Sending nudes?

Rule of thumb. If they ask you to do anything that you don't want to do enough, or trust them enough to do, without needing a second opinion, don't do it.

I don't think it's even safe any more to send a photo without your face in it. Not with all the software that's available now. If the person had clothed photos of you with your face visible, it probably wouldn't be all that difficult to edit them.

If you do make sure u hide any identity features or backgrounds. Including face, tattoos, scars etc

The fact that you've been together for two years, but you still think this could be 'a test' and that he might 'judge you' for it, suggests to me that this relationship is absolutely not healthy enough for you to consider sending him a nude picture.

You've been together two years, but the way you're talking about the possibility of him testing you and then judging you for falling into his weird 'send nudes' trap sounds like something a woman would say about a man she'd only been on a couple of dates with. Is this some sort of long distance relationship or something? How well do you actually know each other?

It's pretty obvious that you're not actually comfortable with this and you shouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with for anyone.

While I think the OP specifically would be be unwise to send a nude pic - in general, I don't really share the general Mumsnet horror of exchanging pictures with a significant other, if both partners find it sexy. Obviously there is a risk that they might end up being shared, particularly if the relationship breaks down, but I think if someone is aware of that risk and feels that the fun outweighs it, then it's fine.

Plus... You know he only wants it for one purpose, and it's not a purpose I'd be keen to facilitate - why would I want him to be using a pic rather than connecting with me in person....

Well, it wouldn't be 'instead of connecting in person', would it? It would be 'in addition to connecting in person' or 'for those occasions when connecting in person isn't possible due to distance'. It's OK for anyone to enjoy a wank as well as sex, you know.

At the very least he'll probably have a wk over it 🤢
Why does he want it, do you require a dick pick? Thought not.

I don't understand why you'd consider it repulsive that a man would be turned on by a picture of his own partner, or why you'd think it was impossible that a woman could be turned on by her boyfriend's hard-on.

A digital image can always be retrieved even if it has been "deleted".

How do you think the police manage to catch out so many paedos when they have "deleted" all their child pornography?

@Mayis It would be an absolute NO from me BTW.

Don't send anything you would mind being put on a billboard outside your childrens' school

Sorry but it's v trashy.

Never been asked and wouldn't do it anyway.

Boyfriends can wank over me by closing their eyes and using their imagination, as men have been doing forever.

Never, ever. Never even been asked.

No, non, nien, nada, never. That happy relationship today could turn into that toxic breakup tomorrow and he/she will always have those photos to hold over you

This is easy. Do you want to?

If yes, do it.
If no, don't do it.

It's only normal if the intended recipient of the pic can be trusted and no one has a safe guard against knowing what will happen in the future. It's not even the person with the pics that might do wrong. The phone can get stolen ot hacked. I dont think ppls responses are ott... read the stories of ppl that have been traumatised by their pics getting out.

Plenty of photos online of other peoples body parts. Find someone of a similar colouring and size to you and send them that if you must.

I wouldn't.

Once you've sent it it's completely out of your control and you have no idea where it might end up and who it might be shared with, (e.g. to his friends, your family/workplace, the internet in general), both now or in future when you might not be on such good terms.

And if it ends up on the internet you'll never get it taken down effectively.

Plus... You know he only wants it for one purpose, and it's not a purpose I'd be keen to facilitate - why would I want him to be using a pic rather than connecting with me in person....

Remember Margaret Duchess of Argyll.

Nope… I grew up in age where nothing was in writing and photos were evidence to resurface at an inconvenient time (Yep tell me you’re GenX without telling me, right?!)

That being said you’re a grown woman do it if you want .. no judgement from me.

😳

Me too maybe every couple months most recently was me with a dil*o stuck to the mirror he loved it … 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Send him a picture of a stunning glamour model with the head cropped off and just say you were too shy to show your face 😉

Absolutely fucking not.

Once you've taken that photo, and it's uploaded to another device (ie sent, or backed up), it's no longer under your control - even assuming that the person managing the device(s) at the other end is trustworthy, their security hygiene may not be.

Never, under any circumstances, unless you want to be the next in a long line of people crying about how unfair it is that your nude photos are out there and there's nothing you can do about it.

Nope. I sent one to my, now ex, husband and he thought it would be funny to use it as wallpaper on his phone!

It's your body and your choice but if you break up in the future,you run the risk of revenge porn or him showing off to his freinds.

In know it does not happen on evrey occasion but that's the risk you take and not a risk I would take personally

If you want to, go for it. You're a consenting adult sending something to another consenting adult.

That said I'm way more laid back about things like this than most of mumsnet I think. It's just a body, plenty of people have seen me naked, plenty more will 🤷

Is it a long distance relationship? It would cause me concern the sudden but persistent interest in it.

Personally I wouldn't its very risky and really its unnecessary. What's wrong with his imagination or waiting till he sees you why does he desperately need pixels of you?

Most women I know have never been desperate for a dick pic. So you really have to look behind what the reasoning is. It would suggest to me he has no sexual discipline.perhaps sees women as objects/ is well used to masturabting to a screen.
I appreciate my relationship boundaries are not yours op. But for me a partner using pornography is a very unattractive/unhealthy activity to me and actually pixels are pixels so this would fall under that same category to me. I like to experience sex in person have that connection to a real person.

I know of plenty of people who have unfortunately had their pictures swapped online in return for others or ratings. Almost like these women/partners are pokemon to trade for these men it's awful.

This.

Just don’t include your face.