators camp before I pulled her out, to see if she was happier in that environment and so I could talk to other parents who had been through it, see how the kids turn out without school. I didn't send her back to school after.

She's happier now. Severe meltdowns almost stopped very quickly, she sleeps, she doesn't have sensory issues with clothes, no bullying (there are some worrying effective 4yo bullies), and there's zero pressure to be someone she isn't.