Awkward invite to OW/affair wedding

Just decline the wedding and keep declining other invites. Try not to let her have your mobile number if she doesn’t already. If you don’t see her that much at work hopefully it will make it easier to avoid the invitations.

I’d do a few social things with her but not go overboard and be quite unavailable in the hope she wouldn’t think I was horrible but equally wouldn’t want to really be great mates. I’d not go to the wedding. X

Yes. I’ve had people want to see me outside of work, and have just said this.

Exactly this.

I'd run. You won't manage perfect tact and an escape. You'll have to be quite firm.

If she was someone I knew and liked, I’d go.

Based on what you’ve written, I’d politely decline. I hate people forcing themselves on me.

I wouldn’t be going and condoning this relationship.

I think the wedding planning has probably highlighted her lack of friends and now she wants to build a relationship with you to plug that hole.

Look, this woman has no boundaries (see: long term affair). She won’t care that you are giving off hints that you don’t want to be friends or socialise. I imagine she will wheedle and pressurise you until she gets what she wants because she may well be a bit desperate and needy and basically unreliable and chaotic.

If someone is crossing your boundaries or encroaching on them, all you can do is make those boundaries clearer and stronger. Otherwise you’ll just be a doormat to the needs and whims of someone you do not respect.

Did you miss the part where the op said that this woman told her exactly how and what happened ‘with no details spared’. That’s kind of what the thread is about? The woman’s told her what a scumbag she is which is why the op wants nothing to do with her

A former escort who has affairs with married men probably isn't many people's first choice for a friend.

I do wonder if her fiancé was a client originally 🤔

She may well be trying to make a new life for herself.

I use to work in a call centre and one of the managers was a former porn star in her younger years.

This thread is hilarious.

So many silly judgmental responses.

I really can't bear it when women hold themselves up as the moral police.

If you do t want to go to her wedding then decline, OP, but stop making assumptions about her marriage/relationship when you have NO IDEA what went on.

If nothing else, she’s an extreme oversharer. Who tells their colleagues they used to be an escort and had an affair?
😂😳

Unfortunately you are busy that day but you hope she has a great day. Keep it vague, friendly but professional. If she invited you for social occasions and you don’t want to go, give a similar answer. No need to jugde her personal life, she is a work colleague, nothing more. Keep it at a friendly professional level.

She'll have you organising the hen if you're not careful

I'd save my pity for the family she helped destroy tbh.

She has no friends as people don’t like assholes, she is trying to get acquaintances to fill the roles and pad out the wedding- pathetic

Haven’t RTFT but I would politely decline and send a small gift

How very strange.
I’d be very bemused to be invited to someone’s wedding in these circumstances. Added to that the demand to start socialising with you.
I would give her a wide birth.
I would not go to the wedding, make up an excuse. It could be anything. Your dh’s relative is visiting from Australia and the date clashes with a big surprise party being thrown for them.
If she mentions socialising I would say how you’d love to but you have too much on at the minute.

She should be embarrassed.

I would just decline the invite and then tell her that I prefer to keep work and home life separate and don't socialise with colleagues. For me this is true. You obviously can't say that if you do have loads of work friends.

My next door neighbour once invited me to his wedding out of the blue when we had hardly ever spoken and I had no idea he was in a relationship let alone know the ladies name. I just declined. Said I was busy. It transpired she was a 'mail order bride' from the Philippines and I have since called the police to them on more than one occasion as I can hear him being verbally abusive to her through the walls so I am glad that I did not go to the wedding and somehow be a party to that. For me inviting randomers to your wedding seems a red flag.

I’d definitely decline the wedding before she starts lining you up as bridesmaid.

Wow 😂😂😂😂😂

Aw I kind of feel sorry for her. She probably has no friends, maybe never had a serious relationship and this awful man has swept her off her feet. I imagine she'll regret a lot of her choices one day. I'd probably just befriend her because i felt sorry for her.

There'll be a reason she doesn't have any friends and is inviting a vague work contact to her wedding. I'd steer clear. She has a plan to slot you seamlessly into 'friends' box. It's very odd at the least.

It's perfectly fine to tell a colleague that you only want to keep your relationship professional.